My husband and babies daddy .refuse to spend time with has babies after he said it wasn't his and we went to goget an test and it said all of them was his so do you think we should break it off?HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-23 07:30:04 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
sweetie, ebonics is laziness, not a language....
2006-09-23 07:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
It certainly sounds like things aren't good. Does he have a decent reason for having so little trust for you, or is he simply selfish and immature? Sometimes guys pull this "oh, it isn't mine" thing so they can get out of their responsibilities.
Is he interested in staying in a relationship with you? I don't suppose he'd go to couples counseling with you?
One of the saddest situations I can think of is a father not acknowledging his kids and not wanting to be around them. Kids really do need that attention. But if that's the way he's going to be, your kids might be better off not having cold, rude treatment - or worse - rubbed in their faces every day of their lives. I'll bet they're beautiful little kids, and if he can't get his brain out of his butt and appreciate them, to heck with him.
He fathered those babies so he still owes you for child support, though.
P.S. Go with your gut. It's your life. What do I know? I'm just some stranger on the internet.
2006-09-23 07:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by IrritableMom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is unfortunate that you are going through this. Men kill me with the "it aint mine" line when they could have been sure it was not theirs by using contraception. But you cannot make him do anything he is not willing or wanting to do.
Honestly, no one can answer this question as to if you should split from him but you. Please do not stay together because of the kids because that will never work. You will end up resenting him by forcing him to be a parent to kids that are biologically his, but for whatever reason he does not want to take responsibility for. But just sit back and ask yourself a few questions about your relationship on a whole and please pray about it. Then make your decision with God's guidance. People here can only answer based upon what they would do in this situation but really God is the only person who truly knows the entire situation and will give you answers based upon truth of the matter and not bias on this one situation.
Keep your head high!!!
2006-09-23 08:11:11 · answer #3 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break what off? Were you going to get married? Or are you just talking about the relationship? If he still refuses to spend time with his children after the tests, then it would seem like he has already decided to break it off.
2006-09-23 07:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by kiara481 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If he refuses to spend time with his children, you should definately break it off. The children will be hurt more to know that they are living with a father that doesn't want to be with them. Put your kids in the healthiest situation possible, even if it means that you will have to sacrifice your personal relationships for them. Never let anyone make your children feel that they are not wanted or appreciated. They deserve so much more than that!
2006-09-23 07:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by momoftwo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you give him a reason to believe the babies weren't his or did he just use this as an excuse to cop out of fathering?
What's his reaction now that he knows those are his babies? It's very bad for babies to have a broken home and it's very bad for babies to have a father who is cold to them.
It sounds like you guys are playing games and being very immature and there are kids (or kid, it's hard to tell from your question) who depend on you guys growing up and giving them what they need. Can you do it?
2006-09-23 07:34:25 · answer #6 · answered by cassandra 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he don't want to help take care of his kids leave him. You and the babies don't need him to be around if he's not helping. As they get older they will start asking questions about him and wondering why he don't want them or love them. Don't put the babies through that.
2006-09-23 07:45:23 · answer #7 · answered by jackie b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He certainly sounds like he has a problem. Would he be open to counseling? You could get marriage and family counseling from a pastor if you can't afford to go to a counselor. You may have to decide whether you think you and your children would be better off with or without him if he won't go to counseling or change his ways on his own. It will be a hard decision to make. Basically, besides ignoring his children, he's also accusing you of adultery. Y'all definitely need counseling.
2006-09-23 07:35:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he cannot accept the child as his, and doesnt take responsibility for his actions, then the best thing you can do is sit him down and talk frankly about whether he wants to be part of your life.....it seems he has already made the choice by being immature and disrespectful to you......go with your gut feeling....
2006-09-23 07:35:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
YES!!!! His accusations and actions speak for themselves. He does NOT want this relationship, and his lack of trust in you speaks volumes. It is impossible to build a solid, meaningful, long term relationship without trust. I have also found that when someone constantly accuses you of things- it is usually because he feels guilty for his own indiscrections.
2006-09-23 07:34:34 · answer #10 · answered by tntwade 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he can't handle the responsibility of taking care of his children, that are without a doubt his, you should give him an ultimatum and leave if he can't accept it.
2006-09-23 07:32:51 · answer #11 · answered by lelecw14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋