why am i so uncomfortable with this?

Question

my b/f just recently started kissing more indepth, french and lying on couch groping. i am very fat and uncomfortable with my weight and everything about the way i look, im 14, 5'4" and i weigh 127.when he starts reaching his hand up my shirt and touching my stomach area i get really insecure. hes not pressuring me at all about it. i love the fact that we've got this close. but i just dont feel secure with my own body and dont like him touching my fat body. hes so sweet about it to, when i explain to him why i want to stop hes so understanding. he ells me he loves everything about me and would never wan to change me and he tries to tell me hes fatter than ill ever be and hes not, maybe he has a little extra in the tummy area, but like only a pound or two, but hes perfect to me. why am i so uncomfortable with this?

Answer 1

You are probably like a lot of women I know who look in the mirror and tell themselves that they are fat and disgusting and that they need to do something about it, no matter how truly beautiful they really are, they never seem to see it in themselves. Stop telling yourself you are fat, you are not fat, at 5' 4" and 127, that is not fat. When you look in the mirror, I dont want you telling yourself anything negative, only tell yourself the positive. Your man loves you the way you are, dont let a negative self image stop you from having a relationship.

Answer 2

Is your weight really the issue here? You are only 14 years old and I think you know that you dont feel comfortable with going any further than kissing at this stage. By all means if you feel uncomfortable with your weight then get your doctor to put you on a diet program and start exercising. Regardless of the situation with your boyfriend feeling comfortable in your body is important. You need to step back a bit from this situation until you feel comfortable to move forward. At 14 you have your whole life ahead of you and should make your first sexual experience one to remember. This most probably wont happen at the age of 14 so go slow.

Answer 3

A couple of things: first of all, it doesn't sound like your weight is too much for your height. Girls your age always seem to become overly concerned with weight. Remember that models are skinny and real women/girls shouldn't try to emulate models' appearances.

Secondly, if you continue to allow your boyfriend to get this close, you may have more to worry about than your weight. Be careful about getting too hot and heavy in the physical department, if you understand my meaning. At your age, kissing is about all you should be doing.

Sorry to sound like I'm lecturing, but concentrate on school and don't let your "closeness" with your bf get out of hand. You will only regret it.

Answer 4

You are not fat! where did you get the idea you were? Never mind. you've been reading fashion mags that tell you that you should be a size. 2 Newsflash, to fit into a size2, you should be 4'8" , even in American sizing where the sizes are off by 1 or 2 sizes. people who are built like models are seriously underweight and havelots of health problems. Do you know that Jenn Aniston can't have babies because she is too thin?

Answer 5

It's normal to feel uncomfortable with your body. Since your still in your teens, I'd suggest you talk to your pediatrician to help you learn how to manage your weight (the healthy and safe way). Maybe you can speak with a school counseler or nurse to help you develop your self esteem. You don't have to drop a whole bunch of pounds to be happy. Think about the special person you are and feel good with yourself.

Trust me, your still very young and as the years go by you'll learn to love yourself more for who you are.

Answer 6

127 isnt fat. its a little overweight but not by much. ur insecure with ur body and u dont want him to notice the parts of u that u dont like. if u arnt comfortable u could start exersizing a little. but dont think ur fat. if its that big of a deal then try to loose that extra weight and ull feel more comfortable around ur boyfriend

Answer 7

Well you sure mix in a few loaded questions in one! Regarding body image - all I could suggest is that you see a counselor. Your height and weight do not make you obese. According to the BMI - you are totally average for weight relative to your height. Congratulations on finding a kind, patient and communicative boyfriend.

Answer 8

First you are not fat that is an ideal weight for someone of your height. Quit feeling so insecure about yourself and enjoy the fact that you actually have a guy that shows you affection.

Answer 9

Yes, you are quite strange. I can't believe you think 127 is fat... so, do you WANT to be one of those 54 lb anorexics? I'm around your height, and I KNOW I weigh more than that, and I'm definitely not fat; I'm athletic... so gain some self-confidence, and don't let him touch you if you're so uncomfortable with it. You're only 14... geez...

Answer 10

According to the Weight Chart I got in Health last year, you are actually at a healthy weight. Maybe you just aren't comfortable at the level you guys are at, but in any case, maybe you guys could go for a walk and stuff that way you feel more comfortable with yourself, and your still spending time with him. It sounds like your boyfriend is a great guy so i'm sure he won't mind spending a couple days a week walking with his girlfriend who he finds beautiful. He sounds like he loves you a lot, but in order for you to love him back you have to love yourself first. And he is perfect to you so what does it matter right, and you are perfect to him.....so see nothing to worry about. need to talk e-mail me through yahoo answers.

Advice:

Have confidence in yourself.

Don't worry about your body.

Who cares what other people think!

Love yourself the way you are.

If you aren't comfortable with your body then work on it for yourself, by exercising and watching what you eat, but still eat every 3-5 hours to keep your metabolism going.

if you need to talk e-mail me through yahoo answers.