i am really worried about my friend. she is in this relationship where he is so controlling. he doesnt really let her go anywhere without him and when she does he rings every 10mins wants to know where she is who she is with and if she doesnt answer her phone he has a go at her saying she is cheating. if she gets a text message he wants to know who it is from. if she goes down to the shops without telling him he goes mad. he throws bottles at her punches her she says they are just play fighting but he goes way over the top. when they are out he trips her up pushes her into the road and he even does it to strangers. the other day a woman wasnt looking where she was going and bumped into him so he pushed her into some bins. if any woman or child walks past or doesnt get out of his way he trips them up
i am really scared for her safety but all she says is that he needs to mature(they are both 19) and that he does it to show his the 'big man'
what do you think she should do?
2006-09-23 05:36:22 · 23 answers · asked by naughtynew 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
she is your friend + i think u really need to talk to her....if they have a flat together then she should move out when is not there, thats what i done with my ex....she should go to the police about him.....she deserves better than that....no-one should have to put up with that from any-one......she is lucky to have a mate like you looking out for her....u could even let her stay with u for a lil while till she finds her own place or advise her to go back live with her parents....im sure if she tells them whats been hapening they will understand why she's back....she doesnt seem very strong thats why she's not walkin away....she is not there coz she loves him.....she is just too scared to walk away + you need to help her do that....
good luck
x.niks.x
2006-09-26 01:59:18 · answer #1 · answered by lil niks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This friend of yours needs to run as far away from this guy, these are the men that are so obsessive that they will do anything to keep a woman under his thumb and your friend is the type of woman to let a man do this, and ends up getting hurt really bad. Just tell her she needs to think of where she wants to be in 2 years, does she still want this man telling her how to run HER life or should I say his life, because she is not independent if she is letting him do this to her.
You should be worried about her safety, and keep trying to get her out of this relationship. Good Luck, because she will probably have to find out the hard way.
2006-09-23 05:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One word.... RUN!!!!
Take it from someone who has been in controlling relationships, they are a WASTE of time. Some women find it endearing or cute when they are controlling, but the fact of the matter is that it gets old and it gets old quick.... Tell her to find a man who is self confident . A true man has no need to be jealous or controlling. A true man lets you be who you are and loves you for it.
Also, a true man doesn't throw things or doesn't EVER strike a woman no matter what she does. This guy sounds like a louse and doesn't deserve to have someone if he is going to treat them so bad.
This guy sounds like a total loser and probably never had the proper discipline to treat people the way he wants to be treated. That can not be changed... you know the old addage "A leopard can't change its spots." Take care and I hope this helps.
2006-09-23 05:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by HSK's mama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a relationship like that except the guy didn't physically abuse me that way.
She really needs to run the hell away from that guy and get a restraining order because that is NOT play fighting, and it WILL escalate into something serious. She has to get out as soon as possible, the longer she's with him, the more obsessed he'll get and the more violent things will be.
She's an adult now, she can go to the police herself, file a poilice report, and get the restraining order. I was only 17 when I went though that so I needed my parents.
2006-09-23 05:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there, I've been in this sort of situation before, to the point where he actually went to prison for what he did to me! It has to be stopped, she has to leave him or it will keep happening. The pnly problem is that the more people try to tell her that she'd be better without him, she's more likely to stay with him. (ppl dont like to be wrong and most try and make it work to prove a point)
I hope she makes the right decision and all the best. U sound like a true friend.
2006-09-24 04:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you say to her, she will stick with him until he really does something that either irritates her or does her bodily harm. I amsure you have already said you don't like the guy to her. That's about all you can do. Assure her than if she does dump him, you will be there to support her. (Oh, by the way, this excuse, "he'll mature" is a big bull story. If he acts like that to a woman he is not even married to, immagine what her life would be like if she married this character.)
2006-09-23 05:59:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
does your friend get into the BDSM life style ?
Sounds liek she is kind of into his dominate role and likes part of it.
As for this clown pushing and tripping up others he does not know , he will meet his one day and it will not be pretty either.
Your friend sounds like she is either enjoying his Control over her or she is to oscared. Time for you to start paying closer attention to her.If you see signs of her getting turned on by his actions , then you have your answer.
if you see her scared and freightened by his actions then I would step in and do something for her.
Most of those types back down when they are forced otdeal with someone who is willing otstand thereground and face them.Bullies are like that.They talk loudly and often cant back it up.
If this guy is all talk and no action you will find out fast.
Sounds ot me this guy gets a hard on from doing crap like this and he needs a good ole fashioned ash whippin to show him he is just a boy not a man.
2006-09-23 05:46:50 · answer #7 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've got been down that street... at times, it worked out on an identical time as others did no longer and the friendship died off... so it incredibly relies upon on the kin and how keen to maintain this friendship. like quite a few varieties of relationships, it takes 2 to paintings issues out, so if the two considered one of you're the two keen to make a friendship after this and are truthful approximately your emotions it would be ok, and grow to be helpful. the justifications why those circumstances do no longer paintings out is as a results of emotional choose of one person hoping for "yet another probability", for that reason making it confusing to paintings this friendship out. as long as the two events are mutual and truthful with their status, and that the two are keen to paintings at it, there's a threat. wish that facilitates!
2016-10-01 07:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
break up, he is a mean, cruel immature guy and he shouldnt be doing this to his girlfriend, tell her to break up with him immediatly and keep him away from her. dont let him harm her more than she has already been dealing with, this is for your friend's safety and health, if she disagrees with u, then tell her the truth that he is too immature to date and no matter how nice or caring he can be, she is still in danger, he is not only doing this to her but others out on the streets too and this is wrong. tell her to keep a distance away from him or tell a older adult like his parents, her parents or other trusted friends or adults, dont let this to keep on happening to her or others. and even though she "assumes" he needs to mature, if he continues to do this, he will never mature and he will always do this in his future.
2006-09-23 05:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by Cecilia ♡ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that they should try to go to counceling to try and fix HIS problem because i don't think she will leave him. Women tend to be blind when it comes to love, if she loves him or cares aobut him she wont leave him untill she has had enough. I hate to say that but its true. My friend is married to a low life *** hole thats in the military and he chokes her out and spits in her face because she doesn't do what he wants . She almost left him but he called her and told her he would change and she went back. I told her i was there for her but that isn't enough ..now she wont even reply to my e-mails . JUst let her be and if he hits her one day and she gets all brused up take pictures and report it to the police and they will handle it ..you might lose her friendship but its better than loosing her.
2006-09-23 05:41:46 · answer #10 · answered by audri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋