we have been together 5yrs we have three kids and i found out a year ago taht for 4yrs he was sleeping with his best friend who i let live with even though i new this man(his best friend) was gay. i never thought that would happen i cant beleave how dumb of me that was how do i get over this ive tried and want to keep trying for our children and i for some reason still love him
2006-09-23 04:03:14 · 7 answers · asked by anglebaby79 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will probably have to go to counseling to help you get over this. It's not easy getting over a spouse cheating with another woman but somehow you feel a little at ease with that. But when its a man, how do you begin to compete, you just can't. So you will need some extra help and time to heal from this betrayal. Because your hubby knew he was gay or at least bi when he married you and he also knew that is gay best friend was more than just a friend and failed to tell you and was having you and boyfriend at the same time. Now that's sick. Get the help you need and take the time that you need to heal.
2006-09-23 05:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to look at it a little differently...
Your husband cheated on you and that was wrong, and yes you have the right to be extremely upset about it. He should have told you. He has no excuse. Be upset...
On the other hand, I think you would have felt *much* worse had it been a woman, right? Because then it's a competition where you wonder, 'was she better than me? does he love her more?',is she prettier? thinner? better in bed?' and your mind wanders 'til it drives you crazy.
You husband is BI. He had an affair (?) with someone who could give him something you can't - not because he doesn't love you enough or you don't love him enough - but because you are not properly equipped. He should have told you but he may have felt you wouldn't understand or that you'd judge him.
BTW, you weren't "dumb". Unless your husband had mentioned or expressed a curiousity about being with a man, you would never have had any reason to suspect he might try it.
2006-09-23 04:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a great deal of counseling so that you will be able to understand that "IT WAS NOT YOU" that was the reason for this. Your partner may have been suppressing his feelings for a very long time and due to shame or lack of confidence in his feelings (or any other number of other reasons) was not able to come honest with himself. You have to get on with your own life and the lives of your children so that all of you will become whole again and have a normal existence. I wish you the best of luck and hope that one day you will meet a mate who will love you and cherrish you and your children.
2006-09-23 04:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by susan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always wondered how women didn't know there spouse was gay and that if it ever happened to me it would be better than them cheating with someone of the same sex because you not wondering what they have that you don't its obviouse and you couldn't change anything to give it to them.
2006-09-23 04:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him, or his wardrobe? lol
I'd be very concerned about him bringing home AIDS or Hepatitis...
You need councelling..and a divorce lawyer. Cheating is cheating, and I think your husband is probably gay too, just hasn't come out of the closet yet.
I feel sorry for you
2006-09-23 04:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by alphawolf38 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, he cheated on you and it wasn't even another woman. How do you even compete with that? You can't. I would be immediately turned off by him for that.
2006-09-23 04:33:09 · answer #6 · answered by sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is cheating...how can you trust him in anything, if he even keeps his sexual orientation from you?
2006-09-23 04:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋