Do you think confidance is taught, or is it in out DNA?

Question

I struggle with this question...I work in downtown Chicago,
and do a daily study as I pass hundreds of people each day. Without fail, some people are unflappable and cocksure about themselves, and some are hesitant and
timid. I can't for the life of me act with them same confidence as the many folks I walk past. I also pass
by hundreds in a major office tower each day, and they all
seem quite sure about themselves. For the life of me, I can't pull it out. My self-consciousness always gets the best
of me. I've always wondered how people can be so sure of
themselves.
It seems to me more an act than anything else, like you are performing a little show for people. Attorneys have this
downpact, along with bankers. Just goes with the territory.
All the investment bankers that I deal with have the same
strong walk about them. I think that it is more important
than the content of what they know and say. I'll even say
that body language rulesIts where success truly begins and ends

I truthfully think the hardest think to do is
change a formally self-effacing, self-conscious, shy personality into a ballsy, set-the-world-on-fire personality. It's almost
like ripping yourself apart inside to go against the grain of that. Believe ne, i've
tried every mental trick in the book. If come to the conclusion that you can't fight it, accept the fact that you are more shy than
others, and thats simply the way you were
wired.I think its environmental AND genetic, however, if you go through childhood and/or adolescence with a unforgiving, mean environment that beat
you down, it stays with you all through adulthood. I've been reading self-help books for years, and none do any good.
Face it, you are what you are. You can try to put yourself in more social settings, and fight it to a certain level, but better to find quieter, more mellow people like yourself.
I just moved into a very intelligent arty area
north of the loop here, and It should change my life.......

Answer 1

With these questions I usually say that it is both environmental and genetic. In this case I would say the same. However, in this case I would say that it is more environmental than genetic. Since you are dealing with adults there was plenty of time for their level of confidence to become altered due to their environment. I think that confidence levels of confidence can be changed at any time, but the more you are used to one level the more you become comfortable with it. The more comfortable you are with one level the less likely you are to change.

Answer 2

Sorry, but I don’t think that confidence can be given by either teaching or DNA. It has to be earned. I believe you can earn it two ways:

1.Taking risks and then coming out the other end, weather it is a good or a bad ending doesn’t matter. “Playing it safe” is never a confidence builder.
2.Start living the life of a person that you respect. Shame and guilt are the biggest destroyers of confidence. Start by finding a mentor that you respect, one that has put into practice the values that you believe in.

I’m not saying that you are not doing the above two(I don’t know you), I am just telling you what brought me from low self-esteem to self confidence.

Good question, a lot of people struggle with this.

Answer 3

I'm sure DNA is a part of it, but humans have a great way of teaching themselves new behavior. Also, it has a great deal to do with what your environment was when you were growing up.

Confidence comes from being sure of your capabilities, and what you're telling yourself internally. Make yourself an expert in something, and your confidence goes up.

When I first started in sales and computer support, I was very nervous, very unsure of myself when I met new people. Now I can walk into any business, talk to anyone from the mail room guy to the President of the company comfortably and confidently.

Experience, and PRACTICE are the two biggest factors in changing your confidence level. Try to step outside your comfort zone a little bit each day, expanding it every day, and soon you'll be confident anywhere.

Answer 4

Convidence comes from the enviroment you were raised in as a child. If your parents had no confidence, you most likey don't either. It is not inherited. That "strong walk" may help in the beginning, but when the time comes, they will need a lot more that that! Body language can send all kings of feeling, more so than speaking.

Answer 5

I think you get more confidence as you experience life more when I was in my teens& early 20s i was very insecure about myself and now that im a liitle older and had more experiences Im much more confidant than ever. It comes with age and self exceptance.

Answer 6

My guess is it is 25% genetic, 25% chemical, and 50% environmental. Most people with problems have it in the chemical or environmental area.

Answer 7

There is an article on this site about believing that you need to read. I think it can help.

Answer 8

Both....A person can be like that naturally and a person can be taught it.