9 months ago I took a temp job maternity cover. After two months they made it permanent. Now the new mother has come back part time and is making my life hell criticising everything I do. I am 49 she is 44 we are not children but it feels like a power struggle & I'm losing. I don't want to keep changing jobs, but for 3 day a week I dread going in.
2006-09-23 02:03:45 · 28 answers · asked by sandra s 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
Bullying at work is no joke. If she carries on, see your manager. If you get no joy there, then go to the personnel dept. Your employer has a legal responsibility to sort this out & take care of you.
If this lady feels threatened, she will have to find a way past it. Please do not allow yourself to be chased out by a bully.
2006-09-23 02:06:47 · answer #1 · answered by Well, said Alberto 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi! You are obviously doing such a good job that she feels threatened by you, hence all the criticism. Always remember, it's never about you when someone is like this, it's ALWAYS about them.
She's probably struggling with the baby, running a home and working as well and won't admit it. You're just her scrapegoat.
I won't patronise you by telling you to try and ignore it, that's virtually impossible by the sound of things. If it really is unbearable, next time she criticises you, grit your teeth and ask her how she would do the job and tell if she can give you any advice/ideas/pointers etc., that would really help you.
If that fails you need to speak to your line manager. You don't have to make a formal complaint, just a quiet word should do it, and if your line manager is any good, he or she will be empathic towards you both.
This girl is being a bully and your employers should have a policy covering this, so if all else fails you might have to implement it.
I really feel for you, and I wish you all the very best.
2006-09-23 09:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by Moofie's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this may sound like the last thing you want to hear, but could you try talking to her socially? At present I imagine she doesn't see you as a person but as a job-thief. She clearly feels threatened by you and is criticising you because you do the job well - not because you do it badly.
She might also be angry with the company for not having more loyalty (noone likes to feel they can be replaced just like that), and she's probably exhausted with her baby.
I'm not saying all these things make it acceptable behaviour, just that you could try the personal approach before making an official complaint. She will find it a lot harder (and less tempting) to be nasty to you if you have had a pleasant conversation, even if it's just a few minutes my the coffee machine.
I'd only get the management involved as a last resot, as in my experience it's generally fruitless (unless things are really really awful), messy, awkward, and will make her dig her heels in even more.
Good luck...
2006-09-23 09:19:08 · answer #3 · answered by Fredlet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would call a meeting with the boss and her and yourself. I would say something real close to what you've said here. You like your new position and you want to stay, but you are feeling that (who-ever-she-is) doesn't like your work, or perhaps that there is a personality conflict. Tell them since you really like the job, that you are hoping this lil' meeting can bring resolution to the situation. Be prepared to give good and quantifiable examples of why you feel this way. Ask if here is anything you can do to make things more amiable? Always be calm and professional in this type of discussion, and good luck!
2006-09-23 09:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by jude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been doing this for 9 months. Not 9 days or weeks, MONTHS. If they made you permanent, means they see that you have the potential to improve and thats why they kept you on.
Missy has returned to someone who can take her job and thats why she is so mean to you. Thats exactly what she wants you to do "run".
A kind word turns away wrath. Try talking to her if that fails, see management. Leave only if they fire you. And it doesn't look like they want you gone. Hang in there you can do it.
2006-09-23 09:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by suggary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't leave.
You have to know what your priority is. If it Is it to keep this job so stay there.
In every job there are good and bad colleagues. Asl ong as you don't do the same back.
In a similar situation , when she started to shout at me for no reason, I calmly asked my colleague if there was something that I had done to make her angry.
She answered 'no', so I then calmly asked her in that case not to vent her anger at me.
It got our feelings into the open and we then both started to talk about it.
Remember you don't deserve to be mistreated. This is bullying which happens to be a crime.
IF this does not solve problems you may need to keep a diary of events and use this in a HR meeting
2006-09-23 09:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by pulldeplug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi it won't be easy but gently confront her, it sounds like she has confidence issues and is trying to make herself feel better by belittling you. Feel sorry for her and explain that there is obviously enough work for both of you, stick it out, she is the one with the problem and obviously feels threatened. Sometimes talking to someone allows you to know them better and understand where they are coming from, she may have baby blues, or could just not be a nice person, but stick your ground the company wants you, if all else fails talk to your boss and see if there is another place you could sit or work. Good Luck.
2006-09-25 10:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by bombshell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a diary of incidents. Be precise, don't exaggerate. When you have compiled a dossier go to the ombudsman in your town and get them to figure out your case . It sounds like you are being bullied in the workplace, and that is AGAINST the law. If necessary seek damages for a modest amount, i,e, 5 years wages £25,000 whichever is the most
2006-09-23 09:28:46 · answer #8 · answered by xenon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No why should you leave because of someone else, you should speak to a supervisior or manager and tell them the problem and they might be able to sort something out. The other women is just probably jealous, they obviously think your suitable for the job cos why else would have they taken you on permenently.
2006-09-23 09:17:15 · answer #9 · answered by crazycoolsara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are there is another employer out there who could use your services where you could be the one in power. It never hurts to look around and even interview.
Sounds to me like she may be threatened by how well you are doing your job. Maybe she is just looking at anything you do that might not be perfect and criticising it.
2006-09-23 09:08:34 · answer #10 · answered by Brian G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you really need to nip this in the bud, by the sounds of it she is really jelious.
I think it would be best to report it to your boss, if things dont change take a greivence procedure out on her im sure your company will take bullying very seriously, why should you be pushed out of a job that you love because some cow is on a power trip.
Bring her down a peg or two the right way and lets see who has the last laugh. take care and good luck (kick ***) xx
2006-09-23 09:15:23 · answer #11 · answered by dumb bunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋