it is our problem. i mean when they tell us that they drink cause of us. cause they think they are in love with us and we dont want to be with them sort of like a controlling factor. will it help us with our feeling we are in bondage or quilty cause of their drinking. i mean all the emotional abuse that they put us through will it help with that? and also the physical abuse for all the years even though that stopped and it became mental abuse? will it help with that? and if so where can i get to one? and man why havent i known about this resource years ago i went through over 11yrs of physical to emotional to mental abuse the physical stopped when i put him in jail then the emotional rollerercoaster to mental torment. he maybe changing ,but i believe i have been damaged. well he tries not to drink when around me. he doesnt live with me, but when i take our son over there to him and his mom, who he stays with then he tries not to.i try to be nice so he wont give them hell. i am tired.
2006-09-23 15:37:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
You have gotten some great advice. Al Anon is good for you, they help you to see you have nothing to be guilty of.You or your son does not cause him to drink that's his choice, but to justify their problem they blame those around them it's called control. I've been in your child's place and it is not healthy. Leave him to himself and his Mother take care of yourself and your son now. You both deserve it... Look in the phone book for them and get information for the one closest to you. God Bless you and your child.
2006-09-23 15:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by roeskats 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try Al-non. It will help you understand that his drinking in NO way is your fault. Even with all the emotional abuse you've been through, you are NOT to blame. I am a recovering person and I tried all those tricks myself. Believe me, once HE gets help, everyone will be much better off. I am not an AA bible preacher but I know that giving up the alcohol has changed my life for the better. Right now you need support. Go get it.
2006-09-23 22:49:28 · answer #2 · answered by Tamara 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All I got out of alanon was the usual crap that I shouldn't make him feel bad about having a disease called alcoholism. Well guess what? It isn't a disease. People don't choose to have a disease. Drunks choose to be drunks. Alcoholism is a personality disorder. A failure to cope with life. AA is a bunch of nonsense. It tells the drunks that they're OK, they just have a disease that they can't control and shame on us for being upset with the abuse. You have been damaged. The man is a loser, a drunk.
2006-09-23 22:52:00 · answer #3 · answered by Lola 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to remove yourself from the equation . i was there mental abuse is worse than physical . the bruises go away but the feelings of being useless stay with us unless we get help. locate a women's abuse group in your area by checking your phone book there are domestic abuse hot lines listed. go to the police station and ask for help they have a hold on some agencies too
2006-09-23 22:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by sharon r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey,I am a recoverin' alcoholic of over 28 years & I was never physically abusive with my wife but I'm sure I put her through some hell with my drinking.She wouldn't attend al-anon but it is a great outfit & I promise that they will help you with all the things you just asked about! Good luck,Hon!
2006-09-23 22:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by Putt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im trying the program again we drink cause we want too will use any excuse to do so so if your fed up leave him no other way around it honey i aint suger coating $hit
2006-09-23 22:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you need to leave that poor man alone and let him drink if he wants to. It's probably because you complain at him constantly that he's turned to the bottle. It's your own fault he is the way he is.
2006-09-23 22:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by synchronicity915 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ive been down the road your on, my advise is to leave him and get on with your life, unless you like the way you live right now.
2006-09-23 22:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by imalickyouallover69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋