How do I change? Kinda makes it hard to make really good friends.
2006-09-23 07:47:34 · 17 answers · asked by Poppies_rule 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow, reading these answers maybe its because so many people are just aholes. No offense to those who gave helpful answers
2006-09-23 07:50:36 · update #1
It is a defense mechanism that lots of people use to avoid getting hurt. It is usually triggered by past experiences in which someone didn't treat you right or wronged you in someway. It is pretty common, however, to avoid being alone all the time.......you have to let the guard down once in a while. Not all people are out to hurt you and they are being warded off just like the ones who will. You just have to cut loose and take chances with people to let the good ones in and weed out the bad as you see fit. Good Luck !
2006-09-23 10:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by turbietech 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Because you are afraid of getting hurt so u push people away before THEY hurt YOU. U change by learning to become more trusting. Trust the friends u insitinctivley feel u CAN trust. U wont always be this way!
2006-09-23 14:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're probably scared of rejection, so if no one gets near you, they can't reject you. Or maybe you're scared of getting hurt, so if no one gets near you, they can't hurt you. Stuff like that. I'd say to not do that (duh), it's not a healthy habit. Open up a bit, don't be on the defense all the time, but don't be too trusting either. Some people out there will take advantage of you and stab you in the back later.
2006-09-23 14:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to change by reconizing it when its happening, and deciding to act differently.
Instead of pushing people away you need to allow yourself to be open. You can choose what parts of you remain off limits and what parts you are willing to share. but at some point you have to let someone in. Be it a friend or lover. And thats a decision only you can make.
In order to make that decision you have to understand and accept trust in others and in yourself.
2006-09-23 14:50:17 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bacause your afraid. Wether you know it or not. You have probly been hurt more times than you can count and you jsut don't want to be hurt again. So you push people away before they can hurt you. Its very comon. On one level or another we all do it. Don't worry about it. In time you will move passed it although, it may take a little longer than you might want it to.
2006-09-23 14:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by AmberKortni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are afraid of getting hurt or rejected. I do the same thing, I keep that wall up don't let anyone get to close. you can still keep the wall up and not push people away.now that your aware of what you are doing you can work on not pushing people away.
2006-09-23 14:55:13 · answer #6 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may just be afraid of commitment. Have you been hurt by someone close to you in the past? Next time you open up, don't be so afraid to trust.
2006-09-23 14:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by youngblade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your afraid of being hurt. Have anything in the past happen that made you dred the moment when you fall in love?
2006-09-23 14:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by lill_angel_07_88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your probably thinking that alot of people who go near you hate you, or it's just because your probably not having enough space, generally you might just probably have to many people in your way so you push them away, or just have some natural problem. just my point of view...
2006-09-23 14:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by Dreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maby you are clostrophic so when anyone gets too close your first natural responce is to push them away
2006-09-23 14:48:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋