my girlfriend got rapped by a homeless guy when she was 15. Where both 16 now and whenever i go to touch her she tells me to stop a few seconds after she just told me it was okay. Why is she doing this? She wont trust me with anything and she's constantly studying me and waiting for me to mess something up. I dont push her to do anything physical i always let her decide. I am a guy and i do want some action and I want a girlfriend not a friend.
2006-09-23 16:02:53 · 10 answers · asked by mattman70 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
You're being an insensitive jerk. Tell her you're not good enough for her, let her find someone better.
P.S. This is not an arts & humanities question.
2006-09-23 16:09:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
How old are you 16? Don't you think that maybe you're still kinda young to be having sex. You can think about sex all you want, you can even jack off as often as you want, but you've got more important things to think about, like school and your future. You can wait a few years. And you need to get over the stereotype that all guys absolutely want sex. I know that you're a guy and you probably know what you want and don't want, but not all guys are as anxious abt getting some action as you are.
Second of all, I think that if you really loved your girlfriend you would wait as long as it was necessary before having any sexual relations with her. If you're really horny then you have other options beside having sex with your girlfriend. For instance, like I already mentioned, you can masturbate (which im sure you already do, no doubt).
Or you could tell your girlfriend that the relationship isn't working out and you would like a break, but I wouldn't suggest this (if you truly love her) because, as if it weren't bad enough that she was raped by a man and that she already lacks trust in guys, if you do this she will probably start thinking that all guys will ever want out of her is sex.
Have you talked to her about this? Maybe if you haven't, you should. I mean, after all, this is obviously a very important subject for both of you: you want to touch her and she is afraid to be touched. This is obviously the ultimate solution. In the end you will have decided what you should do about your little problem and whether or not your relation is going to work out in the end
Good luck.
2006-09-23 23:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by hersheyshayer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is not going to get over being raped in a few months or even a year...and even if you don't think you are you are pushing her for something that she obviously can't give. She needs help and you need to back off and realize that just because you "aren't getting any" doesn't mean your life hasn't started yet. Do you want to be a dad at 17? Is that all girls are good for is "action"?
What makes you think that because you are a "guy" you are in titled to some action? If a girl said the same thing you would call her a who**. Get a life and grow up.
2006-09-23 23:11:46 · answer #3 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat. My girlfriend was raped when she was 14 by her boyfriend. She now has to live seeing that same guy almost everyday at school. Shes 16 now and we have been going out for 5 1/2 Months and she still wont want to do some things with me. This is because she feels vulnerable and shes afraid that I'm going to take advantage of her (which I'm not going to) like her X, but i accept the fact and I respect It. You should to.
And to answer you're question you need to ease into things, talk to her about it and reassure her that you're not just with her for sex , and you also have to gain her trust because after being raped would you just trust someone easily?
2006-09-25 19:38:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is pretty simple and it's been in several other answers. Don't push her. If she is worth it, wait for her. However, There is more that you should know. For some reason it is hard for many young men and women to understand, but it is perfectly okay to see more than one person at your age. I'm not suggesting that you go find someone to cheat on your girlfriend with, but it's okay to talk to other girls, and even to hang out with them. You might find someone you care for even more. I know that many young couples today think they are going to stay together forever, and yes, I have two high school friends who got married just a while ago, but you have to look from the outside at how young you are. I can't tell you if she's worth waiting for. You need to discover that yourself. I can tell you that you're not a bad person if you leave her for physical reasons, but if you decide she's worth it, you are a good man for understanding and waiting.
2006-09-24 01:58:33 · answer #5 · answered by Locke 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend may need counseling to get over this terrible experience. A year is not a long time in the life of a sensitive young girl. This won't be welcome news, but there's nothing good to be gained from pushing her. The more insistent you are, the more upset she'll become. If you intend to have sex, perhaps you need to link up with a girl who wants the same. At your age, there's no reason for you to be in an exclusive relationship; you can see this girl and other girls, and you can have different kinds of relationships with them.
2006-09-23 23:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by silver.graph 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dude, get out of this.
Be kind though, suggest she see a therapist... the fresher the incident is in her mind, the easier it will be to transcend it.
2006-09-23 23:10:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, she got raped a year ago. Lay off, already--it takes years to get over that, even with therapy. If you really love her, you're just going to have to wait. Or, if you really want to get laid you're going to have to date someone else.
2006-09-23 23:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by spunk113 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should suggest her seeing a therapist to help her deal with having been raped. If she doesn't get help now, her issues will be obstacles in your relationship.
2006-09-23 23:09:20 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Back Off! Don't be an asshole.
2006-09-24 02:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by WWMD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋