I insisted him to tell if he had any relationship and promised him that i wont fight with him if he had any. He told me he had more than 1 girl friends and he had sex with them many times.I really love him and want to trust him but im always scared what if do that again. Im beautiful he says that he loves me and always admire my looks but i don't trust him. What can i do to make him honest to me always?
2006-09-23 03:25:56 · 28 answers · asked by RK 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just be honest yourself, & to yourself
nothin much else u can do, can u !
never ever harp bout past, it's history
> remember., trust & faith are corner-stones in any relationship
2006-09-23 03:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by sεαη 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are worrying for no reason, or your just thinking of reasons to worry. Have a little faith in your relationship and the love he has shown you thus far.
So he had sex before, so what? Think of it this way, if he WAS a virgin, you would worry that he would want to see what it was like to be with other women.
You cant MAKE someone remain true to you, but you can show some trust since up to this point, he has earned it.
Stop looking for a reason to make yourself miserable and enjoy your marriage.
2006-09-23 10:30:34 · answer #2 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I insisted him to tell if he had any relationship and promised him that i wont fight with him if he had any"
Well then you have to live up to your word, dont you.
He chose you. He left them. You're the one he wants to be wtih. Become his companion, his best friend, his confidant, the mother of his children, and his constant comfort.
The Prophet "on Marriage" by Khalil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said...
"And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings
of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow.
2006-09-23 10:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by SillyQuestion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very important element in a relationship and it is required if one is going to be successfull in life not just in marriage. I had the same issue with a girl friend in the past and when our relationship got started everything that we did from that day counted and i did not let her past bother me because i was not involved with her back then.
2006-09-23 11:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is No WAY!
Trust and LOVE are Blind!
Use your Instincts!
Any man that confesses to be a Virgin at point of marriage is either lying or Has lead a Sheltered life!
Talk to him Openly!
Only then will you know if this relationship is set for the Future!
2006-09-23 10:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have some unrealistic expectations there...the past is over with...so don't hold on to it.
Everyone has experiences, and not all of them meet the standards of other people, but as long as he is not currently cheating, holding his past against him is just going against your word that you wouldn't pick a fight over it. Maybe you should start by being honest and trustworthy yourself. Killing the communications like this is a good way to cause your new marriage to fail.
2006-09-23 11:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very few men or women... unfortunately these days are virgins when they get married. other than making sure.. neither one of you have a sexual disease... the women he dated before you is none of your business. he married you. all you can do is love him and enjoy your marriage...and life together..until he shows you differently. just because he had women before you does not mean he will cheat. however there is nothing you can do..to make him honest always. you may not even be honest always. stop worrying about the future and enjoy the present.. or you are going to push him away.
2006-09-23 10:31:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him be honest with you unless he chooses to be. You should have sorted all this out before you married him, it's too late now. You'll just have to trust him and hope for the best. The only other option is to get out now and be wiser in your choices next time.
2006-09-23 10:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by NannyMcPhee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
work on actively listening, share your thoughts and feelings with him, and make sure he knows you love him no matter what.
Suggest you let him know how you feel about things, that you wish a very good loving and passionate relationship with him.... that sex, communication, listening, respect, trust, honesty, and working hard together are all very important qualities to you, to him, and to making your marriage work for the next hundred years, or so.
Life and relationships are hard!!!! you are already seeing this, and you're just getting started. Think about what you can do to be giving, supportive, loving, helpful and cooperative with him and the things he wants in life. Love and support him to do the same with you.
Work on actively listening to each other. Read up on the internet on GOOD wholesome web sites (and paperback books) about relationships.... yet 'YOUR' focus should always be on what you can do to make things better for him......... and that "HE" would and should be focusing on what will improve the life he leads with you.
Be positive and upbeat.... its ok to have concerns and worries, but don't let them rule you........ 'you' choose what is important, and focus on that. you can and will be successful--------especially the more you focus on it and believe in yourself.
Be careful with statements like you made------I love him "BUT"...... Ideally you simply LOVE him. period. It is when you've got reservations that the two of you need to work harder and longer on your marriage, on your communication, on developing and building positive trust between each other.
Accepting for who he is, gives him the opportunity to accept you for who you are. None of us, in any relationship are capable of being without fault, without issues or problems. The real challenge in life isn't the problems we face, but what we DO about them...... how positively do we handle things, and how well do we ACT to make things better for the next time around.
I wish you all the best and hope this insight is helpful.
2006-09-23 10:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by megettingbetter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Get a life and don't worry about what he did in the past. Worry about what he's doing now. Besides, is what he did a years ago before you two were a "thing" any of your business?
2006-09-23 10:29:10 · answer #10 · answered by roshambo76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, how do you marry someone and not know that?
Thats not a good relationship because it is such a small thing that shouldve been discussed way long before you said yes to him to marry him.
2006-09-23 10:27:40 · answer #11 · answered by Wite Out 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋