should i leave?

Question

he keeps saying he will change but never does and i can't mentally take it anymore , but the thing is i still love him!!
what should i do?
help fast!!!

drugs abuse mentall and physical

i cant tell u waht i love about , i am just so scared of being alone. i am a very dependant person!!!

Answer 1

Baby, people don't change. Do you love him, or do you love who you hope he'll become once he changes? Don't waste your time. There is a great guy out there for you who won't make you mentally exhausted. It's not good for your soul. It's hard to leave. But then again, the right thing to do is usually the hardest, most difficult option. Good luck...let me know how it turns out!

Answer 2

I am in the same situtation at you. My husband has been abusing me for the past two years. I feel dependent of him, and I'm scared to leave, but I know that would be best if I did. I know my life would be more enjoyable. I would be free and happy, but why can't I do it? It's such a confusing thing. The reason I'm not leaving right now is because I can't drive, I have a 12 month old daughter, and start school on Monday.

Listen, this man isn't gonna change. My husband hasn't even though he said he would try. Everytime he says he'll try it only ends up worse. Get out ASAP.

Answer 3

my answer: LEAVE and get out now, or you may never be able too.
I'm not sure what it is you want him to change about, whether he mentally or physically abuses you or what.

He says he'll change or he "sorry" to make you feel better so you'll stay with him, but truth is hon, he's never going to. My sister has actually just figured this out. She's with a guy who does drugs, steals from her, and lately has taken things to a physical level. He always said he'd quit, he's not stealing from her it just "came up missing" he "ate the food" he didn't sell it. It took him going off to buy drugs and leaving her 6 year old son to fend for himself to finally call it quits and move out (that by the way is just the tip of her iceburg)

All in all, he won't change, so leave him. He can't stop you, he doesn't own you. You owe him nothing. You do not NEED him. You are your own person and can and DO deserve better.

Answer 4

All of us are capable of loving more than one person in our lives, as you must know. If he is mentally abusive, which is what I would say is happening from what you said, then yes, you should leave. Life is too short. You may feel you love him now, but once you get away and you are free and you see what life is like when you are not stressing out and in emotional pain --- you will be very happy that you left. You WILL find love again.... real love in which the other person treats you like a princess and you do not live your life in stress because of him. And do not stress yourself more by giving this a long death... tell him it's over... walk away and do not look back. Give yourself a real chance of happiness.

Answer 5

If you love him, and feel it's worth saving your marriage, then the answer is go to counseling to get the help you need. There are many agencies out there that will even provide free counseling should you not be able to afford it. You don't give many details so I'm not sure what he needs to change. Is he cheating on you?...if so then that marriage probably cannot be saved ..but that is up to you. Is he just sloppy, or a poor listener?..those things can be worked out..and sometimes we think it is THEM..but it's us too that has to change and become more accepting of those things we want to change about them. Certainly no accepting of infidelity...but I'm talking about the little things. Again, without knowing details, it's hard to say but I wish you good luck, and my best suggestion is to get counseling for the both of you together.

Answer 6

Okay...what do you want him to change exactly? Is he verbally or physically abusive? Then get out. Does he leave the toilet seat up? Work it out. This is all a bit easier if you don't actually live together. You know what makes you happy and what makes you crazy and depressed and sad. Be honest with yourself and with him. Take some space if you need it. And you can love him forever, but if it's not reciprocal you're going to feel ripped off. (People love their spouses and children and still treat them like garbage sometimes.)

Answer 7

My dear, I cannot tell you to leave him, that is entirely up to you. Sit down and think if you can make it without him, ask yourself is what you are going through is worth your time and peace of mind. You can love someone and do not have to take what he dishes out, love him from a distance. You will see that after you are away from him for a while, you will feel better about yourself and the situation you were in.
I say this to you, to make you think, but I still cannot make your decision. Make your decision wisely, just asking this question is telling you, that something has to change.
God bless on whatever you decide, I have a very strong feeling that you will make the right one.

Answer 8

I can tell you from personal experience, my last relationship was just like that... that saying it is better to have loved and lost should come into play here. People will ultimately do JUST what they WANT to do. If he wanted to change he would , and if he just can't no matter how hard he's tried, then you know hes just not the one for you. Keep him in a special place in your heart just for him, and move on to someone who completes you, dont be held back.

Answer 9

Well it's up 2 you & if he says he'll change & he doesn't then the balls in your court & you need to decide this one on your own if he is mentally abusing you then get out & go to a shelter they'll help you or call a family member.Good Luck

Answer 10

Well we don't know exactly what the problem is...but life is too short to spend it with the wrong person. If someone says they will change...they need to or...its over. That is ...is what they need to change important? Just because you love him...doesn't mean it will work. It takes two. Both of you have to give 100%.