what would you do if your husband said....?

Question

that you are not a wife and this isn't a marriage, I didn't marry you to take care of you there are a lot of women out there that don't have a man and you have one. marrry 11 years and want told this.

Answer 1

I don't know what the situation was about when he told you this, but there are certainly some issues with him. Looks like he is asking you to go to work (if you aren't already), make money and take care of yourself. There's nothing wrong with both partners working, but they should both work at home then. Maybe you should ask him exactly what he expects of you as a wife and ask him if he loves you. If you cannot accept his expectations of you, then you two have to solve the problem or go your own ways.

Answer 2

Remind him that in this country after 10 years you are entitled to half of his income. Most judges would award you that and part of his retirement. Start socking away money girl because he is sounds like he is trying to find a justification for leaving you. Start planning. Community property laws will also give you half of everything. He's a sh*t for saying that to you. "With all my worldly goods, I thee endow...".
Also, inform him that most women wouldn't cook,clean, wash, decorate, etc...without being paid. Is he willing to start paying you a salary for all that you do in the home? The government recognizes a wife's contribution to the household that is why when he files his taxes there is a "joint" option. They know he would have to pay several different people to do what you do daily because you are his wife. He doesn't appreciate you and it's time for you to do a full on STRIKE. Also, find out WHO HE IS TALKING TO that all of a sudden he is so discontent. I bet you anything he has someone on the side either on the internet or in his work.

Answer 3

This is a very harsh thing to say cause he took vows to love you better or for worse etc....but you guys really need to sit down and talk about it ask him what is the problem? get counseling, do more activities together, talk more. I'm not saying cater to him but ask him what can you do to make your marrige with him better and you don't keep your mouth shut you tell him of the problems you have with him (if any). And if your not working go out and get a part-time job. My mother always told me don't ever let a man take care of you unless your sick cause he is going to one day tell you(I didn't marry you to take care of you )And if you have kids you tell him this is my job taking care of the kids and maintaining the household. Baby if that don't work you tell him to do it on his own and leave.

Answer 4

(Don't understand the last part, but here's the answer to the first part that ends after "marriage.")

Marriage is admiration respect, passion and trust. These things are necessary for a marriage to stay healthy. If you no longer have or feel any of this for him, and he has or feels none of these for you, they you guys are roommates. Nothing wrong with roommates, but if you thought you had a marriage, uhhhhh no.

What would I do? I guess I'd try to see where my head was with respect to him. If I felt none of this, and if I wanted to be in a marriage, and this one wasn't working for either him nor me, guess I'd try to get us into counseling. After a fair go at that, and assuming I wan't happy, guess I'd file.... Life is too short to live just with a roommate.

Answer 5

Usually a husband says something like this if he is unhappy with something you're doing or not doing.

Have you discussed this with him to find out what he is not happy with?

My husband told me the same thing last year. I have been married 11 years also. We had a discussion and worked things out.

Answer 6

I would leave that dumb A$$...... so you can help all those women out here who dont have man so. that mean you really want to go with all those women that fine. I don't need you in my life. I can move on. if you asking me to come back or beg or anything.. believe me you already said it clearly and now I am looking after myself... I am a woman can live without a man. smile.

Answer 7

You have structured your question to invite responses that will support what you already believe. This is nowhere near enough information to give you a considered response. If you want some kind of objective, useful feedback, be real and tell us more than that.

Answer 8

I guess I would be extremely hurt. I think it depends on what lead up to him saying this. Were you argueing? Was it out of the blue? If you were fighting he was probably just angry and taking you for granted. If it was out of the blue he may be looking at other relationships and comparing yours to theirs. Either way I would talk to him about it and find out why he said that and tell him he hurt you in saying it.

Answer 9

Were you fighting at the time? not just bickering but down and out fighting? if you were perhaps he said it just to hurt you. Not that it makes it rite, perhaps you should consider your options. Has he expressed this opinion often or in other manners.I personally would ask my husband just what he meant by that comment and take things from there.

Answer 10

oh, did he said that? shame on him! if he needes his woman's attention than he must be wise enough to get for her all the attention and love he needes, and not by criticize her.

lady, your man has some thing going wrong in his life... help him if you can because if you cannot you must be wise enough to deal with them. maybe he needs some more appreciation, or a good meal... try to figurate out what he needes. good luck!