a husband claims he wanted children, but is upset about wife being pregnant "sooner than he wanted". He tells her he's not happy and not sure if he loves her anymore, but acts nice at home wanting to eat dinner with her and watch movies with her later after telling her this. The wife is confused but certain that he's lost interest in her. Any guesses on what's the deal with the husband? Why flip flop being happy about the child one month, then upset all over again, now saying he's not sure about loving her anymore?
2006-09-23 02:20:10 · 8 answers · asked by Skypride 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He's scare. And he has every right to be. Parenthood is a BIG commitment. If they both agreed to wait for children he may feel that she has betrayed him. Loyalty and Respect are big issues.
Of course he's not happy and unsure of his feelings. She made the ultimate decision without his input. Saying you want children and going out and having one are two different things. He could very well be afraid that he can't do both. Be a father and a husband. Ask him what he is feeling rather than assuming he's no longer interested.
2006-09-23 02:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by etheraiel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably has something to do with the thought of untimely responsibility as a father. He probably immediately panicked at the thought that he's having a child and his responsibility as a husband and a father will be much bigger once the child emerges and at much earlier time than he planned. That same panicky experience might have caused him to say he's unhappy and not sure if he loves her anymore... he's not actually thinking well at that very moment. Maybe because he may have setup for himself a timetable as regards having children and was disappointed that his timetable will not actually work at all after knowing the pregnancy was ahead of schedule.
However, he may be regretting his initial reactions ESPECIALLY the "not sure if he loves her anymore" thing so he tries to mend that mistake by acting nice at home -- like being sweet with her -- but is actually afraid to admit that he committed a mistake by demonstrating a bad reaction. Definitely, he's hoping that the wife will not ask him about his initial reactions again or he'll feel very, very stupid.
Opening up will straighten things up. But I wonder if one of them already have thought of that?
2006-09-23 09:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he had a bad day when the news arrived... I think that news would of made his day better but some people are different !
Maybe he will get over it and move on... we all say things at one time or another that we shouldn't of, it just slips out... The bad part is that you CANNOT take back words said. An apology will only help ease those words but never make them go away!
2006-09-23 09:36:17 · answer #3 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unexpected pregnancy can lead to a bunch of different emotions. Unfortunately, some people say things as they are going through these emotions instead of holding them inside.
He needs to understand that she is in a very vulnerable state -- that pregnancy can really screw up the hormones and the way that people deal with things. They need to work through some of this -- if he is just afraid for his future, or what.
Do they have anyone they could talk to (clergy, friends, therapist) that could help them work some of this out?
The October Parents Magazine has a very good article written from the male and female side of an unexpected pregnancy. It was very truthful and because my own pregnancy was unexpected and our marriage was rocky for awhile, I really related to it -- to his feelings, as well as hers.
2006-09-23 09:33:46 · answer #4 · answered by kaliselenite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very emotional, almost unstable, maybe he needs a quick kick in the pants to bring him back to reality
2006-09-23 09:33:17 · answer #5 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be scared..but wow saying he's not sure he loves you anymore because you got pregnant to soon...that's alittle extreme
2006-09-23 09:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by barbi316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe scared of the responsibility.Having a child meand you yourself are past childood.
2006-09-23 09:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mood swings
2006-09-23 09:34:12 · answer #8 · answered by blank 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋