I have three young boys, the two older ones (aged 6 and 4) came home from school yesterday saying they'd both been in fights with other boys in their classes who'd pushed them around.
Now, my parents always told me when I was a kid that violence never solves anything, and to go to the teacher if I'm bullied. Now the few times that I did fight back against bullies, it was really effective and they never bothered me again. If I went to the teacher instead I'd get picked on worse later.
I wish my parents had told me that it was ok to fight back sometimes, I think I'd have got more respect in school.
At the moment I tell my boys that it's ok to fight back against other boys who push them around, but to go to the teacher as well. Do people think this approach is right? I don't want my kids to become bullies themselves.
2006-09-23 09:13:35 · 13 answers · asked by pantocool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's a really loaded question.
First off, children should NOT be taught that violence solves ALL problems, but that they do need to defend themselves.
Otherwise they're just doormats for eveyone to walk on.
2006-09-23 09:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was not taught to defend myself and ended up being bullied as a result so cannot recommend that as a course of action. I was raised to respect other people and was amazed when I discovered at school that some people apparently raise their kids to be violent little shits ! However this unfortunately a fact of life and you are right to be considering how best to prepare your child against it. From my viewpoint, given what happened to me, I will be telling my children to stand up to the bullies but to do so in a non violent way, otherwise they would be no better than the person doing the bullying. Quite how they should go about this is something I have not worked out yet. But I suspect that simply standing up to someone verbally may often be enough. Or maybe I am just naive.
2016-03-18 00:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem, my wee boy was getting bullied and told the school who in my eyes did nothing after 2 boy jumped on him when he left school and stole sweets from him i went to the police who said there wasn't much they could do as they were only 7 at the time. So i told my son to hit back which resulted in him getting detention when i complained to the school who said the don't teach the kids to hit back but i continued to tell my son to hit back. The bullies soon left him alone when they realised that he wasn't going to stand back and let them bullie him, so yes i say hit back as the bullies will think your sons are easy targets if they don't
2006-09-23 09:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by sexyass 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My six year old knows that it is not ok to go around hitting people but also it is not ok to be hit by other people - he seems happy with this advice although has stated he would rather push someone down than hit them. Last year he was upset by things older children were saying to him and after telling the teachers a number of times, he stood up for himself and told them to leave him alone and the taunts stopped - I was so proud
2006-09-23 21:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question. Anything to do with children or any individual never has a black or white answer. Sometimes it's one way, then it can be the other. Teaching your kids that they have to explore both options is the best that you can do. Guiding them to consider choices and outcomes is making you as good a parent as any of us can hope to be.
2006-09-25 03:05:33 · answer #5 · answered by GWEN C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if were you i would send them to karate lessons...or thai quando (Sorry I don't know how to spell that :) ) or one of those sports which teaches you how to defend yourself, but not start fights....I'm not too sure about these sports but I'm pretty sure the whole teaching is about self defence. This would be a good way for your kids to get tough but to still keep the belief that fighting is wrong except when you have to defend yourself. I would imagine it would give them tonnes of confidence too! :)
2006-09-23 09:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by wicca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would just explain to them that fighting is never a good thing, but being bullied is worst. Let them know that coming home saying someone pushed them around is not exceptable. I am a firm believer in peace, but i disagree completley with turning the other cheek. Just let them know by no whay is being bullied exceptable.
2006-09-23 09:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by BigDanEaglesFan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid i'd advise them to fight their corner, neither teachers nor parents have the authority to control these situations anymore. The school used to resolve bullying by the humiliation of the cane, now you have to stick up for yourself
2006-09-23 09:55:24 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they should try to resolve it in a non violent way and I'm sorry but it seems a waste of time them going to the teachers because nothing seems to get done as a last resort they should defend themselves
2006-09-23 10:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by browntbath 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i will tell u what i have told my daughter don't start a fight but dont ever walk away from one that some one starts with you ,this because if you do not stand up for your self you will be pushed around aways in this day and age kids say and do many wrong things so a kid has to stand his/her ground
2006-09-23 09:20:09 · answer #10 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋