Ok. To clear things up I don't think that he's cheating on me now, but I was curious to see if he tried to get with any other girls when we first started dating. Apparently, I was right to be suspicious. He told a girl that he still had feelings for her (after telling everyone they never really dated) and he tried to talk to another girl once we were official. These are only the things that I found on his sent messages on Facebook. I almost feel bad about looking in his messages, but then again I feel like my actions were validated by what I found, so I just wanted to know others' opinions.
2006-09-23 06:18:46 · 9 answers · asked by lelecw14 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I personally don't think so. It shows that you care which is healthy for a relationship. Think of how he'll act before you tell him though.
2006-09-23 06:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Steve B 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You should never do this because even something totally innocent could look bad to unsuspecting eyes. Privacy is something we take for granted...think about that the next time you inadvertantly run into an old flame or even just talk to one of your old friends. How many of the things that you say could be scrutinized and precieved as something other than just friendly. If you wnt to have a functional relationship with your husband be honest with him tell him you had doubts tell him what you did...explain why you had doubt. My guess is that he would never want you to doubt him and he'd do anything in his power to right any wrong he made you feel.
2006-09-23 06:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by chrisgharr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a good thing that you never found anything more but maybe it is time to drop the almost in the phrase...almost feel bad... now that he has "proven" his faithfulness to you in a points keeping system you owe him something like More Trust... just because he chats with a woman does NOT mean he is bonking her.
Do let this be a way to release your fears and be more in the relationship...it takes both people continuing to give to each other like they did when dating...
Marriages get stale when you start taking each other for granted and not doing the special pick me ups you usted to do... Next time you feel suspicious ask yourself.... If I was just extra chatty with the butcher at the meat counter and the sacker of your grocery's would you want him to grill you and accuse you of wanting to sleep with them???
I think you get my point...sometimes there are reasons to be suspicious but ... Now You Know... and Now you can move forward and do your fart to make the relationship is good as it gets.
I just celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary. long term can be done. faithfully.
2006-09-26 06:39:04 · answer #3 · answered by ??IMAGINE ?? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him in the first place if you don't trust him? Trust is something you definitely have to consider before you marry someone. After all you might be spending hte rest of your life with this person. As for the facebook thing if you have the pw (and it's obtained by legal means) then I guess it's ok.
2006-09-23 06:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you broke a trust with him - does that make you feel better - although I can't say a relationship founded on lies (if this is what they were) It sounds like you need to have a really heart to heart talk with your husband - otherwise these trust issues will destroy your marriage.
2006-09-23 06:22:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always trust what your gut is saying. If you think he's cheating, He's Cheating. Happens every time and why want anybody listen to me. I have said this so many times.
2006-09-23 06:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by angie1977c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you think about asking him if he cheated? A relationship without trust is based on nothing.
2006-09-23 06:22:04 · answer #7 · answered by uliboo13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have trust issues. Get over it or let the guy loose so he can be with someone who trusts him.
2006-09-23 06:20:02 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on your insecurity. You are after all, his choice!
2006-09-23 06:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋