Why do some men think they can have a girlfriend and a wife?
but when the wife finds out it's all about----your seeing things,your hearing things, or they put the blame on you, everything he did wrong is my fault.I would just like to try to understand .why? so please just tell me stright up ,no playing around. be stright up about it. ok thank you.
2006-09-23 15:34:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds as though there is someone you need to tell this to, other than the people here. Discuss this with the one causing you distress.
2006-09-23 15:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by finaldx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are basically responsible to their wife but not necessarily to the girlfriend. Maybe they it supposedly makes them feel some relief that they can have someone that they don't feel tied down to. I don't know. People who cheat have problems period. There is no reasoning or justification for cheating. I think in some cases some cheaters should be given a second chance but that's up to the other person entirely. I don't think the cheater should have the same trust and priviledges in the relationship or marriage. They should have to really work to the bone to make it up to the person they cheated on. They shouldn't expect the easy treatment. It's their own fault. I can't understand why myself. I'm not a man and i'm not a cheater. But he should probably get counseling or the wife should kick him out until he gets his life turned around. The wife doesn't force the man to make him choose. But there can be some fault of the wife that could very well push the man towards cheating if she is bitter towards him or holding back sex and intimacy. Communication is a huge part of any relationship. I honestly don't even know why a guy would want to juggle two women. Women can be very vicious so good luck to him on ever having a normal life again. or even having one of them stick with him after they know what's really going on and that he's lieing and cheating.
2006-09-23 22:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The blame game is a defensive tactic. You just have to look at politicians to understand that. Just dint be suckered in by it. Let him see that you are not fooled by his pointing the finger back at you. You might ask, how to do that. It is simple but will take practice to perfect; you will have to not get upset or even react when he tries to pull that one. Look him straight in the eye and say in a quiet and calm voice you can say "Billyboy, that tactic does not work anymore. I am smarter than you give me credit for. I know what is going on. Nothing you can say will change the facts. That said, Billyboy, you need to know this....You have one week to end this or we are done. I will be seeing an attorney and asking for advice. If you come to me after one week and say you want this marriage, you confess and ask for forgiveness, then I will go to counsel ling with you to try and salvage what we may have left. Otherwise you may as well go and be wth her and then you will probably find that you will end up cheating on your Gfriend, anyway." Go for it and G'Luck
2006-09-24 12:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm crying for you right now. My husband never had a girlfriend on the side, but he did cheat a couple times. I cheated on down the road (when we were separated) but we still got back together. the trust issue is really hard to deal with, but we're still together. Somethings just can't be explained, except that he does not want to take responsibility for his own actions. If he finds fault w/ you, he can condone his affairs. Don't accept it, and don't take it from him. Separate and get counseling, if you can salvage this marriage. He has to relize how important you are in his life and that he needs his better half -you! Don't give up on him, tho. Pray for him. Maybe God just wants you to be closer to Him. You can have an "affair" w/ Jesus. That's more fulfilling than any relationship on this earth! I know, my husband and I have had to take Jesus by the hand in order to heal from our own stupidity...
2006-09-23 23:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by breaker_1020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because some men as well as some women find nothing wrong with having their cake while they eat their steak and instead of just admitting that they are wrong for cheating on their spouse they make up excuses and in some cases they really believe that the reason why they strayed away from the marriage is the other spouses fault.
2006-09-23 22:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to blame you because it makes him feel less guilty. Been through it myself. He blamed me when talking to her. But I was the wife who cooked his dinner, did his laundry, etc., etc. She was a scanky ***** who thought he had what she wanted. Don't take the blame for what he did wrong!!!! Make sure you get some counseling, with or without him. At least there will be someone who will tell you that it was not your fault. We went to counseling to salvage what we had left. And it has worked so far. It's been 5 years. Best of luck to you. Please hang in there!!!
2006-09-23 22:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by SusieQ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think men have a hard time with totally committing themselves to one woman in marriage and they really don't understand what marriage is all about.Sometimes close is just too much,
2006-09-23 22:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by Conway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, I will keep that in mind for future reference. But if this new woman I am seeing works out, I can't imagine I would ever want anyone else. She is just amazing.
2006-09-23 22:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are just lying cheats. If you suspect it toss him out and move on. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
2006-09-23 22:40:56 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is an asshole
2006-09-23 22:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by youdontknowme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋