My partner and I split up last night - and he told me that towards the end the 'spark' had gone for him and that he didn't find me attractive any more. Was it completely necessary to tell me that bit, or would he have been better keeping it to himself?! Cheery comments most welcome please....I'm feeling very ugly and unloved right now!
2006-09-23 03:00:33 · 38 answers · asked by Lily & Stu Too 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If HE doesn't find you attractive anymore thats about HIM not you!
Of course its cutting and either he was trying to give you any explanation ( you could have been asking why why why!???) or he means it or he needed to lie for some stupid male reason.
I would view this as a reason to cut him out of your life for at least 6 months - I'm assuming you have no kids...
Get yourself back on track and go out and rule the world again.
I doubt you are anything like the way you feel today, and as much as this is a double edged sword, I've heard that excuse when the man is chasing/has caught another woman (these relationships never work!)
Look after yourself, call in the girlie troops, too much wine is allowed for a little while, then pick yourself up and dust yourself off for the man who really deserves you
2006-09-23 03:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by zara c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he was just being a heartless shite with no respect! So what if the 'spark' had gone, mayb he shouldnt have been such a failure and found a way of getting it back for the two of you to carry on and be happy together in the relationship! See, so maybe it wasnt your fault, why change a womans habit of a lifetime anyway....its always his fault!
Im sure you'll find someone better than him soon, just go careful and be that bit more choosey!
Good luck!! x
2006-09-23 05:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have been dumped :( It's always painful when a relationship comes to an end.
I have to say I think it shows respect for you that he gave you a reason, which is a positive thing. Many men are too coward to say it, and just start behaving oddly and ignoring your calls so that you dump them first! I guess we're all different; I'd personally rather know why I was dumped, or I'd constantly be asking myself what happened and wondering if he'd met someone else.
On the up-side, people who have loved are much more likely to love again - so it will happen, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
2006-09-23 03:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by Fredlet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
theres no need to feel very ugly and unloved right now. its not you, its him. the reason i say that is because he's not looking at you in the same way as he did in the beginning, and that is screwing up in his head at the moment. it would be necessary for him to tell you this because had it gone further in the relationship and he not told you how he felt towards you now, your life would seem better but wouldnt be because he's not being completely honest with you, and had you two got married things would have become complicated for the both of you. mayb now you can go out and have fun with your friends and let him take this break from you. mayb then would he realise how much he misses you and wants to be with you, and at the same time if he doesnt, then there's nothing you can do but move on with your life. it isnt easy, but you cant let one guy affect your entire life. and mayb you can make him become jealous at the same time.
2006-09-23 03:08:08 · answer #4 · answered by kristyb872001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This must be hard for you ...but trust me you will get over it because us women are stronger than men lol if he didnt tell you why hes does not want to be with you anymore ,, because as women need an answer for everything even if it hurts ...u'd be at him wondering why? if this is a long relationship like over 4 year this just could be a row and a tiff and he'll be back if not forget him ..i know its hard , but you can do it!! show him your getting off better .. he'll soon realise whats he's lost good company and all his loss (keep telling your self that )
better being single in somecases ; ) take care go out and see friends
2006-09-23 03:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by chaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so very sorry that someone you cared about didn't care enough to try to soften the blow for you. It's bad enough to get dumped but when they start to list all the reasons why, it's just cruel. I wish you luck in your healing and hope that you find someone worthy of your love. I am going through the same thing right now and I know it's hard. But as many have told me, life goes on and time heals all things. This too shall pass. Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-23 03:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would've been better keeping it to himself, that was a little too mean!! He coulda just said "I would like to date other people, so I an gonna break up with you, this way we both have a chance to find other dates." or something not as hurtful!! I mean, c'mon, was there ANY reason for him to be so mean?! If you feel so ugly, which you aren't, and unloved, which you aren't (again), call up a close friend if they are home. Do something nice, don't think about him. It willl only make matters worse for you, my friend. Do something that you wouldn't dare do around him, and enjoy your single self again. Flirt a little. Just have a little fun and be yourself.
2006-09-23 03:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this situation men are 'damed if they do and damed if they don't'. But yes it was completely necessary for him to tell you that because otherwise you would keep asking yourself the question Why? Obviously his senses are dulled or maybe obliterated by your inner beauty which is fully apparent from the way you write. He just doesn't deserve somebody like you - Don't worry - The right man for you is out there
2006-09-23 03:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Drummer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at yourself in the mirror and assess what you think may have gone wrong honestly, there is always two sides but remember people don't change you are what you are maybe go for someone you have things in common with especially outside the eating/pub dancing bit and do not try too hard
Always remember though it is men who get the most rejections in life
2006-09-23 03:45:05 · answer #9 · answered by retroman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sorry to hear you are down. Truthfully there's no way to dump someone and make it not hurt. It would be just as pain-full no matter what he had said.
He gets the thumbs down for his insensitivity though. You'll be much better off in the long run and I'm sure lots of others will find you much more attractive than he ever did. Have fun dating again... :)
2006-09-23 03:05:43 · answer #10 · answered by letem haveit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋