im hispanic and i am currently dating a black man and my mother has a problem with it...she says the problem isn't that she is racist but the rest of my family is(basically my older aunts and uncles and grandparents)..anyway she says if i choose to stay with him i am choosing him over my family because they wont accept me for being with him(im hiding this relationship from the rest of my family) and since hispanic familys tend to be very close this is a huge problem to her...what should i do? i dont even want to date him for much longer because we just dont get along but after him should i consider looking to only date hispanics ?
2006-09-23 15:08:11 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I was in a simular situation. I was going out with a hispanic man and I'm black. We ended up breaking up cause his family didnt like me cause I'm black. We have touched based since he confessed to me if it wasnt for his family we would still be together. I am now married to a white man and my family doesn't like him. My mother even probed me to marry him but I did it anyway.
The truth is you have to do whats best for you.
You can't live your life based on others peoples happiness. If you find love in another race so be it. And always remember you dont choose who you. Love chooses you.
2006-09-23 15:15:58 · answer #1 · answered by Dom . 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to date him anymore then your problem is solved.
I have a cousin who is 1/2 black (my uncle is white, his mom is black). His parents relationship ended in divorce but not because of race. My cousin married a white girl one year ago and they seem very happy together. We (my family) don't have a problem with it nor did we have a problem with his mom joining our family. In fact, some of the family liked her better than my uncle, lol! I don't know how my cousins mom's side of the family felt.
Anyhoo, I guess my point is, give your extended family a chance. If they really are horrible, then you'll know the answer. Hopefully, in this day and age, they can be a little more excepting and open-minded. Especially since hispanics also suffer from discrimination. You'd think people would be kinder to each other.
2006-09-23 15:16:09 · answer #2 · answered by faithfilled1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't limit yourself to only your own race! My mother is Black and my father Hispanic, and they had the same problem with his mother, only she had the biggest problem than most of the other relatives. It didn't last for long, though, because unless they are really bigoted, eventually (and it could take a few years) your family will accept your mate, no matter what color they are, because they will get to see them as a person and someone you love, not just a person with different racial background. I even have two friends, one is Portugeuse and the other is Black, and the girl's dad (portugeuese) wouldn't even attend their wedding and they actually postponed the wedding for years waiting for him to change, but now a few years after the wedding, he has finally accepted his son-in-law.
2006-09-23 15:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by da chet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is clear, as a crystal water.If you are dating a Hispanic man,no problem with your family.But because you are dating a different race(persona DE otro pais,culture,y costumes),that is the problem.Parents and family sometimes do not accept other races.If you really love this man, and you want one day; to be marry,is up to your heart_never up to your family thinking.With parents and family we never are okay.Parents would like to choose,to select the man for you.You need to built your happiness and your future,not your parents.If you decide to finish dating this man,and start to date Hispanics,you will have the same problem with your parents and family (they never will be satisfy about who you are dating).Good luck,think good.
2006-09-23 15:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Each culture has different excpectations of what it means to be a spouse. In some hispanic cultures women are often not as free as a "white" women in her marraige. "Black" people have other cultural issues too. I don't know what all the differences are but I do know that these should be carefully considered before one contimplates joining with someone of another culture. Also consider what outcome biracial children will have to face. It is much EASIER to find "safety" in same race marraiges, but if you date for a long enough period of time and you find yourself truely compatable in all areas of your life ie religion, how to raise kids, money issues, etc. then marry them no matter what race they belong to. Because in the end we are all part of the human race and that is the only race that matters.
2006-09-23 15:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by I-o-d-tiger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should date who ever you are attracted too, it should not matter. Why do you have to impress them? Everyone has a choice to make and if you love this guy, you should stay with him. I feel like the only reason you are thinking about leaving him is because of your family.
This man might be the one to treat you like a queen however, you get an hispanic man and he treats you like crap. I really hate these racists families and it needs to stop by being with this black man will show them that it is not about them it is about you. Live for you not them... (Good Luck)!!!!
2006-09-23 15:13:55 · answer #6 · answered by Vicky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends on how you feel... perhaps what it is about the black male is the fact that he is different from you some people like the interaicial thing because it mixes it up if you know what I mean?
sorry no time to joke, again though it depends on if you want your family to be an intricate part of the rest of your life? you are free to do what you want at the expense of others
I would say you want to keep the peace with your family because they love you and trust you and are afterall your family... find someone that will get along with everybody and then you will all be happy.. in the end it truely is your decision
If it were me I would and will keep the peace with my family and marry a whitey even though I have been attracted to other races
2006-09-23 15:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by Beano4aReason 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoa! Put the breaks on here. Back up. The first thing is don't lead someone on AND don't you or anyone in a relationship condone or put up with abuse either physical or verbal. Family tell them you love them and follow your heart. Times change as well as what is considered acceptable behavior. I know some cultures are more male dominated and others are religiously dominated. But with mutual respect this can be smoothed over. Next get over BLACK, WHITE, HISPANIC, NORWEGIAN, ASIAN, AND well you get my point. Look inside and trust your heart. see if this helps :
Three simple words
I love you
the faint smell of honeysuckle
summer of 79
I love you
The light of the moon
summer of 79
I love you
Her hair golden falls across her eyes
summer of 79
I love you
Sweat perfume sweater then honeysuckle
summer of 79
I love you
Her heart pounds sweat embrace
summer of 79
Three simple words
From the heart of a young girl
summer of 79
Three simple words
Quivered, her lips. Trembled her hands
summer of 79
I love you (TO)
three simple words
given to me so long ago
I had only to add one word
Frozen in fear young stupidity
summer of 79
Much to late
for fate waits for no one
summer of 79
I love you TO
But you may never know
Summer of 79 so long ago
Don't miss out on true love - regret is hard to live with
2006-09-23 16:06:37 · answer #8 · answered by Any Key! Push Me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I belong to a interracial family, his parents didn't like whites......his Grandmother loved me, and now so dose all of his family.
There are times when we are at a family gathering at his family, his father will start talking about white people. I will go "hey hey I'm right here" as I'm waving and poking my head over this rather large group.........He will say...... "you don't count, your more Mexican than I am" "And I don't mean hispanic, because we don't stand on that political correct crap, were Mexicans'" I respect him for his pride in who he is, and know that he really excepts people on thier merits and not on race. There is nothing my guys family would not do for me and my daughter!!
My Mother loved him!
My sister thinks hes Cheech, AR AR AR! The first time he met my family he did the " Shrimp on the Barbi" impression, I thought I was going to die! (of embarassment ) but it was a great ice breaker, my family loved him! Him and one of my brothers' sat up all night impersonating " Cheech and Chong" drove me nuts......but we all had never laughed so much.
He has helped me raise my daughter since she was 6, she loves him, infact last May he had to drive her ( by himself) back to my home state so she could start college, he stayed partly at my sister's home and part at my ex-husband's house they both spent a week fixing up a car for my daughter.
Go with your heart! If like most hispanic families that I know the closeness will overcome and they will love who you love!!
2006-09-23 15:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by pirate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you're feeling and no one wants to lose the love of their family. It's hard to go against your family to be with someone they don't like.But you and the guy having probelms and breaking up is only a temporary fix. What if you fall in love with another black man and he's the one? You have to weigh your options. Would you want to lose the love of your family of the love of your life. No one can make those decisions for you. You would have to do some deep soul searching to get an aswer for this one.
2006-09-23 15:16:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋