I've never been married; when I met my bf I didn't know anything about his past and after 2 months of our relationship he told me his story that he had been married for more than 10 years and have 3 children! We love eachother and we enjoy of being together; but sometime I worry about our future life becuase of his past life and his children.
2006-09-23 04:48:36 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriages break up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes there is no one to blame. But people's perceptions of divorcees seem to be less than favourable. Keep an open mind about the whole thing.
Now if you're not ready to be an instant mom then that's a whole other issue in itself. You're still early enough in the relationship that you could break it off and find someone with less "baggage". It is your choice to make.... but think it through carefully so you have no regrets.
Good luck.
2006-09-23 05:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this late date it's hard to find men that have not been married and with children. A lot of time bad things happen to good people. Because he's divorce and has children doesn't make him a bad person. I do agree that he should have told you about being divorce and kids when he first met you. Now that part would bother me why did he wait two months. That's something you tell right from the start. Just know that if you plan a future with him that future will have to include his children. They are not his past. They are his present and future. Now if you don't want this type of man, it's best to leave now before you invest any more time.
2006-09-23 11:59:49 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a bf and he is divorced also and has 3 kids (2 are actually his and 1 thats not his but still has 2 pay child support even tho the mother whored around and had this child with another man while they were still married) The ex wife tries her damnist to make our lives a living hell b/c she is so jealous of me, she thought she could go out and whore around then my bf would take her back (wrong) she thought that he would take her back b/c he took her back before b/c of the kids but he got tired of it. when she found out about me she got all pissed and started making my bf out to be the bad parent which he isn't shes the bad parent! My bf and i ignore her b/c she acts like a lil child. Shes had 4 bfs within 1 year. But i love my bf and i am with him to help him raise these children the way there suppose to be raised b/c the mother is no good and i want to help my bf get his life back together the way its suppose to be b/c the ex had ruined his life hella bad. The ex wife has no job sits on her @ss all day and collects child support. My bf and i enjoy being together also. He says if it wasn't for me something probably would have already happened. But we put the past behind us and go on about our business. We don't even talk to the ex we take the kids to a drop off center (a lady is there to switch kids with each of the parents in different rooms) that way we can't listen to her mouth or see her. They use a notebook to talk back and forth but thats just a waste of time b/c she is jealous over me and writes about me all the time LOL. Being in this situation is a lot of stress trust me. But if you love your partner enough to accept what all has happened then stick with him. Our lives has gotten a lil less stressful since we don't hardly have to deal with the ex. Maybe your bf didn't tell you about his past b/c he was afraid you may leave him? I dunno but its your choice whether you want to stay or not. But if you want to be together then you'll have to accept his children they are not something you can just throw away but the ex wife you can. But if you want to break it off with him do it now not later. Good luck!!! =-)
2006-09-23 12:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honest answer: No way Jose!!!!! If you never were married before,a good advice from a Yahoo friend: Find a man who has not children,a man who never was married before (like you),and then; you will be happy.But is all up to you.Deal with a man with 3 children can be a nightmare; for a lady like you, (you have not experience,you have not idea,not a clue what life should be; dealing with children, from another mother).2 months are not too much time.Mean, you can break up with him; and really find your happiness, and, a better future for you.Good luck.There are more and better men, waiting for you.They are coming in your way (future).Do not stuck with this man,he is not the last love.You will have in your future; another man, you will really fall in love.Then you will marry with him.But all is up to you.Think good about the consequences; you will have, if you stay with this man.You need a clean man, (without compromises).God already have another man, (without compromises),for you.Think not for now,think for your coming future.Good luck.
2006-09-23 12:31:55 · answer #4 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why worry about the past? It's over and done with...and did not involve you. You should be more worried about how you are reacting to his being honest. If you don't want him to start hiding stuff, then, just accept the information as information...your judgments are not required, always try to encourage communication, 'cause that is what makes any relationship work.
And besides, if it were you that had the failed marriage, would you want that being held against you forever...by people you don't even know yet? Be fair to him.
2006-09-23 12:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think him waiting 2 months is such a big deal. He most likely wanted to see if you were someone he wanted a relationship with before telling you everything. Not everyone advertises their entire life to someone they are casually dating. It can work but you need to accept that the children and the ex to a point are always going to be part of his life. That said, blended families often work.
2006-09-23 12:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to know this man real well before you decide to put your life's happiness in his hands. Do you get along with his children? It is not easy being a step-mother and you should get yourself prepared if you decided to marry him. Find out the reason of his divorce from him (not reliable though) and from his close friends and family. Get a clearer picture before you jump into it.
2006-09-23 11:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by smile_: ) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as y'all are both happy. I don't see why it would matter. I am dating a guy that just got divorced and has a boy. They are the best thing that could have happened to me and I wouldn't changed anything about it. But if he has an ex like mine got. I'll pray for you. The exs are always the worst part of dating a divorced guy with kids.
2006-09-23 15:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by Cricket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would only say to be cautious. What was the reason he did not tell you that he was married. Possibly he may have felt that you would not date him anymore, or was it a deliberate action. After finding out the "Why's" you will know the right thing to do as long as he is totally honest with you.
2006-09-23 11:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by peptown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married a man who is divorced with a son.
why didn't he tell you all of this up front? what else is he hiding?
I think the 2 of you need to sit down and he needs to tell you the whole story. Here's the hard part of all of this... you are going to have to deal with another woman who is a part of his life no matter what you do. he has kids with this woman and you are going to have to deal with him talking to her all the time.
I almost ended my relationship because I was having a really hard time with it. I am gald that I didn't.
2006-09-23 11:53:11 · answer #10 · answered by turners_pics 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋