My husband is a builder, all of the assets are in his name. He has been emotionally abusive for several years. I have nothing but my car and my children. I have no where to live or work.
I don't know what the next step in the process is.
2006-09-23 09:23:18 · 19 answers · asked by KAL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have several options open to you. Go to your local social services office and apply for aid to families with dependent children. Next find you local Legal Aid office and file for divorce. Third I would recommend you get some kind of education you should be able to receive a pell grant to a local community college it will help your self esteem and set a good example for your children's future. You may be able to find a local support group that will give you someplace to vocalize your feelings. Good luck its hard I know I have been there but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am now a college grad and have 2 well adjusted children.
2006-09-23 09:38:39 · answer #1 · answered by osu_fan_stuck_in_tide_country 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to social services and ask for subsidized housing. Apply for WIC, food stamps, child care subsidies, and child support. File for child support IMMEDIATELY as it is retroactive to the date you filed. Apply at your community action agency for emergency food and clothing. See if there is a Catholic Charities that can help you if you need car maintenence. Since you can use the computer, go to your state Department of Labor site and check out the employment listings. Apply for free lunches at school and place your child in the after school program, especially if they provide dinner. Notify the school of this change in situation.
Contact your closest friend and ask for help. If nothing else you need the emotional support. Contact your family and let them know the steps you are taking and ask for help. Try to keep your 10 year old in as regular a routine as possible. This child will determine how the others react towards this situation. When you ask family and friends for help see if they can let you get some rest. You need time to recover from all the stress so that you can go about the monumental task of being a single mom. Contact legal services and ask if they can assign a lawyer for your divorce. You are legally entitled to half of the marital assets. Recieving these funds will relieve a lot of the stress you are feeling right now. Try to compile a complete list of the assets acquired during the marriage. Also, if you are living in the car Red Cross or social services may be able to place you in a shelter until things work themselves out.
2006-09-23 09:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you not have access to any monies at all? You don't have your own checkbook? If not, and I know this is the case for many women who are with control freaks, then you need to see if it will be possible to stay with relatives for awhile. Are your parents still living? If so, see if you can stay with them or possibly a sibling or friend?
After you get the shelter taken care of, Monday go down to the Department of Human Services in your area and sign up for AFDC, food stamps and Medicaid. This will take the pressure off until you can get things sorted out as far as employment and your own shelter goes.
If you are sure you want a divorce, get a lawyer and file the petition. You will probably need a lawyer because there is child custody and visitation issues, plus child support issues to work out with the ex.
All of that is enough to worry about right now. You will need time to pass for awhile so you can get your head and heart in a new place and calm down. In a few months you will need to decide what you want to do from now on so you won't be put back into a position of having to rely on the good graces of another person to support you. Consider going to work or better yet, going to school so you can get a vocation or trade. This is the only way to truly be your own person in the long run.
It will be tough while you are in school, but the advantages of an education far outweigh the temporary hardship one goes through to get it.
I hope all goes well for you and things work out for the best.
Good luck
2006-09-23 09:36:22 · answer #3 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe family or a close friend can help for the weekend. contact the police dept for shelter for abused families or emergency DHS Services, larger cities have shelters you may can go to for the weekend if you cant get into an abused family shelter, Monday apply for Tanf ( welfare benefits) food stamps. medicaid. Apply for emergency housing with apts based on income, ie thru housing authorities. Contact legal aide or your attorney. obtain a divorce and have your temp custody set during time pending divorce. Many attorneys have a free 1st visit If you have access to the bank account get money out. use your debit card, cash a check
2006-09-23 10:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already did the hardest part and that was leaving.... if you have family that can help that's good if not check around in your town there should be some sort of family shelter...If you're gonna get a divorce file the paperwork as soon as you can and ask for child support, if you dont have any prenups ask for half. You're kids will be okay just keep trying to keep them in school and doing your normal stuff as much as possible. It does get easier even though its hard and scary...Take care and hang in there..
2006-09-23 09:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by sheri h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local womans help groups or church for temp help. Then file for divorce with a restraining order against him just in case. Chances are you will be awarded custody of the children with support, the house, and possible spousal support. He will probably get your states mandated visitation rights but you can request they be supervised if in the best interest of the kids. The help groups will help you thru all this, but will probably put you in to hiding so your husband wont find you guys for your safety. Good luck
2006-09-23 09:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been exactly there,hun. Go to the YWCA. They give you a place to live for 6 weeks. You get on Food Stamps. It really is a great & helpful place to know is there. It's kinda like a hotel-just obviously not quiet as nice. It will work out. It may be at the last minute (like with me) but it will be fine. Good Luck & good for you for leaving him. Don't let him bully you back just because you think you have no choice. email me if you want.
2006-09-23 10:27:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last thing you want to do is be on the computer. You have work to do. Roll up your sleeves, put your children first and take care of business. You put your children after your car, while saying you have nothing. If you don't get it together it's the children who have nothing. They did not ask to be in this situation, but you did as an adult. To quote Christopher Reeve while he was paralized, he told himself to "get over it".
2006-09-23 10:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
think before you act. measure twice, cut once. why didnt you think of this before you left? you should have at least arranged a few things before running off. he may have lost his feelings for you, but those are still his kids. he may still be willing to help out with the kids. if not, go to court to get child support. it doesnt matter in whose name the assets are. if you were legally married, you legally get 50% of all assets. if you dont know the legal stuff, get a lawyer, but you really dont need one. look in the local yellow pages. they have all kinds of resources help hotlines.
2006-09-23 10:27:31 · answer #9 · answered by coffeebabyea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would have been better if you had Plan A instead of putting yourself and children out there with no where to go. Is there a friend or relative you can stay with temporarily? There are also homeless shelters.
2006-09-23 09:44:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋