Mid 40's and realizing my sub-conscoius attraction to chaos when I get bored of smooth peaceful atmospmere. I realize the descruction and trying to change - but never fails to keep repeating the behavior, although it has become less frequent but none the less still there. Has anyone successfully changed and how?
2006-09-23 16:14:39 · 9 answers · asked by Mr unsure 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My first thought is codependency. If you have been in abusive both emotional or physical relationships - chaos seems like the norm, so when chaos is absent you feel like something is wrong. I don't think it's a flaw - I think it's a healing process. Sort through the chaotic times in your life - realize your worth - realize what God wants for you - and then embrace peace.
2006-09-23 18:03:23 · answer #1 · answered by skevans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's possible to change anything, in order to have something. I have had several issues, that have prevented me having a healthy relationship, and only professional help allowed me to dive in and tackle things, so that they would eventually dissolve.
Maybe your love for chaos runs deeper than it seems, even to you. It could be triggered by something else, and maybe that could be targeted and fixed. I don't know you, so answering accurately is a little difficult. But maybe you should look into things a little deeper, and find out why there is this attraction there, and how it can be successfully dealt with.
You're in your 40's, you owe that much to yourself.
Maybe for most of your life, you have been surrounded with the more chaotic and fast-paced atmosphere, so when you settle down, you crave it. Or almost miss it. Often, environment plays a huge part in our comfort zones. There could be many factors associating with your need for disturbance.
All the best.
2006-09-23 23:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by Medicated Harmony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is a great question . the answer is yes because i have but i think the better question is what if one person is not or can not find that kernel of understanding that classifies their personality as a flaw that prevents a healthy relationship. And that my friend is not easy to know. That is why love can be so treacherous. So how did i change i kept challenging myself to be better and tried successfully to catch myself being "neurotic." sooner. Before it has neurotic consequences that prevent a healthy relationship.
I think the greatest skill is knowing who not to get with before it becomes a problem., but that in some ways might be impossible cause that person may be the key to your own salvation. In that they may create the conditions for a the real you to leave, or make the necessary change,etc... I think usually that kind of thinking requires action. whatever it is.
Dont give up. Read act read act read act act act read
2006-09-23 23:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by lightlytread 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I've experienced a very similar pattern in my life. For no apparent reason I create problems to test the relationships into destruction (and they usually work).
I'm learning that I need to just find something else to do with my time.
2006-09-23 23:17:55 · answer #4 · answered by tjjone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember 9/11 and consider the peace a blessing
2006-09-23 23:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mid life crisis to me.
2006-09-23 23:18:16 · answer #6 · answered by teacher1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.Get counselling.
2006-09-23 23:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by eugene65ca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recognize your faults and what triggers them.
Aviod those triggers
2006-09-23 23:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by lowflyer1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling!
2006-09-23 23:17:34 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋