tell your wife you want a divorce.i feel that our marriage was over 3 yrs ago. because she got to where she did not want me to touch her in any way whether it be romantically or just show her i cared.i really want it to be over but don't know exactly how to get it started.
serious answers only please
2006-09-23 14:22:43 · 21 answers · asked by wantachevy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just do it and be sincere about it. Don't beat around the bush. Tell her your concerns in your marriage and you just feel it is over. She has told you that she doesn't want you to touch her so tell her that you want more in your marriage. Good luck. Sam
2006-09-23 14:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by ?Shannan? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your marriage has lasted for 22 years, you must have done something right!! Ask your wife to talk to you. Tell her that you are seriously considering divorcing but before you do, you need to understand what has happened to your relationship.
One thing I know is that after so much time together, we lose sight of the person that we fell in love with. Everyday life just seems to "dull" the senses and things become so common with eachother that we forget why we committed out lives to eachother in the first place!.
Many times we may feel that the marriage has lived out its life, and that it is time to find love with other people. But this is not the answer.
If the two of you still care very deeply for eachother, although on the surface it does not appear that way, it is time to start to look at things differently with eachother!!
Look at your life together to this point as the first 1/2 of your marriage...if your initial committment to eachother lasted for 22 years you have already beat incredible odds!!!
You don't have to be wealthy to seek a marriage counselor, you just have to want to be in love with your partner again! At this point the second half of your marriage begins!
In the second half of your marriage, communication will be the key to the two of you coming to truly know eachother... this time you will listen to eachother's voices...not your own! The two of you will come to discover that you have an added bonus which will allow this time to be better than anything you could ever want in a relationship. This being that you have a history together...the results...the love is deeper, the understanding is deeper, and your committment is renewed with a true sense of knowing and choosing to be with eachother again.
With this renewed committment, you should take your wedding vows again. The second half of your marriage will be much more rewarding than the first half, and will surely last the rest of your lifetime.
Good Luck to you, and may God bless your union!
2006-09-23 15:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by Linda S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't think of any way short of telling her. When you are getting a divorce, it's really hard whether you want it or not. Even if you are escaping a horrible marriage, you still grieve for what you had hoped your marriage would be. It's tough but I suppose it's tougher staying in a loveless marriage. Good luck to you!
P.S. Has your wife seen a doctor and had her hormones checked? Maybe you might focus on why she got so turned off suddenly. You haven't talked about this in three years?
2006-09-23 14:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by MissHazel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
22 years is a long time to throw away. I would try to make every effort to make it work. A relationship works both way, it takes effort ( after 22 years you probably already know this). If your wife does not want you to touch her, either physically or emotionally, the question beggs to ask if maybe their was something you did to provoke that state. Only because women usually need to be in touch with thier emotions before any physical interaction takes place. Try to reach her mind, let her vent, women NEED to talk. Otherwise, maybe thinking about the sitation differenlty would help you to express your feelings to seek a solution before asking for a divorce "change the way you look at things and the things you look at change"
Either way, I wish you a positive solution for both you and your wife.
2006-09-23 14:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by T Kirk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are that she probably feels the same way if she hasn't wanted to be intimate with you or be romatic with you. Have you considered counseling? There may be some underlying issues that you might be able to work out before divorce.
Have an honest conversation with her - tell her how you are feeling and that you are considering divorce because of your feelings. Bring up counseling and see if she is willing to try it. If not, suggest a trial separation to see if divorce is really the right thing. She may open up and talk with to you about why she has withdrawn from you and why she isn't romantic with you anymore.
2006-09-23 14:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by lonely_girl3_98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my best bet tells me that you want to keep this relationship going. If the touching has left, hows the communtication with your wife? Are you guys still talking? If not, thats the beginning. Start from there, if talking about your feelings isn't your thing, you better believe that it is now. If you want to continue another 22 years of something beautiful with your wife. Then tell her how you feel and that life without her will be lost. ..but if I'm wrong and you want tell your wife that its over. communication is the key in any relationship. Just tell her how you feel...Best of luck to you both.
2006-09-23 14:31:23 · answer #6 · answered by deais74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not hard,buddy - especially if YOU WANT IT TO BE OVER!! It's this simple : Tell her that you want out. Life is way too short to feel unloved in an ongoing relationship. Decide how to divide what you have acquired together, and just GO! I did this with my first wife. Left her with the house I built,all the furnishings, everything! Took my clothes, my truck and hit the road. Go find yourself,man. Figure out what YOU want for a change, and go for it.
2006-09-23 14:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by Darryl L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell her...Does she have any medical problem that may effect her sex drive or is she going through menopause???
What you need to do is secure another place to live and file papers with the court. With you being married 22 years i suggest you hire a lawyer, because you will after that long of a time have to pay alimony and if you have children under 18 child support...
2006-09-23 14:48:28 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's sad but if you have tried all ways and she wont work on it with you then leave ,you have a right to happiness and affection ,its not easy but you basically just tell her ,and have a plan of were to go ext ,do you have kids at home ,you need to talk to them and explain and make plans to see them ,Its right to sort this out before you find some one else ,so many men when they are unhappy just cheat and use that as an excuse to leave ,you are being honest and that's a good thing ,she may be pissed but you need to do what is best for you too.If you are well off ,see a lawyer before you tell her but be fair in the settlement.
2006-09-23 15:35:04 · answer #9 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it. Call a lawyer and have the papers written up with all the preliminary info like who gets what etc. and just give them to her. Tell her that you will always love her because of the time you have been together but you just can't be married to her anymore and that you are tired of living like this. Trust me, she knows it's been over for the past 3 years, she has just been waiting for you to make it official!
2006-09-23 15:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by buttons799 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has not wanted you to touch her in any way for a long time, then she probably feels the same way you do. You should just tell her exactly how you feel and don't go around it because the longer you take, the harder it's going to be for you.
2006-09-23 14:33:38 · answer #11 · answered by ur_strange2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋