I have an angry teenager. Of course, he is angry because he is a teenager, but he is also angry because of his dad (being an alcoholic and depressed, and divorced from us, and currently in a homeless shelter). He is a Senior this year, and he hates school, does not want to wake up in the morning, has been late 5 times this year, and announced he does not want to graduate. Not only does he not want to go through the graduation ceremony, but it looks like he will not have the credits this year anyway. He is angry all of the time, mostly with me. Why? I am not really sure aside from the fact that I want him to be successful with his life and he is blowing a lot of it off. He is not working, either and depends on me for all monies. I have him in therapy, but he wants to quit. I get him to go by saying I will take the car back if he doesn't. I am trying to relax, but feel like crying. I have a tough time being an assertive mom, and I am very tense. Any advice....
2006-09-23 08:50:21 · 4 answers · asked by anny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
stay away from him, its impossible to change an angry teen, unless he gets help
2006-09-23 08:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by Henry_Tee 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your son's struggle. The father's role-modeling is so important, and he's taught your son NOT to care about himself.
He is angry with you because you are safe. He can share all those feelings with you and you will still love him. (No good deed goes unpunished!_ But, of course, you must be his rock. One day, if he gets himself on track, all this pain will be repaid and your suffering will have been a second set of birth pangs for him.
I wouldn't give him money for anything. I would encourage him to homeschool, to take responsibility for himself, to take the GED, maybe.
Ask him what his plan is and how he wants to handle things. Is he on anti-depressants because he sounds depressed big time. Does he want to quit therapy because the counselor is an idiot? Unfortunately, so many of them are - the stories my friends tell are shocking. A lot of the therapists don't have a clue about kids.
He goes to therapy for the car - well, that's hopeful in that it shows there are still things that motivate him. What else motivates him - use it!
In the meantime, check out the book, "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk." Seek out times with your son to just enjoy. Through all the cares away for a few hours, and just do something fun... Remind him of the pleasures of life, and the rewards of keeping it together - without nagging.
Good luck to you and do some self-care things every day -yoga, bubble bath, nice walk.
2006-09-23 09:01:30 · answer #2 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on him until he is 18. Then kick his *** out. He need a severe wake up call and pampering him and taking care of him until he is 40 is not going to help.
Take his car away, make him get a job.
2006-09-23 08:54:10 · answer #3 · answered by cannon1977 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hire supernanny
2006-09-23 08:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋