My ex and i have been seperated for 2 years, finally getting the divorce finished now.Shes been with a guy for a while now and i have been pretty much single for those couple years.Heres the thing, everytime she has even a suspicion that I am seeing someone she proceeds to flip out on me and act all jealous and stuff. We have 2 children and try to get along for their sake and we know we arent going to work out.Normally we get along well but as i said she has these fits and gets evil.Just hopin some of you ladies could tell me what is wrong in her head or somethin.
2006-09-23 00:49:08 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
some of you have said you needed more details, heres a few,we were together for 10 years, first loves and all that, we were married for 3 of the ten,she left me for a guy she met,I tried for a straight year to get back with her,i finally sorted everything out and stopped that and only live for my kiddies now.As far as other women in my life interacting with my children I dont let it happen unless your talkin "daddy has a friend stop by".No kissy huggy lovey stuff goin on in front of my monkeys.I dont want them to get any wrong ideas and dont wanna put someone in their life unless im sure about her.I hope that makes a lil sense and clears up some questions on my question lol. Thanks for the answers so far, most of you are very helpful.
2006-09-23 01:38:58 · update #1
Josh, I am sorry about the break up of your marriage, and I am even sorry that you got a ex-wife that is doing this Dr, Jekyle and Mrs. Hyde on you. First thought came into my mind, was she wants her cake and eat it too. It's an old expression--she wants you but she wants her freedom too...
Second thought, I think could be it....How dare you move on with your life! You are suppose to be lying on your bed crying your eyes out, missing her, wanting her back....How can you just forget her so easily? She's upset that you have pulled yourself up and got your life back together.
The lady has some problems, and she needs to leave you alone, she is the one that left....so she should give your freedom back to you. I agree you should be on speaking terms for the kids sakes, but that's it. When she broke the wedding vows, and left-she gave up any rights on who you see or what you do. She needs to get over the fact, that you have moved on....
I think that you not introducing the "monkeys" to everyone woman you date is a great idea. You love your kids, and you can tell by how you are putting them first in your life. Seems you got yourself together, but for the crazy ex....and I am not sure how you are going to get her off your back, hopefully she will fall in love or lust with someone that will keep her totally occupied. She's angry and hurt because she didn't crush you...I am so glad she didn't......try to keep your private life private...tell her you won't talk about anything other than the kids with her, and she gave up the right to know anything that is happening in your life now, just like you don't have any in hers.....Good luck with the ex, and enjoy those little monkeys they grow so fast....
God bless us all.....................
2006-09-23 05:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is so much that we do not know. If this lady is really over you, she would not be acting like this, unless, you are agitating it. What are you doing to get her all riled up? Are you following the guidelines of the divorce, when you get the kids, do you put them in front of your lady friends, and they go home and talk about it? What do you say to the kids about your lady friends, and they go home and tell mom, and then gets on you for telling them? There is just so much that will make her go mad on you, that could be bringing this on. I don't want to seem like I am taking up for her, since I am a woman, but this is what I hear women complain about the most, is the kids being around you women friends all the time, they think that it should be time just for you and the kids. Did you run around on her, she might just want to kick your behind some more, since she can do that now and not live with you. You could be a little angel in all of this, but on the other hand, you might be a little devil. Which are you? Once you analyze it, then you will know. How does she even know that you have a girlfriend, do you tell her? Keep that info to yourself and you might not have this problem. Also, don't comment about her men friends too.
2006-09-23 01:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by shardf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women can be vindictive hon, and it sounds like she is jealous, was she like that in your marriage, a little bit of a control issue going on maybe......I think it is great that you are trying to get along for the children's sake, that is what is more important now.
She may have feelings for you still, but they sure do not sound like healthy feelings. She may be a little jealous about having another woman in the children's lives too, many immature women have an issue with this.
Good Luck, and love those children.
2006-09-23 01:04:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been separated from my husband for 2 years, we're just now getting a divorce and I've been seeing someone for over a year. He just started dating a girl (19 years old..he's 26.....gross) about 4 months ago. We have a 5 year old little boy. I've never met his girlfriend...I've seen her picture though, and she's ugly and she talks ignorant and despite all that, I am jealous of her because she has his love now, not me. You're ex is probably insecure and jealous. It's human nature. I don't want my husband, but I don't want anyone else to have him either!! It's immature, selfish, and unfair. It'll take time, but she'll get used to you being with someone else. I'm finally to the point where I can let our son meet his "girlfriend". My son is actually going to stay with his father for a week! No big deal, except he lives in another state!! In time, your ex will chill out and get over it. Good luck!!
2006-09-23 01:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by gidget 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are just evil.
If she can't have you, no one ever will. She wants to be happy with another man and you miserable with no one.
I just found out my ex is getting married. We've been divorced for 7 years! He hasn't talked to his son in 4 years! He only lives 30 minutes away! Anyways, the first thing my friends said to me is "aren't you mad at him?" I didn't know I was supposed to be mad at him for getting on with his life. I feel sorry for the girl but that's not my problem. I found another man that is way better than he ever was.
You are doing the right thing with your kids too. Just be polite to her because of the kids and get on with your life. Either she will get over it or she will spend the rest of her life being miserable. Women are hard to understand. I don't think you should try to understand them. I'm a woman and I don't understand them sometimes.Just live your life and take care of the kiddos.
2006-09-23 04:44:29 · answer #5 · answered by danadeville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a few things. It seems she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but she doesn't want anyone else to be either. She may want you to be miserable, for whatever reason, she can't handle the fact that your able to love another women instead of her, She may not want another women around her children, or she's playing games with you, trying to keep you under her thumb. Whatever it is, you can't let her do it. Move on with your life. Eventually she'll get used to it.
2006-09-23 01:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no expert.... but, sounds like she harbours feelings, she has not dealt with. You should know her pretty well, being married to her and having children. I would wait till the time is right, and ask her... "what is troubling her", and what can you do to make it better. I don't see how that could hurt. I am betting, if you ask sincerely, she may just open up and tell you. Good luck to you, and may God bless you for trying to resolve this.
2006-09-23 01:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Cashmere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong in her head is that she still believes that you belong to her. Believe me, my ex has done the same stuff. However, I let him know in no uncertain terms that I would live my life the way I see fit and he could take his temper tantrums and stick them. Once that was accomplished, he really hasn't given me too much crap. Also, I believe that time has had a lot to do with it. It took almost four years to quit "pining" if you will. Now, we get along famously and our child benefits from it.
2006-09-23 00:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are confusing.
She prob knows things won't work out but yet she can't fully let go of EVERYthing.
Perhaps she still feels connected to you, esp since you have kids.
Don't bother so much about her tantrums.
The divorce is final and you should start thinking about the rest of your new life.
2006-09-23 01:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a connection because of the children. She may not want you back as her husband, but she has memories of you a partner with her. She may still need some time and probably some counseling to get over this.
2006-09-23 01:32:01 · answer #10 · answered by Lioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋