Last night at a ball game a lady grabbed me by the arm and yanked me down a couple of steps. I didn't know her and hadn't said anything to her. It was surreal that someone would grab me like that. I told the lady not to touch me and she had a snippy little reply that I was going the wrong way. I told her again not to touch me and she had the same reply.
I got her name & then I promptly told my husband what happened. He is my authority in Godly, Biblical order, so I told him. He did nothing. He said if he saw the man in charge of the group this lady was with he would tell him. He knew right where the man was, but wouldn't go talk to him.
My husband ALWAYS does this. No one likes confrontation, but sometimes you have to be a man and suck it up and take care of what needs to be done.
Why can't he do this? Am I unworthy of his protection? Just because I am an outgoing woman who speaks her mind doesn't mean I don't need defending.......especially when I ask for it!
2006-09-23 06:35:11 · 21 answers · asked by SuzieQ92 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess I shouldn't be amazed at the rudeness in people's answers. I didn't do anything to this lady. I didn't provoke her in any way before she grabbed me. If people had read the question completely they would have known that.
I guess I should have added the caveat that women's libbers need not apply. I have never been one to scream about my rights and to ask about being treated equally to men. I do believe that women are to submit to men as the Bible says, but that makes me in the minority here on Yahoo Answers, huh? Not a problem.
2006-09-23 07:45:23 · update #1
Also, I guess people didn't read that I did verbally defend myself, but the lady wasn't backing down. I didn't ask my husband to say anything to her or to hit her. I wanted him to speak to the MAN in charge of the group she was with.
2006-09-23 07:46:32 · update #2
Look back to his childhood. My husband is a bit of a non defender. I don't think he realizes this. But I look at his parents who are meddlers, conflict makers, gossip mongers and do anything to cause disharmony amongst all their children and spouses. But, he will never defend me to them. We have been married 8 years, and he is actually starting now from time to time to take up for me. His dad will ask a ? and he will be watching TV so I will answer, and my fil will ask the question again, putting my husbands name at the start. My husband has finally started saying, Beth just answered that.
Try to tell him that what he does/ or does not do, hurts you. While you know he loves you, the fact the he does not defend you makes you feel unworthy and unloved.
I know some Christian women who are afraid to confront their husband, or think it is Bibically wrong to express displeasure with their spouse, but I disagree. You can be Bibical and kind about it, and strengthen your marriage too.
It won't happen overnight, but maybe he will come around. Good luck.
2006-09-23 06:41:18 · answer #1 · answered by Beth M 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you told your husband about it because he is your 'authority in Godly, Biblical order'??? What in the world does that have to do with anything? You set him over you, no one else did.
Here's a shocking suggestion: Deal with this yourself. A woman grabbed YOU and insulted YOU. You're a functioning, adult responsible for her own life (or you should be) and you have the ability to deal with this issue without a male jumping in to do it for you. Who made you a helpless little waif that needs defending? Take action for your own life. Stop looking to others to make decisions for you that have an affect on YOUR life and YOUR body. If you don't, you're just a helpless little victim who shouldn't have the right to even speak unless spoken to.
2006-09-23 06:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lady, YOU started the argument. A man is under no obligation to "defend" a **** stirring fight starter. A gentleman would do exactly what your husband did and ignore the situation - a lady wouldn't have started it in the first place.
Just because someone is rude to you, doesn't give you the right to go crying to your husband demanding he defend your honor and escalate a confrontation that should have been handled better by you.
2006-09-23 07:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by shomechely 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
several points:
1. are you a child? only children need to be defended in the manner you are describing.
2. you are undermining 150 years of women's rights. women have been fighting for years for equal rights as men, but whenever something like this comes up, you whine about "but i'm a woman!" and insist that you need to be treated differently. i'm sick of the hypocrisy. go out and buy your man a 10k diamond ring.
3. yes, many men do not like confrontation, which is why i'm amazed your man chose to marry you.
2006-09-23 06:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if someone grabbed me, you better believe I would be the one doing something about it. I don't need a man to stand up for me, I have enough confidence and self respect to defend myself. As far as his biblical order or whatever; men and women are equal. Not one is better than the other. He probably is annoyed that you can't handle anything yourself and have to bother him for everything. You say you're outgoing and speak your mind; but how can that be if you can't even tell off a woman who you don't even know? Suck it up; women like you are the reason the rest of us get a bad name. Get a backbone and defend yourself. Now you're probably going to be offended at this answer and try to get your husband to tell me off. Good luck.
2006-09-23 07:17:50 · answer #5 · answered by Diane Marie 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Oh, I'm with Diane Marie here. If someone were to grab me like that (woman or man) I wouldn't go crying to my husband (and he knows that too). Stand up for yourself and stop being a big baby. Maybe he didn't think it was serious enough to get involved.
2006-09-23 07:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In life you should either stand up an be counted, or lie down and be walked over. Your husband appears to be the latter he should have spoke up for you and it is to his eternal shame that he does not.
It does not mean he is without love ,just to him confrontation does not solve anything .He is wrong ! buy him "Coward of the County" by Kenny Rogers he soon see the errors of his way.
2006-09-23 06:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by postypaul 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some people are just non confrontational. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Since you got this lady's name, call the police and press charges on her yourself. She grabbed you, that's assault.
2006-09-23 06:40:25 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand why u felt your husband should have defended you. maybe your husband wants you to be able to defend yourself when it is needed. you should have gone to the man and told him what happened.. or better yet, u should have slapped the hell out of the lady.... now if a man disrespects you, or puts his hand on you, that's a different show.. at that point, of course, your husband should get involved. he would have looked like a fool running to the man or confronting the woman...u want ur husband to be your wimp... damn, at least he has some backbone.
2006-09-23 09:16:09 · answer #9 · answered by Niecy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Some people just don't have it in them to face confrontations. You should not bereat him for this. When the time comes and you are in serious danger he will be there for you. His love for you will do that.
2006-09-23 06:46:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋