I have tried counseling (2 times), written love letters til my fingers are tired, bought flowers and candy, called fifteen times a day for no reason, "Talked to her about it" talked to her for that no demand crap... tried to just get away... tried helping out around the house more... bought her a nicer newer care, furniture and a brand new gun.. we already live in a 5 bdrm 3 bath house and she has more jewelry than Solomon did... if the problem is on my end.. then tell me what more I can do to make her horny... she is a homemaker I make all the money and I take an allowance every week she can have whatever she wants as far as getting it... it is not stress over bills.. (we do not owe a red nickel to anyone)... if you have no ideas how to make it better .... uuuuuhhhhhggggg I will take any suggestions but please do not be mean... I am 35 years old and I fear I will go blind. (ummm that last part was a joke..)
2006-09-23 15:02:10 · 26 answers · asked by 57chevy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Without hearing her side of the story, it's impossible to say what's going on. Could it be that while you've provided her with things, you haven't given her what that she needs the most -- your love, time, and attention?
Or maybe she's spoiled and used to being waited on and given everything she wants without any expectations. As someone else pointed out, she may have issues from a past experience, or for physical reasons, she simply doesn't like sex.
In any event, I suggest a marriage counselor ASAP. If you're frustrated and angry, it's going to start spilling over into your relationship with your wife and that'll make the situation even worse. A professional therapist can get to the heart of the issues and help you overcome them.
The best of luck to you and your wife. I hope things work out for you and your marriage.
2006-09-23 15:10:40 · answer #1 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was going to ask a very similar question. however, i am the " never gets horny housewife, or homemaker". i question why you felt that you had to declare yourself as the money maker and your wife a homemaker. I too have the same status as your wife, and frankly despise the title. well that is the way my husband seems to harp on the fact that i dont contribute to the household or in his mind , it is ever so slight. Now i don't know if you continously remind her who brings ALL the money, but if you do, that could be your problem. buying her everything under the sun, may actually annoy her. do you constantly remind her of everthing you have bought her. is everything yours or both of yours?
i know in my case, a simple acknowledgement that i am important and do contribute to the household, even if it is not with cash, would mean the world to me. i would take this over the monetary things i get in a minute.
im sorry i got off of your problem, but there is something that must be bothering your wife. the money issue might have something to do with it or maybe your wife is just not able to act the way you want her too. i know my husband constantly asks for wild sex and the more he asks, the madder i become. i feel extremely uncomfortable with my husbands demands and cannot do it and resent how he doesnt care about my view. once again, my opinion doesnt count. i'm sure that your situation is different and maybe something that i have said may help you. good luck.
2006-09-23 15:59:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to be mean. Counseling is an option. Maybe she is happy with you supporting her but she isn't happy with you. Could she be having an affair? I can tell you that once the trust in a marriage is broken the sex pretty much stops to, no matter how much time has passed or things you have given her. I say go to a counselor and whatever you do, don't bring sex up everyday or paw at her like a piece of meat or expect to get laid because you did something nice for her. She needs to realize your need and as a wife she should participate in that but if she wont them by a couple of videos and help yourself and if you can't live without sex and counseling doesn't worj then get a divorce and cruise the singles scene for exactly what you want!
2006-09-23 15:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by buttons799 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about you stop buting her things and do things that come from the heart that you have to put some thought into. since she at home all day i assume she does the cooking so why don't you cater to her for a day let her put her feet up and you cook her a meal maybe breakfast in bed or something all women dont a man to buy us things all the time and as far as getting her horny try taking care of her needs u can start with a nice bubble bath, then maybe a full body massage without using your hands and im pretty sure by then she will be in the mood
2006-09-23 15:26:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you went wrong when you bought her the brand new gun. Just kidding!) If she has lost interest, you are trying to hard and it seems to me like you seem desperate. If I were her, I think I would find all of these things you were doing to try to win me back pathetic. Maybe the best thing you can do at this point is to pull away, maybe even let her think that you are "getting it" somewhere else. If she still loves you and there is anything left, she will come after you. If not, as much as this might hurt, it may be time to move on.
2006-09-23 15:10:20 · answer #5 · answered by missbeehayv 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't she work? There is no reason why you should provide her with everything and still not have sexual relations in a marriage.
Maybe she really needs to get out of the house for a while and see that life isn't like the TV soap operas. Stop giving her everything. Make her earn her own way in life. She needs to grow up and see how good she has it.
If you have small children you can hire a sitter for the days she works. I was a mom who worked and went to school. I know I learned to appreciate the things in life more because I worked for them.
2006-09-23 15:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop buying her all that crap...that obviously isn't making her any happier. You are married to this woman...so why can't you just tell her were you are and what you want. But hey, being 35, you gotta realize it isn't all about you! Just because you get her all that stuff (a new gun wow I can't imagine why she didn't spread eagle over that one!)...anyway, it doesn't mean that you are fulfilling her emotional needs, etc. Spend some time asking her how her day was, give her a hug and a kiss when you see her ... make her feel just as important as you think you are...
2006-09-23 15:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by prrose99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, so listen. I'm in the same position, only I'm the wife. My husband gives me anything I want too, but I didn't want to do it either. I thought I'd lost my "drive". Then one night I caught my husband staring at me (really sweetly) and he kept telling me how beautiful I was, and how I made him a better person just by being there. This kept up most of the night, and by the time we got home there was no holding me back. Now he knows what he has to do. Try some intense woo-ing. Make her feel sexy and needed. Worth a try right?
2006-09-23 15:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by andi b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to stop begging. Its put out or get out time. She is running you in circles because she can. The problem is you giving and her taking. Put her perspective back on your side. Show her the man she needs to handle her. Tell her you are done. Do it your way or the party is over. MAN UP Take Over. Be the man OR be the mouse. Its up to you. Toss her butt to the street. She will be surprised and come crawling back or you get to find a woman who wants you.
Put a stop to this or that blind thing will not be a joke. Not that it is now.
2006-09-23 15:40:04 · answer #9 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds pretty spoiled,has everything she wants,its like a child when the father dont spend time with them but they buy them all they want but have no time with the child quality time,that seems to be missing,I think on my part anyway,you cant really make anyone horny for you it should come naturally,you didnt mention how long you been married or if you have kids,but sometimes after so any years of marriage one or the other tires out n that department,you need to talk to her and see whats the problem.
2006-09-23 15:45:59 · answer #10 · answered by alwayssmiling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋