my cousin fell in luv with this guy and she married him. it was a luv marriage... and now shes 24 and has 2 daughter with that guy... and he took her gold, her money and left!!!!!!!! the poor thing i feel so sorry for her. i mean she loved him and he married her for money!!!!! he left her and his daughters!!!!! he left them and know says that he's gonna marry again and doesnt want her!!!!!!!!! it hurts me to see this.. she was blind in his love.
i have seen some similar cases of this type and believe me have lost my faith of marriage.......
it hurts..... he's unbelievable he doesnt even care about his daughters!!!!! after seeing all these kinnda cases i start gettin second thoughts about marriage
2006-09-23 01:29:37 · 18 answers · asked by coco 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
im just a 16yearold
2006-09-23 01:37:35 · update #1
im just a 26yearold girl
2006-09-23 01:38:01 · update #2
It has nothing to do with marriage. He would have left her even if they weren't married and the situation would not have been any easier.
2006-09-23 01:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by toietmoi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sort of thing happens all the time. People shouldn't even consider marriage until they are in their mid-twenties and for some it should be later. Most young people don't have the maturity or wisdom to choose a spouse before then because they don't have the life experience to keep from making a terrible mistake.
Your cousin did not make a decision based on wisdom, but followed her heart only. That is never wise. It takes about one and one half years to get to know someone well enough to consider marriage. To avoid making the same mistake your cousin made, do not marry too early and find out all you can about a man before getting engaged to him. Find out whether the man has a criminal record. Observe everything about him - is he kind, does he think of your needs before his own, is he vindictive or cruel, does he only want boy children, does he have the same religious or spiritual beliefs you do, does he like his mother (if he likes his mother and has a good relationship with her he will be more likely to genuinely like women).
And if you live in a country in which women have no rights, or very little rights, and you don't want to go through what your cousin went through, consider not marrying at all in your country. Try to find a way to move to another country where you have rights and are protected by the law so no man can ever get away with doing the same thing to you.
There are men like your cousin's husband all over the world. Fortunately in the West there are laws to protect women and children from men like that.
Please read the book, "10 Stupid Thingss Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. You can order it from her website or from Amazon.com.
2006-09-23 09:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by LadyLgl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you - 16 or 26!
Marriage is not for you - you are not honest enough
to stand a chance in the real world.
Your so-called cousin had a very bad experience.
Her run-away husband can not re-marry until he is
divorced from your so-called cousin.
He will have to pay child support.
Meanwhile she could ask her wealthy family to
help her out. I assume her family is well off - since
you mentioned "he took all her gold and money".
You shouldn't look at to many other cases like this - concentrate
on your own case - maybe you will find the right guy.
Just be honest and don't make up stories that are just hogwash!
2006-09-24 12:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant let this sour your thoughts on marriage. I met my husband the day I graduated HS he was/is my best friends cousin and we dated for 2 years and have been married for 17 years now. Part of the problem is too many (not your cousin) don't work through the rough spots together and divorce is to easy an option and people rush into marriage. If you take time to learn about the other person and their values you will have a much better chance on staying married. People don't talk about important stuff before they jump into marriage and then they fall apart when they learn stuff after they are married.
Marriage is hard work sometimes but it is worth it.
2006-09-23 08:45:58 · answer #4 · answered by NotSoTweetOne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any marriage these days is a gamble, it can be a less of a gamble by knowing your partner, know their ethics - I for one, vowed before God to stay married til death - I took this promise very seriously (marriage should be taken very seriously) - in all honestly - i could have left him a few times, we went through some hellish years, but we stuck it out and now life is good, better than the first months of marriage. We didn't but I think couples should have marriage counseling before they get married, I think it would have save my marriage a lot of heartache. There is more to marriage than just love, love is a small part of it, you have to have compatible parenting styles, morals, likes, dislikes; you need mutual respect; you need friendship even more than passion.
Just approach relationships and marriage with your eyes open and if it does get serious - do the marriage counseling first!
18 1/2 years!!
2006-09-23 08:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by Rosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, not all men marry just for money, but history is usually full of this type of marriage. Most often the male will not divorce due to the fact that it cost him way too much. If the money was hers through a inheritance, then she can get it all back. That is if she has the desire to sue him in divorce. Also, he has to take care of those little girls, schooling clothing, doctoring, health care and even college....she needs to get to a good lawyer, if she lives in Southern Calif. I know a great divorce lawyer.
As to the sad side, it is, but be not discouraged, for there is that knight in shinning armor out there, there really is, I married one, and guess what. My son, met the nicest girl in College, they got married and after they got married he found out that she was really wealthy, he loved her before he ever knew, and he loves her now, they have a son too, and they are doing wonderful. One thing my son did, of which I am very proud of, he told his wife, that he would never ask for, nor expect not touch her money. He works and supports them himself, all be it he has a great job and makes 6 figures. But you see, there are those that really marry for LOVE. I have been married longer than most people I know, and I married at 20, the guy I met in college for LOVE...It can last, its heart breaking when it doesn't.
2006-09-23 12:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by kickinupfunf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u r just 16 u r too young to worry about marriage right now. you have plenty of time. however.. it is sad about your cousin. but all men are not the same..and all marriages are not the same. your cousin just has to do like everyone else that has ended up in her position. move on with life... after a divorce.. get child support... try to get a better education... or job... and seek positive support from family and friends. also do not jump back into another relationship... until she gets her own life together,.with her children
2006-09-23 08:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry this happened to your cousin. The guy she married sounds like a real money-hungry deadbeat. Whoever he is marrying now should be warned about him...and your cousin should definitely go after him for child support. If he doesn't pay, he can go to jail.
2006-09-23 08:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by cassicad75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have talked to my late mother before she died last year. She decided she had to divorce my ex-father in 1972 after almost 31 years of marriage because of his sudden descent into depravity, affairs, and God only knows what else. Before that, he had given every appearance of being a decent man and then, BOOM!! Everything just went to hell, a place where I have no doubt that he is headed. You never really know who you're married to until IT happens.
2006-09-23 08:39:09 · answer #9 · answered by In Honor of Moja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not him then don't worry about getting married unles you are marrying him.
As for your cousin, all you can do is help her out with a good lawyer. If the money he took was hers going intothe relationship then it should still be hers and the courts will make him give it back.
guys like him exist. Be glad that you are not one of them. And be happy for your family to to be rid of such a man.
2006-09-23 08:36:11 · answer #10 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋