Isolation good for someone who is depressed about attraction/sexual things?

Question

Everytime i go out in the city all i see is beautiful people and i become attracted . it's normal. but i'm not normal, i have male problems and i'm just in pain all the time. I guess the best thing for me is to forget about girls and avoid them because if i don't i suffer.
So these days i'm not going out at all. i'm staying home, yeah it's depressing but there's no other way. If i go out and see beautiful girls i will start to think "Wow one day i want to have a beautiful girlfriend" PUFF. for what, if i feel in terrible pain always. is isolation good so that you will forget about girls?

masterbation hurts so i don't like that anymore. I have penis pain problem, it's really horrible.. and doc says he cannot do anything.

Answer 1

Um...no that's not healthy. What kind of "male pain"? Something you can take care of yourself? If you want a beauitful girl, get one. Ask one out, but you'll never get over this until you face it....head on. You're not gonna find one inside your own house, right?? Nobody cares if you cant dance, just get up and do it anyway!!

Answer 2

friend, you're dealing with depression. it's very normal to be attracted to females that you encounter while you are out and about. it's not normal to isolate yourself in fear of being turned on by one. have you ever masturbated, thinking about some girl you saw. try it!
i suggest that you see a psychiatrist ASAP to discuss your issues. it is obvious you have low self-esteem and are beating yourself up over the life you are living. life is designed to bring us happiness and pleasure. you are not paticipating in those two great gifts.
i'm speaking from personal experience here. there was a time that i isolated myself from family and friends because i was suffering with depression. after seeing a psychiatrist and talking through my problems and taking prescribed medications, the veil of depression slowly lifted and i was able to rejoin life,have fun, and renew my sex life.
you are a valuable person. you deserve to be happy and lead a sexual life.
if your male problems are impotency-----there;s help for that too.
see a psychiatrist. he/she will help you to cope and defeat all these negative issues you are dealing with.
please promise yourself and me that you will take the leap and see a psychiatrist. YOU WON'T BE SORRY! in two months or less YOU CAN BE A NEW MAN.

Answer 3

Some of this might be tough to swallow because I am pretty blunt. None of it is meant to hurt you intentionally. My intention is to share with you, from my heart and own experience, and hope that you find something of value to take from what I have to offer. if you are interested, read on.....

Being depressed is a state of being self-absorbed, and stuch in a cycle of negative self-talk and lack of motivation to change it. When you have your bad self-talk "filter" working like a filter lens that you're looking through, it is tough to see anything else the way they really are. You can't see the way to stop doing what you're doing to save your own life.
I
f you stay at home by yourself too much, for too long, you will become too self-absorbed. You will only worry about you, all the time. Your life will become consumed by what affects you only, what makes you comfortable, what you want, you, you, you......

There is a whole world out there, and it caters to no one individual. It revolves around no one individual. If you go out there and experience it, you will see that for yourself.

Sometimes it's scary to deal with people. There is an overwhelming number of people suffering from social anxiety to some degree or other. It is pointless, though, to be consumed by 'what other people think of you' because chances are, they don't. They are thinking about their own concerns.

People don't really think of you until you give them a reason to. Become an extrovert, and you give people a reason to think of you, in a favorable light. Sounds easy, but it may not be.

Becoming an extrovert is all about making it about others, rather than yourself. It just takes a conscious effort for a little while. You start by smiling at everyone, and make eye contact at every other person you see. You will start to notice that people smile back at you.

Then, you start to notice the efforts people make to be noticed. (The way they dress, the cars they drive, the things they do, the places they go). You begin to make positive observations and dole out compliments. You let them know in some favorable way, that you noticed something good about them.

This begins to establish rapport. You take that a step further and ask questions, get them to talk to you. Ask about their thoughts on something. Ask them about something they might know about.

Forcing yourself to forget about your insecurities and anxiety long enough to notice somebody else it the hardest step. Once you do it a few times, it starts to become second nature.

When you notice others and let them know it by showing interest, you make them feel good about themselves. Do this generously and unselfishly. It will come back to you, I promise.

When people feel good around you, thay will want you around. You will start to feel more welcome and popular. And all you had to do was stop hiding your beautiful personality with your anxiety. You decided to be the hero and break the ice with someone, and you put them at ease. You made them feel respected and accepted. You gave to others what you wanted from them for yourself. It feels really good to make someone's day....

Another thing I wanted to address... The fear of rejection factor. We all face potential rejection on a daily basis. Rejection hurts. That's a fact. But we would be fools to hide out out of the self-defeating belief that a rejection would destroy us. No rejection is capable of causing as much significant psychological damage as out negative self-talk. And if we hide out and avoid challenges out of fear of rejection or failure, we guarantee ourselves failure. Have you ever heard the cliche "you have to choose to fail"? That's what it means.

The way you choose to handle rejection says a lot about your character. And rejections build your character. You can't possible please everyone in the world, and you don't need everyone's approval to be all right.

As far as a beautiful girlfriend... isn't there anything else that you value in a woman besides physical beauty? Maybe your "centerfold syndrome" is WHY they avoid you. If this is how you view women, then you won't have much luck with them.

There are so many other redeeming qualities in a woman that you would realize for yourself, if you broadened your "acceptableness" standards. No one wants to be seen as an ornamental object existing for your entertainment only, to enhance your ego, to boost your social status, and for your pleasure only. (If you want that, stick to jerking off to the porn magazines). They are far less intimidating than dealing with real women, with real personalities, who may possibly reject you.

If you want to have better luck with women, get rid of the notion that you are the chooser. And get rid of the notion that you have to become what you think they want you to be. Get rid of the notion that they should accommodate you and your wants. Get rid of the "I'll get them before they reject me" attitude. And get rid of the sttitude that they are empty-shell, ornaments. I know that it feels more comfortable for some men. Women don't appreciate it. We avoid men that feel so inadequate that they need to reduce us to a level that is more comfortable with them to deal with. We see right through that behavior, and it annoys us.

All people alive want to feel important, appreciated, acknowledged, recognized, validated, listened to, admired, respected, powerful, and saught after.

Sound familiar? Start with noticing things about women. Keep those hot buttons in your mind and make comments casually that hit on those buttons. Pay attention to their reaction.

This is where it starts to get fun. Remember, you are not searching for that perfect fantasy woman in your imagination, but rather "interviewing" companions. You do not have to get 'serious' with each of them, but just get to know them.

Get to know many women (seret tip for brave men only: pretend to be gay, go shopping with women, go clubbing, and get facials). Pay attention to what they don't realize thay're saying to you. Keep pushing their buttons. Find out what their interests are.

Once you make a conscious choice to take control of your life, you will realize that you have all the tools and the power you need to suceed. And remember, whether you think you will be successful or not, you will be right.

Just for fun, go to Borders, or Barnes & Noble, and pick out a few books for salespeople by Dale Carnegie. The first one you should read is "How to Win Friends and Influence People". and while you're there, scan the room to see what people are looking at.

When you see something that strikes your interest, apprach them and ask them their take on it. Get them to talk about it. Find out their name and remember that one detai about them that would make you recognize them again. If they ask about what you're reading, tell them you are learning about social relationships and building rapport.

Then after chatting for a minute, go get yourself a gourmet coffee and pat yourself on the back.

Joining a gym is not only a fun way to kick-start your seratonin production and release endorphins, but also a fun way to people watch and meet people. Big fitness centers have classes like kickboxing, spinning, etc. This will put you in close proxemity to others with similar interests. And as we all know, frequent contact with the same people promotes opportunities for potential friendships and lovers.

When you meet a friend or two, or a woman or two, you should then sign up for balroom dancing classes. This is a great way to be "the man" and take the lead, and to really romance a woman, learn the Tango. This is a physical expression of a partnership and joint effort. It is a great date idea.

Try to keep yourself busy (other then work) for 5 nights out of the week. I promise you will feel a millions times better if you stick to it for 8 weeks or so. You will feel a sense of accomplishment, experience, esteem, and pride.

I think that you may also find that your physical pain is manageable, since it's mostly psychological. You will be too busy to worry about it, anyway.