O.K. Long story short. My husband got mad at me three days ago. We didn't have a fight per se; he just got mad at me because I was late meeting him somewhere. Since then, he has ignored me completely for three days. He seems very angry with me and I'm miffed about silent treatment. I've been very neutral and calmly asked him how he is or if he's angry. But he doesn't even answer my questions!
Now he is an immigrant who moved here only 5 months ago, and I know he's having adjustment problems. We need to live here (the U.S) because he doesn't work at all and we rely on my money and job here. I've done everything I can to make the adjustment smooth for him by getting him involved in English classes and gym. The reason he's angry with me has to do with the amount of hours I have to put in my job....but what can I do...I'm the sole provider.
Everyone here would tell me to have a serious talk with him. But he won't talk to me. We haven't even slept in the same bed for three days
2006-09-23 06:46:52 · 7 answers · asked by Ms.Kimchi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, I'm gonna ask him if he wants to go back to Korea (his country) at least for vacation or even as a trial separation. I lived in Korea for three years with him, didn't like it, and I think its fair he gives the U.S a bit more time out of fairness for me. Should I do a trial separation?
2006-09-23 07:20:48 · update #1
I am guessing this isnt the real reason he is angry, because you were late meeting him. He might feel demasculated having to rely on you for money? It might not be in his culture to accept help from a woman? And, trust me, from past experience, the more u ask a man "are u ok?" the more annoyed it makes them! Leave him be for a few more days to sort his head out. Now if he doesnt calm down within the next few days, i would suggest having a serious chat with him with u explaining your feelings. It sounds like u have done all u can to make the transition easier for him. The rest is up to him, he has to try to make a go of things now. Good luck!
2006-09-23 06:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. Any time you have a partner that is re-locating you know how hard it is, having lived in Korea like you did. Do you love him? If you do, this must take time and alot of patience. But you also need to be able to talk things out, this is just as important and maybe you can explain this to him. Can you go somewhere nice and talk about it?
2006-09-23 20:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by trainer53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: Understand that what he is doing is CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR! He is using your love for him against you! That is tyrannical behavior and IS NOT acceptable. Teach him it is not acceptable by stop letting it get to you! Stop all outward actions of love and understanding. Forget about his being a "foreigner," you are bending over backwards trying to excuse his actions...stop it now!
Second: Gain control of the situation: Tell him that if he does not have a job by ....., you are going to leave him flat. That will cost him his US passport and he will be deported. And stick to what you say. HE deserves NOTHING from you, I don't care what he feels about himself. He obviously has no regard for your feelings.
Thirdly: Set a time limit to his freeloading.. say one month. At that time, cut off his supply of money. Open a new bank account in your name only NOW. All money he has will be given him as an allowance. IF he want so to act like a child, then treat him as one. IF he does nothing with in the time limit, NO MORE MONEY PERIOD. And file for a divorce !
Don't be a fool, You are being used royally. Do you have so little self respect that you have to set up excuses for his actions? That you are willing to be abused like this? That you are so willing to set aside all sense of what a marriage is to be with this jerk? Only you can answer these questions, but remember, you were the one that asked. Good luck and peace.
2006-09-23 13:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are going away for a few days to think. This idiot needs a kick in the a____. How do these guys get these nice gals and **** on them all of the time? I'm a nice guy, treat everybody with respect and can't get anyone. Go figure.....
2006-09-23 13:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Gez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him your going to call INS. seriously, why are you with this guy and putting up with this BS? you're the sole provider and making all of the effort in the relationship it sounds like. he sounds overly sensitive and is taking advantage of your kindness as a person.
2006-09-23 13:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by MikE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is his pride
that hurt
it will be ok
promise, since you did not say what is his nationality I am not abel to tell you how you can make him get over himself sooner
2006-09-23 13:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow the **** up or your leaving.
2006-09-23 13:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by Asia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋