then she went for a couch potatoe, and now she is with this ugly, possessive pr**k who won't even let her go to the john alone. I have tried speaking with her, ya know.........you are smart, good looking, you don't need him ect. But to no avail. She started lieing to all of her friends because of this man, none of her friends like him. I have tried to be supportive, but I can't stand liars, so it's hard. And, yes, I have caught her in lies. I am not trying to be controlling, and I don't think I am jealous. I want her to be happy, just not with an abusive man. And he is abusive. I'm not sure what to do now. Please help. Thank you
2006-09-23 02:01:10 · 5 answers · asked by aawatson3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you have told her how you feel, that is all you can do!!
2006-09-23 02:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like what my friends say about my ex-boyfriend! Are you sure you don't know me?? lol!
For one, having been through this nightmare myself, the best thing you can do is to try and educate her as to what is really happening to her.
Most women who are in emotionally abusive relationships don't realize it until it's too late. The emotional abuser has made her psychologically dependent on him. And from there, getting out is a process!
There's a great book out there. It's titled, "Why does he do that?". I suggest you go pick it up for her and then read it yourself and then give it to her.
Women who are in your friend's situation feel like they're screwed without a kiss. You love the man because in a lot of ways HE IS nice to you. Your family and friends hate him because he's a controlling jerk. Your kids hate him cuz he tries to control them too. But, you my dear, have been told over and over again that he can't live without you and you cannot live without him. Pretty soon, you believe all of the lies because a sort of brainwashing takes effect.
ESPECIALLY IF YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP WAS NOT ALL FLOWERY AND PRETTY EITHER!
To help your friend, you need to educate yourself into the psychology of domestic violence. I'd suggest you quit ragging on her and bad mouthing him and look for ways that you can help her by just being there for her.
She knows what's going on. She just needs to figure out how to get out of it. Having everybody tell her what an ****** he is, isn't helping. It's just making her feel like everybody's against him which in turn is another blow to her self esteem. It will make her need him even more!
Read the book and then talk to her! You will then figure out the right way of helping her through the process!
Good Luck!
2006-09-23 02:19:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he's abusive, then maybe you should call the police. Or probably the best thing to do is stay away from her so it won't bother you so much and all she does is lie about him. It's her fault that she won't do anything about it, not your's.
2006-09-23 02:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by sweetchick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some girls just love to be used and abused..not much you can do but help pick up the pieces when it's over...
2006-09-23 02:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by MC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apparently you love your friend. she needs your love and support. whenever she wants to discuss her relational problems, be there for her. dont push her (you dont like people pushing about issues you are not ready to face), give her time. you said you want her to be happy. have you asked her if she's happy? if she is, leave her to deal with the shortcomings of the men. no man is perfect. just dont tell her "i told you so" when it turns bad.
2006-09-23 02:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by gentle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋