Help! My husband says I'm useless and a mooch?

Question

I'm a stay at home mom and do all the cooking and cleaning shopping laundry and take care of my son. When money is tight my husband always tells me I'm useless and a mooch and don't contribute. Is anyone one else going through this too?

r_g what do you except myself and your wife to do about your so called mooching?

Answer 1

Your contribution is to take care of your children, cook, clean and provide sex for him. What does he mean by mooching? He is the one who is mooching. He gets free sex, free child care, free cook, free cleaner and the prestige of having a wife. What does he give you in return?...a home perhaps and not much more. No appreciation, no love, no romance, no holiday, no gifts and no affection or respect. He is the useless one. Other husbands can afford to buy flowers, jewelry and lots of stuffs for their wives but he can't. He is the real loser. He knows how to receive but doesn't or can't give much in return. He's not as capable as other husbands and he knows it, but he refuses to see his shortcomings but instead lays the blame on you. It makes him feel big by making you feel small. By putting you down, it lifts him up. What a loser.

Answer 2

The guy needs to wake up and open his eye's.
he might bring home the money but taking care of him and a child is also a full time job except you are not getting paid for it so i would say he is a mooch!
I'd ask him what he would rather have. you getting a job and hire a babysitter were he would have to pay anywhere from 60.00 to 120.00 dollars a week in child care, and also maybe not have a clean house and a home cooked meal because you also now work and am tired to do all those things you did before. or stay home and see what he Say's to that.
personally i think any man that tell his wife she is useless needs a good butt kicking.

Answer 3

Your husband is ridiculous. You are raising his son, cleaning the house, cooking, and doing all those chores and errands that he doesn't wanna have to deal with. Usually when men get frustrated and money is tight they will say things that they don't mean because they are frustrated they aren't making more money. If he keeps up with it, then sit down with him and ask him if he really wants you to work. He should consider that daycare will cost about $150-200 a week - which would basically be a large portion of whatever you would make per month at a part time or entry level job, so it would almost be stupid for you to work until your son can go to school.

Answer 4

Ok...so think of this way. Your husband works every single day and every two weeks, probably within a matter of days, bills have to be paid, groceries have to be bought, etc., and then you're both essentially broke and recycling bottles for the next two weeks. Maybe an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. He also has a wife & son to support and wishes he could do more financially in terms of vacations, toys, going out to eat more often, etc. Then he comes home and within a minute of hitting the door from an 8+ hour workday the baby is in his hands and he's listening to you go on about whatever it is little Johnny did today, how we need more diapers or things for the baby, etc....

Point is, it's VERY stressfull having to provide for a family & knowing that you're 2 paychecks away from being homeless. Is it right for him to take it out on you, no. I know I tease my wife all the time about her taking all of my money and I'm left with $20 for the week, but the truth is that I know it's going towards bills, groceries, etc. And yes, I'm very familiar with the stay-at-home mom's day since I have the privlege of working from home and seeing what she goes through.

The point is, he shouldn't take it out on you, but sometimes we do it even when we don't realize it. Be patient, make it clear that you are contributing, and ask him how much it would cost to hire a maid, a nanny, & a cook to replace you. All stay-at-home mom's go through this with their husbands at one time or another...

Good luck...

Answer 5

honey, i went through it for 26 years, now that the kids are all grown and gone, he still tells me that, i try to work, but with no job skills, because i was a stay at home mom, no one wants to hire me. take my advice , it won't and doesn't get any better , only worse, get out while you still can, either that or find a sitter and get a job. also tell the idiot you married that you cook , clean, do laundry, dishes, change diapers, feed, and care for a baby, what he doesn't realize is that a mothers job is 24/7, not 9 to 5 five days a week. so tell him to trade you places. or yet on one of his days off from work. let him be the mom for 24 hours. then see what he has to say about it. good luck

Answer 6

I'd say if you are the one taking care of the house then you are contributing quite a bit. When your hubby gets in a snit like that remind him of all you do and tell him if he'd like you to get a job, that'd be fine, but you all will be splitting all household jobs that you were doing previously because you won't be able to handle them all while you're "contributing".

Answer 7

I'll bet a lot of women are, especially with insensitive men who, while some are working hard, are still not recognizing the work women do at home. The important thing is to try to be patient and understanding with him, and have supper ready for him when he gets home, the house clean, and maybe not sitting watching tv as he arrives. Good luck!

Answer 8

Don't allow him to say these things to you, let him know it's not acceptable, or else the verbal junk will get worse as time goes on. Fact is you're doing the best thing for your son and for your family, and you don't deserve this kind of treatment, but you need to know it too. Don't allow him to do it, especially if your son hears or sees it, he is learning how to treat women right now.

Answer 9

He is being very disrespectful. Calmly tell him that you feel disrespected.

When he continues, get an estimate from a maid service, nanny, and grocery delivery service. Show him how much what you're doing costs.

If he still doesn't get it. Get yourself to therapy so you can find more tools to work this out.

Answer 10

So stop cleaning, cooking and doing his laundry. You are employed, it's a severely underpaid position that he couldn't and wouldn't do.

Your kids come first, him second. This from a father of six who worked two jobs most of his life when the kids were home. I would do it again in a heartbeat.