What is the best way to arbitrate visitation issues after a separation agreement has already been signed?

Question

The agreement says that visitation will be agreed on by the
parents AND take place at MY residence one day a week.
It also says the wishes of kids will be taken into account.
Wife has used the latter to just put ALL the control in the
kids' hands; they of course don't want to be away from their
neighborhood and friends for even one day because they
know that would be disloyal to her. She is controlling them
without doing anything consciously, but it's a subtle way to
get around the agreement. I have always taken the high road
instead of threatening, etc. but my patience is wearing thin.
I would like to think the kids would eventually like to come to
my place one day a week, but I could wait forever and then I
would be even more alientated from them than since the
separation was signed. I have been visiting kids at THEIR
house on weekends for the last year; they have been used
to that and going to my house would be a slight change, as
I would bring them back Sunday.

Answer 1

WHO IS THE PARENT HERE< take her to court if she wont agree to MAKE the kids go to your house,, TOUGH for the kids,,

stop babying them or they will RULE you forever,, As parents esp when we divorce or seperate we always think POOR KIDS<< which is true,, but KIDS ARE NOT DUMB,, they will play each parent off the other one,, Mom said this, and Dad did this,, it is a game,, the sooner you shut down the game the better,

Answer 2

You seriously need a better lawyer. You, and everyone going through a divorce, need an agreement with details. The agreement should state a pick-up day and time, return day and time, and no mention of agreement between two people getting a divorce. Do you honestly believe this is not a conscious effort by your ex to maintain control? Get an agreement that has specifics and when you pick-up the children have activities planned. After a few weeks, the children will adjust and begin to look forward to time with you. Visiting them only at their house, especially if it was the location where the family lived prior to divorce, only keeps the hope going for them that their parents will reunite. The only way they will eventually want to come to your place one day a week is if they begin to adjust to that experience.

Answer 3

You should never have allowed the clause that lets the children's wishes be taken into account. I am really surprised your lawyer and the judge did not advise you to take that out. Kids are basically selfish when it comes to their time and can easily be manipulated by the custodial parent. You should go back to your lawyer and get that revised. I am a divorced mother and the mother of step-children. I am proud to say I never did anything to circumvent visitation or to make visitation difficult. Now that the children are grown they have an excellent relationship with both sets of parents. Your wife will regret it if she doesn't play fair. When the kids get old enough they will see through her manipulations and she will lose in the end. You have to stand up for your parental rights until she decides to stop using the children as pawns.

Answer 4

You can revisit visitation at any stage.