my girlfriend got rapped by a homeless guy when she was 15. Where both 16 now and whenever i go to touch her she tells me to stop a few seconds after she just told me it was okay. Why is she doing this? She wont trust me with anything and she's constantly studying me and waiting for me to mess something up. I dont push her to do anything physical i always let her decide. I am a guy and i do want some action and I want a girlfriend not a friend.
2006-09-23 16:00:35 · 15 answers · asked by mattman70 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you sound like a d**k. Try to be more understanding
2006-09-23 16:04:10 · answer #1 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, a year probably isn't nearly long enough for her to have dealt with her rape. She's probably saying "ok" because she knows what you want, and she feels bad that she can't give it to you. Then she gets frightened or has memories of what went on with her rape. Stop making this about you, and try to understand that she's experienced something with far-reaching repercussions that you can never begin to comprehend.
If you're more interested in getting sex than in her well-being, then do her a favor, break it off, and go find someone else. What she *does* need is a friend and support and patience and caring -- if you're not willing to be that for her, then leave her alone.
Being "a guy" doesn't entitle you to anything. Grow up.
2006-09-23 16:08:58 · answer #2 · answered by milomax 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you don't have much of choice. You need to reexamine your real purpose for being with this girl. Do your really care for her or do you just want to get your "willy" wet? Does how she feels inside matters to you or just your own needs. You ever thought that maybe she might be traumatized?
She needs a very understanding man in her life and you need a hooker. So here's where you get to be a man. You should think deeply about what it is your really want while weighing it against her situation. Then you should come to the conclusion that you are going to forgo sex until she is truly ready or you can just be open and honest and let her know that sex is more important to you than she and move on. Go get what you want and allow her to heal.
Be real with yourself even if you refuse to be what she needs. You guys are young, you'll both heal.
2006-09-23 16:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
dude if ur grl was raped she wont let u touch her for a reason it going to take her a long time to be able to trust u may be getting impatiant but just wait let her learn that she CAN trust u and that its safe i didnt let my bf do anything with me for almost a year i think and now we do everything as soon as u gain her trust u will be fine if u can handle the wait than obviously shes not worth the wait if u really love her just wait she has every right in this world to not let u touch her u may be her boyfriend but shes still scared to death also one other thing to help her over her fear talk to her see if she will let u touch her as in hold her hand hug her just plane be nice and say well u can help her see if u can get her to trust u to hold u for just a little while treat her like a queen she will come to realize that she can trust u and ull be the only one that she trusts for a long time trust me personal experience im a 16 yr old grl and ive had my fair share of problem realating to hers that my bf helped me through if u wanna ask anymore questions
jbsprincess1990@yahoo.com im heather by the way
2006-09-23 16:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by I luv you James! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then go find a "girlfriend" that will let you get your nuts. If you have any love or compassion for this girl you would let her make all the moves.
Maybe you could imagine being in her shoes, being raped, having something forced into your body against your will. She has been traumatized beyond anything you have experienced and yet your hormones seem to be in control of your actions and thoughts.
And yeah, I know, I am a guy, but one of my very good friends was raped several years ago, and another guy forced himself on her, she committed suicide when she found out she was pregnant. Two beautiful lives lost.
2006-09-23 16:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rape can be traumatic, and it can take a while for a victim to get over it. Be sensitive to her needs. She's been through something that can really mess with her mind. If you love her, you will be willing to understand where she is.
personally, I think you are too young to be putting yourself in the situation where you can get her pregnant. She's probably worried about that, as well.
2006-09-23 16:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? This isn't about YOU. For God's sakes, she was raped. She's traumatized. She needs counseling. She doesn't need some jerk wanting to paw her who only thinks of himself.
She's scared, insecure and wanting a normal life that she's never going to have. I'm sure she would love to forget all about it and give you what you want, but tough, she can't do that.
If you can't support her through this then do her a favor and leave her alone. She doesn't need this.
2006-09-23 16:47:16 · answer #7 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to be patient and think with the head on your shoulders not the other one! just think of what she might of gone through and she still is, this doesn't go away over night...it's something she's gonna carry with her for a long time, if you care about her you need to show her that you care and you'll be patient, respect her wishes and don't push her do something she's not ready to do yet...control your raging hormones!
2006-09-23 16:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by spanishqueen39 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she is still traumatized over the rape. It also sounds to me like you care more for getting action that for her. Personally, I hope she dumps your a** and soon. She deserves better than you.
2006-09-23 23:16:44 · answer #9 · answered by BONNI 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cut the bastards balls off !!!!
but your both young and have all the time in the world for sex
your little lady will need a lot of Patience and probably professional help as well does her mother know?
2006-09-23 16:11:01 · answer #10 · answered by davedoreen@btinternet.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude ..... your woman is very affraid she is having backflashes of the terrable day/night this is why she is holding back from please dont take it to heart ok she is still paranoid she thinks your the homeless guy so dont think this is your fault friend tell her that you love her deeply still DON'T be so hard on her because she isnt putting out ok
peace bro
2006-09-23 16:11:53 · answer #11 · answered by shotgunblues_98 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋