Have a baby or go to law school?

Question

I'm thinking of going to law school. I've been married almost 3 years and me and my husband are 26 (me) and 31 (him). Law school would take 3 years and after that I'd be working pretty tough hours. I wouldn't want to have a baby and be an attorney (we both agree I should be a SAHM *if* we ever have a child). I guess I could go to law school, work a few years, and retire at 40 to have a baby (I don't care about it being biological, but my husband would prefer biological). Or I could have a baby now and make SAHM my career. I see advantages to each. We live off one income now and have no problem saving a few thou each month, and we have good retirement savings. We would need a new house, which would be tough in this market. And there's no garantee I'd enjoy being a mother and I kind of hate the idea of being pregnant. I'm leaning toward law school. My husband would like a baby, but can see the advantages of not having one and supports me no matter what. Advice?

Answer 1

Go to law school.If for some reason your marriage doesnt work out you will be glad you have your education.Why dont you go to lawschool to fulfill your dream then have a baby.that way if your husband became disabled your family would still have an income.You dont have to be a lawyer but you will have the education if your family needs you to be employed. So you can still be a SAHM but you will be really smart be able to answer all your freinds legal questions! Its called having a backup plan.

Answer 2

You have to do what is going to make you happy, if a child isn't what you really want and it doesn't make a difference either way to your husband then don't have one.

If you think you might want one later down the road, it sounds to me like you will be able to afford all the testing available to pick and choose which egg you want to use to ensure a healthy baby of your own biological doing. Even if you didn't want to go through the expense having a baby at 40 doesn't have that much risk. I am 41 and about to give birth to my 5th child. So far she is developing for normal. We'll see in about 6 weeks.

If you bring a baby into your life and you don't find it satisfying to be a stay home mother you may end up inadvertantly taking it out on the child or your husband. Not every woman is meant to be a mother and there isn't anything wrong with that.

However, if you really want to be an attorney and you still want to be a mother you could always consider private practice so you don't have to take on too many cases so you can still be there when your child needs you the most. It sounds like your husband makes a good enough living so it just depends on what motivates you the most. Where there is a will there is a way.

Until this past year I have been a single mother for the previous 5 years. I have been going to college and working and raising my 9 yo son at home. It has been tough but if you want something bad enough you will find a way to make it happen.

Answer 3

There are certain sacrifices to be made here. In my opinion you should either have a baby or go to law school. You really need to explore whether or not you and your husband want children. Since you are still so young, you can go to law school now, work for a few years then see about having a child. Your biological clock isn't ticking so you still have lots of time.
If you really want to be a lawyer, then go for it! It sounds like you realize how difficult it would be for you in the workplace when you do decide to have a child. Law is a male centered profession and many partnerships don't want to invest their time in a female because they figure that she'll just stop working after she gets pregnant. As long as you're going in with your eyes wide open, you'll do fine.
SAHM as a career is nothing to shake a stick at...but is this what you really want? Will you feel fulfilled? As long as you're okay with this then you can take this route too.
Sorry I don't have a cut and dry answer for you...I guess what I'm trying to say is "Do what will make you happy".
Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

Wow, both of your choices are life altering, each with their own separate pros and cons. I agree with the fact that after completing law school, it will be difficult to raise a child because the hours of work would be completely crazy. Nothing in life is a guarantee, but who knows, you might actually love being a mother to be, although from your question, you seem already career oriented and not so keen about being pregnant (which I think is a beautiful thing, but not for me yet). Is there another profession that you would consider instead of going to Law school, that perhaps is not as demanding, so in case that you ever do get pregnant, there is still time to raise a child at home? I wish you the best of luck in whichever choice you decide is better for you.

Answer 5

You need to follow what you want to do. My life experiences have taught me that there will always be choices to make in life. Some bigger than others. You could choose to follow your career and become very successful & then 10 years down the road you may be asking yourself "What if...?" Should you choose to have a child, I can guarantee to you that you will never ask yourself that same question. Even though I endured a heart wrenching abusive relationship with my ex, I have to say that I would never change a thing. I never would have ended up with the 2 beautiful daughters that I have today. Everything happens for a reason and there are some things in life that you will never regret doing. Children are one of those miracles.

Answer 6

There's no guarantee you'd enjoy being a lawyer, but if you have a thought that you might not enjoy being a mom, I don't think you're ready. I didn't want to be a mom at your age, but by the time my sis had her babies a few years later, I was very much wanting to be a mom and KNEW i would love being a mom.

I think if you go to law school, your peers will be people who have great disdain for SAHMothering. Are you strong enough of a person to choose your own way despite the message that you'll be wasting your mind and skills if you choose to parent your own child? If so, and being a lawyer is interesting to you, go for it.

Since you have the luxury of choosing a school and profession, is lawyer the one you really want? You could be a gardner, history professor, chef, anything, right!

Answer 7

Law school first, baby later. Or you will never get to law school. What if the baby has problems? What if something happens to you during the pregnancy? Law school first, baby later!
If you have the baby after law school, you will be able to afford a Nanny!

See! A no brainer! Good luck with your problem.

Answer 8

WELL, IT JUST SEEMS THAT YOU NEED TO GET YOUR PRIORITIES TOGETHER...FAMILY OR CAREER...NOBODY CAN MAKE THAT DECISION BUT YOU. IF IT WERE ME AND MY HUSBAND AND I COULD LIVE OFF OF ONE INCOME, I'D OPT TO HAVE THE BABY... THAT IS, PROVIDING THAT YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD, STABLE RELATIONSHIP, BUT DON'T HAVE THE CHILD IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS ON THE ROCKS...IT'LL MAKE IT 50 MILLION TIMES WORSE.

Answer 9

You need to do what your heart is telling you to do.

Answer 10

clock IS tickin better do what makes u happy