I was aware of the baby from the moment i met him, he was very honest with me, she was born 6 months into our relationship. He hadn't seen her untill last week tho (she's now 6 months old) It really didnt bother me before but i think that was because she wasnt part of his life. I know i love him to bits but it makes me feel strange knowing he has a child and its not mine...
2006-09-23 05:52:47 · 23 answers · asked by Rachael 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i know exactly what you are going through i recently got married on august 13,06 my husband has two kids from different moms i have a child from a previous relationship...in the beginning i did feel resentful towards my step kids that almost blew off our relationship is not the KIDS FAULT remember children are not brought in the world because they are ask too we did if you love this man and you see yourself marrying this man make it work seek counseling. .. have him seek help too, it is not worth it too feel bad about good things accidents happen .this child might turn out to adore you, and also support him and a man needs support especially when it comes to kids, show him you care. make it worth it but if not move on.. it just going to make guys miserable
2006-09-23 06:04:26 · answer #1 · answered by mommy2be 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Understand that if you continue with this relationship you are accepting this child into your life. Now that he has been with the child the mother could go after him for support. If that happens then then he is entitled to visitation.
Think long and hard, this other woman and the child will be a part of your life if you marry him. At least for the next 18 years.
2006-09-23 05:58:11 · answer #2 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things like this happen all the time. You need to ask yourself if you can accept this baby and this baby's mother. They both will be permanent fixtures in this relationship. Talk to him and find out if he would have a problem if you are with him when he does things for the baby or, if it's going to be a problem if you accompany him to the mother's house. If there is going to be a problem, you may need to figure out what's best for you. You can always be friends with him but there is someone else in his life that has to be his first priority now. I have been through this, but my boyfriend would sometimes take me with him when he went to see the baby. He told the baby's mother that he and I were together and that he would try to do all he could for his baby.
2006-09-23 06:08:27 · answer #3 · answered by Ardessa S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya it is a big responsability,but are you sure the relationship with the mother is over cause sometimes once the baby is born old feelings could come to live,but if you feel that way I would probably not want to be continue the relationship,and always remember the baby should go first in his life,the child needs his daddy. good luck in any decision you make
2006-09-23 06:03:29 · answer #4 · answered by alwayssmiling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound egocentric to me. it truly is all about you and what you decide on really of what your boyfriend needs and the youngster. You knew this going into the relationship. You both ought to settle for that the youngster comes first and partying comes very last or move on. in case you supply him an ultimatum then i'm afraid you lose,as well it ought to. it truly is not any longer the youngster's fault that he changed into delivered into the international, and your resentment in direction of him won't be able to make concerns any more advantageous acceptable. it is going to rigidity a wedge between you and your bf. the aspect so that you'll be able to do is move on to someone with out attachments. then you extremely can party as a lot as you decide on. in case you want your boyfriend and opt to stay with him, you'll supply up your complaining and settle for it.
2016-11-23 17:19:15 · answer #5 · answered by moodey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is indeed a complex set of circumstances and feelings, you can't change what has happened, the thing you should try to concentrate on now is forming a relationship with him and his daughter, I say this in earnest, if you let these feelings of yours fester and you do not deal with them they will interfere with your relationship.
He is a dad now and this is new and exciting to him, and if you are not there o share this wonderful new period in his life the chance of him sharing it with the mother is more likely, this is something you don't want, you need to let him see and now that you are no interested in replacing the mother, but however you are interested in forming a relationship with his daughter and him as a father.
2006-09-23 06:03:04 · answer #6 · answered by Solitary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you BOTH need more time with the child. Make sure that there is a solid vi station set up and STICK TO IT!
Best of luck, not all children you love have to be YOURS!
2006-09-23 08:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's complicated. But you can think of it this way:
Love the child as much as you would love a friend at first then grow more attached to her. You shouldn't feel weird knowing you love something that isn't your own flesh and blood.
2006-09-23 05:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that his child is always going to be a part of his life and should be more important or at least just as important than you.
2006-09-23 05:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to give it some time. I am sure that later down the road you two will be able to share a child of your own if that is what you want.
2006-09-23 05:56:41 · answer #10 · answered by Novotny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋