I moved on smiling
I can’t forget
The day you left me
It was so hard
Having to let you go
I couldn’t understand
Why it had to happen
Didn’t you love me anymore?
Why?
I kept on asking
I just couldn’t accept the truth
You are gone now
In her arms
Not in mine
You left me here
All alone and crying
I'm wondering
If you ever feel my pain?
When I fall in tears at night
Do you ever feel my sorrow?
When I want you near
Do you ever feel my longing?
I just want to know
If you ever regret on leaving me?
Then
I saw you
Happy
And smiling
And laughing
Then I understood
You never regretted anything
I was foolish to wait
To expect
That you still loved me
I can see
You love her more than I ever felt with the love you gave me
I finally realized
I could never have you back
But I told myself its ok
I should move on with my life
So I sealed the pain you gave
Deep within the darkness of my heart
Then the time came
And she left you
You came back to me
And said you’re sorry
You said you love me
And that you would never again go and leave
I stood straight
And looked at you
I stared at your eyes
And looked beyond
That pleading stare
Those sweet words
And your gentle touch
What I saw
I couldn’t deny
Behind all the things you’re pretending to be
I saw so much lies
You weren’t true
I could see
You were here
So just to hurt me
I stood straight
And smiled at you
I told you I’m sorry
I could never take you back
I could never again
Let you stab my heart
I turned my back
And walked away
I left you standing
With a blank look on your face
And as I walked slowly
Away from you
I walked with a smile
I walked with confidence
For I knew I left you feeling lost
Wrapped around the same coldness
You left me with
As I left you
I didn’t feel anything
Not even a little hurt
Cause I know I’ve moved on
And I’m proud of myself
There’s no reason to look back
I told myself
Cause we’ve already reached
The last page of our story
Were I left you
And moved on smiling.
2006-09-23 16:53:46 · 17 answers · asked by Odz 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
actually cadence, to tell you the truth, i just write down what i feel, its not about my experience, when something pops in my head i just write it down
2006-09-23 17:19:15 · update #1
Wow...that was deep. An open look into the soul, it showed the vulnerability we all feel when we are hurt by the ones we love. It makes the reader feel your pain. I really enjoyed it. Great writing.
2006-09-23 17:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel like crying right now. I will take it that you are writing from experience. I congratulate you for sticking up for yourself, not for falling into chains once again. However, I just hope you didn't do that for retribution. And it's somewhat obvious that you're not over it; you're writing about it.
Anyway, the poem is terrific. It's a very emotional piece of writing. It's just so real. And your use of language is excellent.
2006-09-24 00:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by cadence_lost 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made me cry.
And that is a good poem, the best thing I red in last... who knows how much.
But trust me, if you love someone, you are ready to forgive over and over again, to forgive even when you know that you will be hurt again.
It would be great to know how to overcome pain and those feelings. It would be great if I could live just like your song. To overcome what is not meant to be.
2006-09-24 03:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by no one 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite deep. Full of love. Congratulations.
2006-09-23 23:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by ESKORBUTIN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't bad, but I wasn't too fond of it, personally. I enjoy poems that have a bit of order in them. I've written poems like these though. I guess I just didn't like the subject matter. Maybe I've just heard the story too many times, only I liked how you didn't go back to her in the end. Very brave.
Keep it up.
2006-09-24 01:01:12 · answer #5 · answered by hersheyshayer 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh, the angst. This would be great put into rap form. Think you can find someone (or just do it yourself) to set this to music?
2006-09-24 02:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Kitsune 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too rambling and disjointed. Too much repetition. Keep rewriting till you are satisfied with it, then we'll see. Practice makes perfect. It does have promise. Good luck!
2006-09-24 04:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by capobeachgrandma 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send it to a rap artist, it read like a rap song.
2006-09-24 04:37:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dearest Claes.gio,
Congratulate!
You can be very proud of you!
Love, Tina
2006-09-24 00:14:54 · answer #9 · answered by mount_tina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a literary work, it has little merit. As something that you write down to help order your thoughts and feelings, and to express yourself, it's fine. Writing poetry to sort and express your thoughts is great. I would not aim for publication with your work.
Cheers!
2006-09-24 01:10:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋