I have been cussed out by his mom ,threatned by his dad, his brother & mostly it's all because I'm not an Islander.No matter what they do or say I hold my tongue even when they are nasty with me. In the past I was not like that & now I am for my husband's sake because he is caught in the middle.
2006-09-23 06:19:38 · 12 answers · asked by "karma" 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What do you mean he's caught in the middle??? Youre his wife for crying out loud!!! He should defend you and blatently and forcefully tell his family to stop treating you that way. Tell him if he doesnt start standing up for you, I dont know, threaten something, you know what he needs and wants better than me. But when someone gets married, they are choosing their spouse as their new family, and the spouse should have priority. I used to date a guy who did the same thing. He was more interested in his mother than me. I would rather puke every morning for the rest of my life than have to be with someone like that. Sorry that this is so blunt.
2006-09-23 06:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sam S 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know what your going through, I'm black and my husbands family is mexican/white. They don't acknowledge me, but I know that they're in the wrong. I personally don't plan on holding my tongue in certain situations, I just hold back from saying what I truly think. The next time they try to say something to you stay your ground, you can respectfully let them know that they have no right to look down at you because you aren't an islander. You should also tell your husband how you feel, if he's more aware to how his family comes across from your perspective he'll probably be more helpful in getting through to them.
2006-09-23 07:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by lelecw14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm....sounds familiar.
If you really really love him, suck it up, although....he should stick up for you. There is no reason that you have to even be in the same room as those people. Just refuse to have anything to do with them. It sounds like you are way past the "talking it out" routine. Make it clear to your husband and his family that you do not have to take thier sh*t. All that should matter is that their son is happy and you have been a part of that. They are making their own son's life miserable with this fued. Ask them how they think this effects their son....maybe they will see it in a different light.
2006-09-23 06:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by Belle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wish I could help give you some advice, but I am in the same boat you are... been there for 6+ years. His sister has brought home trailer trash, drug addicts, men old enough to be her father, and even married men- I am a normal person with a college education and a good job and I am somehow below all these people she has brought home!! You can't really ask him to disown his family-- I just distance myself as best I can.
2006-09-23 06:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by richkaryn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my heart goes out to you, i had the same problem with my husbands family, espec his mam. we only recently started talkin after 2yrs and to be honest i quite liked it like that. even now i wont go and visit her though. i only bother with his dad and 1 brother, the rest of them are a waste of space. at 1 point me and my hubby split up over his mam (before we got married). he was going to visit her and cause we was going through a bad patch he was believin all the evil and bad things she was sayin about me. even now he works away from home all week and she shows off if he dont go and see her to spend a day with her, even though he would like to spend the weekend with his wife. i hope it all works out for you, the only thing i can suggest is what you have been doing, and hold you tongue, the last thing you need is for you to row with them all and for them to hold it against you.
good luck x
2006-09-23 06:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by taryn3piper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, because really your husband should tell his family that speaking about you poorly or verbally abusing you is unacceptable.
HE should give them an ultimatum and give them the chance to behave with common dignity, if they don't then he needs to cut them out of your lives until they apologize and alter their behavior.
2006-09-23 06:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by clacroix00132 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom had taught me to "kill them with kindness." I've found it to work for the most part. I've never been injured by doing this ;o). Give it a try and see what happens. Good luck to ya.
2006-09-23 09:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just try to avoid them as much as possible. If they come to you to cuss you out let them have it back. Your husband should respect that.
2006-09-23 06:22:50 · answer #8 · answered by angie1977c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I DO NOT THINK THIS BEHAVIOR IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT AN ISLANDER. I THINK IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE RUDE AND VERY CRUEL PEOPLE.
I BELIEVE YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO HAVE A MEETING WITH HIS FAMILY AND TELL THEM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT HE EXPECTS HIS FAMILY TO TREAT HIS WIFE OF CHOICE WITH RESPECT AND KINDNESS AT ALL TIMES, OTHERWISE, THE TWO OF YOU WILL NOT BE AROUND.
GOOD LUCK
LET US KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
2006-09-23 08:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by sunshine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell you husband he needs to choose. He can either support their behavior, or he can support you. No one can change another person's atittude or actions, but your husband can show which one's are acceptable.
2006-09-23 06:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋