Last April I went and looked at an apartment, and came home to tell my husband about it...he was busy and could not come with me. While trying to talk he got frustrated stood up and slammed his fist straight down infront of me on the table. I said your mean. Then he screamed at me "**** You.", I asked him to lower his voice and he said "I don't ******* care." I told him that I cannot be with someone that is going to treat me this way and he said "There is the ******* door leave then." I cannot beleive I was treated this way by someone who says they love me, and it still hurts inside me...any thoughts to help me? What do you think of this behavior? Thanks.
2006-09-23 07:30:25 · 17 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is a term for this "Temper Tantrum".Have you considered he was having a bad day or dealing with a seriuos issue. He may have been wrong for conucting himself in that manner, for what seconds maybe minutes,yet here you are 5 months later still holding a grude. Let it go! or there's the ******* door.
2006-09-23 08:14:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His behavior as you explained it sounds erratic. Explosive to say the least. Sounds like a volcano waiting to erupt. From your reaction to his verbal abuse it sounds like there may have been other instances where he has verbally abused you. There is never a good excuse for this kind of behavior and often it will escalate to physical abuse. Only you and your husband know the details of your stress full situation. You mentioned you had gone to look at an apartment, this suggests you were heading towards a move. Perhaps you should have an honest talk with a Friend or relative about the state of your marriage. With your husbands response to your assertion that you were not going to stay with someone who spoke to you in such a hostile, hateful manner that might be your clue to separate. Perhaps during the separation see if he would be willing to go to couples counseling. What ever you do--- take care of you. Don't ignore the signs that he may not be who you thought he was when you said I do! Take care of you.
2006-09-23 22:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First how long have you been married? And how often does he treat you this way? I am 27 and have been married twice. My advice is not the best but i will tell you . There are ones out there that never disrespect you. It took me finding myself and then i found someone who only trys to love me never would disrespect me in any way. If he did it so easily to you does he really love you? And what if you returned the treatment. How would it feel to him. Tell him your having trouble forgetting it. Ask him how he could look at the women he loves and still have the heart to treat her like a dog. Make him ashamed of what he did to you. If he has no shame then he has no love. Good Luck
2006-09-23 14:38:38 · answer #3 · answered by monica j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to condone such treatment. I did for many years and wished I had stood up for myself earlier.
It really pains to be treated like a stranger when you are not. Where was the love he promised? sigh.... but it is not too late for you to decide for yourself if this is the kind of treatment that fits you. If not, you may wanna get some counselling or therapy help see clarity for both of you and start redefining what you both want and need in this marriage. If all else fails, then you gotta do what you gotta do.
Best of luck and take care..
2006-09-23 14:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by DiL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think u know now he is not the right guy. He did not even care if u left or not. U need someone that if u left them it would total break there heart as much it would break urs. When u love someone, its just certain things u cannot do without them. He does not love u. Go and find real love, before he hits u
2006-09-23 14:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by Eric MD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pack and leave, if he can explode over something so minor then you are taking a chance for physical violence in the future. If you have no children I would be packing this afternoon.
Exhibition physical violence by hitting or breaking things is usuall y the first step to hitting a person if the argument gets too heated.
2006-09-23 14:34:24 · answer #6 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last April?? It's been eating you up this long... that's long enough, don't you think? How has he been since? Maybe he was having a bad day - but that doesn't excuse his behavior, it only explains it. If he's still being an ******, then maybe it's time you took that apartment for yourself.
Good Luck!
Aloha!
2006-09-23 14:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably a sign of things to come if he's not really apologised for behaving in that manner. I would make any necessary plans to leave just in case there a is recurrence. If he hasn't got respect you've got to be realistic. Good Luck.
2006-09-23 14:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by bob kerr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
April?? is he still being this way if so you need to get out of this relationship before he ends up hurting you . the behavior is uncalled for and will only get worse as time goes on .
2006-09-23 16:15:09 · answer #9 · answered by kristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with" kristi",it could get worse if you let go ,you must talk to him & tell him you're hurt& if he is always the same way ,& you don't have kids,take the decision & leave as soon as possible ,beleive me,when man find out that his wife doesn't object his bad treat ,he try to be more & more mean with her, and he could try to hit you.good luck& take care
2006-09-23 17:44:20 · answer #10 · answered by celina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋