i believe that i am having an emotional afair,how can i forget about him?

Question

i try to stay away, not talking to him, i try not responding to his messeges and phonecalls, but is like the more i try to stay away from him, the more i want to be with him.and i cant stop thinking about him.i have lost interest in my spouse.but i tried to tell him i was lonely,and needed him around more often.but instead he just told me to stop taking his time,wich he use to record and write music.and out of nowhere he came into the picture.i wasnt even in the chat room i was just listening to yahoo music.and he said hi.and i thought why not, and ever since we just talk everyday,its been a long time and i kept trying with my husband but he rather spend time writing and recording than just sit down and ask me how was my day at work, or just talk period.and still trying but i feel like if i am begging him and have stopped asking him for anything.now i have lost interest in him.hes a stranger for me.

Answer 1

Oh my! I am having this same situation happening to me. To make a long story short. I have been married to my husband for seven years and our marriage has just went sour. Recently, I have had this overwhelming feeling of loneliness after he told me he loved me but he wasn't in love with me. While I was working, I met this guy who was so sweet to me that he could be the dream guy for any woman. I have been talking to him and seeing him on the low for months and to be honest with you it is great being with him to the point that I don't want to even come home. The only reason that I have not left my spouse because I was trying to work on our relationship before I met this other guy but after no response, I lost interest in my spouse. My husband is a great guy but there is no connection for him and me any more. The other guy has expressed feelings for me and sometimes we connect on every level. Basically, I am telling you this. If you love your husband enough, you will do what is right for your marriage. This just doesn't mean that you should work it out but if you love him enough you should let him go. Persue what will make you happy. No one should have to suffer just to say that they made their marriage work.

Answer 2

Your relationship with your husband is in serious danger. You, right now do not have open communication with him. That is a big no no. It is important for you to be blunt with him, b/c many men find it hard to 'read between the lines'. When you tell him you're lonely, he doesn't hear "I'm scared I might cheat on you b/c we don't know each other anymore." He hears "I'm lonely". There is obviously a huge difference.
I would start off by telling him that you have to have a very serious talk, and it only has to last as long as you need to get off your chest what you need. This way, he can put aside 'time' to talk (if it's that big of an issue). (<---This should be something you talk to him about 'time'.)
As silly as it sounds, have a list ready. Very bullet point kind of list. ex. -I don't know you anymore. -I miss spending alone time with you doing ... -I'm scared that I'm not in love with you anymore. -I am emotionally cheating on you.

Be prepared b/c this will hit him like a ton of bricks. Remember it's ok to have these feelings. And remind him that you are telling him this b/c you want to have a fulfilling relationship with him. Avoid the 'You're not' and 'You can't', it's all about you and what you aren't doing for him and your relationship.

Answer 3

I'm in the same situation, My wife found out about the other girl. Nothing but talk happened. Just be prepared for it. I hurt my wife, now she cant trust me. I stopped talking to the other lady but I think about her all the time. That's not fair to your spouse. if there is any chance to stay with your husband try. If you think its over then move on.
If you want his attention, try a sexy game. Or just tell him you have been thinking about seperating with him. That should get his attention. Good luck sweety.

Answer 4

Let me tell you my story because it is similar to your. I am a man and had emotional affairs with various women because I wanted something prettier, not bi-polar or depressed, not nagging and someone who didn't want to kill herself and call me late at night while I was at work. I lost interest in her and missed all the ways that she showed love and missed all the other special things about her and focused on her inadequacies and I did not know where to go or whom to turn to and even if I did, I didn't know if I could really trust a marriage counselor.

Eventually, even though I loved her she ended up cheating on me and finding another man because I couldn't give her the special attention she needed. After 2 years of being split up, I am hoping that we can patch it up, but at this point it still looks hopeless. She is out right now, partying, screwing....hell, I don't know what she is doing. I don't want to know. If I try to move on she chases me down and ruins any hope that I might have and breaks up my friendships that are supporting me. I eventually, sucker up to her because I am a sucker for her. I am losing this battle to say alive and right now, I am almost a broken man because I gave it one helluva shot.

So, how can you forget about him? Maybe you shouldn't forget him. I don't know ur situation, but I do know that you shouldn't miss the way that he does show love. Find out he shows love and have sex with that, and vice versa too.

Answer 5

Tell your hubby another man is showing interest in you and what is he going to do about it?

Answer 6

It sounds like you and your hubby need to find a hobby together!

Answer 7

I would recommend you show him this question. the man needs a wake up call

Answer 8

avoid being in touch, get busy, cook, go for a walk, do the gym, read, put your mind into something different!!!!!

Answer 9

Move physically away from him.