When dating non-white men, why do many white women seem to be drawn more to black guys as opposed to Asians?

Question

And no, I'm NOT implying that they shouldn't date black men in any way. I just seem to notice loads of white women with black partners and vice versa, but rarely with Asian (or even Chinese) men.

i) Is it down to looks..?
ii) cultural differenes...?
iii) Are some white women actually attracted to Asian men but don't feel they can approach them as easily as they can a black man...?

Am very curious from a social perspective, so welcome all answers. Racists preferably need not apply, unless you have a valuable insight to contribute.

Only 4 hours later and I've seen some very insightful and interesting answers so far. Just for the record, I'd also like to add that when I say 'Asian', I mean Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi or similar cultures.

I realised from reading some of the answers that in America, 'Asian' is defined as encompassing Chinese, Japanese and Filipino backgrounds.

Thank you for all your answers so far guys n' girls.

Answer 1

Good question aquadevante! A friend of mine has actually challenged me about this as I've dated white and black guys but never dated any Asian guys - that's Asian in the broadest sense i.e. Chinese, Japanese, Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi etc etc.

Its not that I've never found any Asians attractive but if I'm honest I haven't been attracted to too many. I tend to be attracted to strong features - big hands, strong jaws, big eyes - that kind of thing. Many Asians don't have those kind of features, just like not all black or white guys have them either. A few people have commented that asians tend to have slighter frames and whilst that is changing it is still quite common. Just in the same way you could spot a Bolivian of ameri-indian descent a mile off too for their shortness and squat features (and in my five weeks there a few years ago I don't think I find a single one attractive).

I also think there are more cultural barriers. People have already commented on the higher resistance to multi-racial relationships between white and asian people but it does go deeper than that. I respect muslims and their faith, but I would not convert to Islam and so if I dated a muslim there are complications from the outset. If they weren't prepared to renounce their religion (which is a HUGE ask of anyone) then the relationship would be time limited wouldn't it? Its not just about getting married and the question of children (or not), but accommodating faith. I mean what kind of relationship would it be if you were living together and come Ramadan I was sitting munching in the day, and heading to bed as his fast ended telling him to cook for himself because I was knackered?

The same goes for other faiths, I wouldn't convert to any other religion - I'd celebrate Christmas which would be weird with a Jewish boyfriend, and so on and so forth. I suspect that these are reservations many people have, although few would dare admit it. It's not for most a racist issue, but if one person's religion promotes marrying within that religion then it is nonetheless a big issue to consider in the greater scheme of things.

As for the myths, I don't think most people believe that any more - surely?

I think the bottom line is that the black community has in many ways integrated far more, so even where cultural difference exists there is a higher understanding and tolerance. Pakistan communities in particular have not integrated as well, something which they and others are trying to address now as so much racism has been allowed to breed as a result of that lack of cohesion and understanding. I think for many people that lack of understanding creates another barrier. Having said that, where I come from there are increasing numbers of white and asian couples although the stigma they experience within the wider community is ten times worse that any black and white couple I know have ever encountered. But maybe the fact these couples exist is a sign that things are slowly changing? Personally I hope so.

For me, so long as a guy has a good personality and qualities I find attractive, and will accept me for me then that's a pretty good start. I hope I've made sense?

Answer 2

I agree with those who say it's mostly a cultural thing that makes Asian (in the broad sense) men less attractive to white women. Asian countries tend to have long history and their people attach a lot of importance to their own culture. This could seem intimidating to a white woman who might feel that she would be forced to observe these customs. Black people, as most point out, share the mainstream culture and are culturally similar to the white population.

I think with more and more positive roles played by Asian actors in Hollywood movies, the trend is likely to change. I know quite a few white women who are crazy about Chow Yun Fat.

Answer 3

I've never had experience in either way, so I can only provide a possibility and not really speak for women who have dated inter-racially, but I suspect it may be a bit of a physical/cultural difference.

Please let me preface the remainder of this post by stating that I don't intend to be racist, but am simply stating existing physical differences between cultures. I do not mean offense to any individual, culture or group:

American women seem to have been raised with a cultural taboo against dating shorter men, for some reason. If you'll check the streets, although this trend is changing somewhat now, you'll still see many more women who are with taller men. And physically, those from Asian cultures overall don't seem to have the height that people of other heritages do.

Again, I am not meaning to be racist against anyone...I am not saying that there are no Asian men who are taller than American women or no Asian men who are tall. I am saying that physically, people of these ethnic backgrounds tend to be shorter.

Again, just a possible explanation.

Good question, thanks for making us think...

Answer 4

I think it's probably cultural, black and white are closer, asians nearly always end up with someone from their own circle even if they've had bf/gf's from another group. What someone said about physical stature is not far off wrong either. From a female perspective I prefer a man to have more physical presence. Most asians are alot smaller.

Answer 5

NJP is right(but not about penis size LOL), it would normally be family/religious reasons etc why Asian men or women dont have white other halfs. I married an Indian guy in secret as we both knew our familys would try to stop us if they found out before, but we are lucky enough that they gradually accepted it and are fine with it now. In my husbands situation, he would have been expected to have an arranged marriage or, at the very least, marry someone from his own religion and caste.

Also i have known a few Asian guys(not romantically) who have had white girlfriends but hidden it from their family and eventually they had arranged marriages anyway. Most arent willing to marry out of their own religion etc and go against their family.

Just wanted to add something that lemmysbabe made me remember. When i started using the internet in 2000, i would chat to anyone in the world at first but then i started avoiding Indian and Pakistani guys as they seemed to have the opinion that western girls were easy and a lot of them could be quite offensive so i thought it was easier not to even get into conversations with them.

Then i married an Indian(a non pervy guy), funny how life turns out!!

Answer 6

This is only an opinion but for a lot of white women, i believe it's a possibly subconcious in some cases but mostly to get sorta revenge on society or their parents/family. Another reason is yes, black men are easier to approach in most cases. Asians have a reputation (might not be true but i know ppl believe it) of being a bit close minded and stick to same race dating. I know this probably seems like an old and outdated opinion but i still think its often true.

Answer 7

Please believe me when I say I am not racist in any way shape or form, I am also not religious! (And I prefer to be called a Scot rather than Brit)
Not many Asians will tell you this, but I have worked with many, in their own countries and in the UK, I get on well with them, (even all religions) we have even had deep and non meaningful debates on various religions, we have even had a few laughs on the subject!
Also I do know when I am being 'wound up'!
I know quite a few British white women that are married happily to Asian men, but most of these Asian fellers and their parents have been around the UK for generations and have managed to 'adapt' good luck to them!
On the other hand many have not adapted, they follow guidance from their family, their families have taught them that women wearing mini skirt type of clothing are sluts!! And to say the least 'put it about a lot' They have been taught that a 'modicum of decency' is required by both men and women!
Lots of Asian men want their women to be 'decent' not slappers! That's one of many reasons why they go back to India or where ever to pick a bride, or have one picked for them by family members!
You may (or maybe not) have noticed that the opinion I have expressed I have picked up from Asian friends as we have chatted together, you will not get any of them to admit this in public of course, they are far too polite for that, but the truth is not many Asian men want a UK woman! Spoilt goods!!

Answer 8

I believe majority of people usually date within their own race. We are becoming more diverse as time goes on so the population of mixed racial relationship is always increasing. I think the main reason why more white woman date black men compared to white men dating black woman is just the black mans persistence. Black males will usual approach white woman easy and out of probability they will eventually get one. Woman are less likely to approach a male, and white males are less likely than a black male to approach a female. there are actually studies on this you could look up.

Answer 9

I think a lot of it is just the fact that many asians are just as parochial in their choice as most whites.
Black people seem not to be "resigned" so much to their own race.
Apart from that, I find black men generally sexually attractive in greater numbers than both Whites and Asians, a lot of them have more style and move as if their body belongs to them as opposed to walk around in the stiff manner a lot of the others do.

Answer 10

Maybe white women do go out with Asian men as much as they do Black men, but you just haven't noticed it!
I don't think it's a matter of culture or even race, it's a matter of who you are attracted to and who you fall in love with.