So I'm in a relationship with my bud, just like that to brokeback. Im like Jack and he Ennis. Things are just going along well, our freindship/relationship is very complicated, were best freinds from college, and share greek love(all happend at some unexpected point), and its all in the name of fun and comrodary. We dont consider ourselves gay, hes the only man ive been with and vice versa. So heres my problem I want something more, I use to be OK with the Greek love concept, but its real vague, im somehow stuck in the brokeback delima, I told him my feelings for him, he feels the same way, but he does not call what we have a relationship. So he tells me, that He just wants it the way it is, and not to change it. I dont know, im stuck with being inlove with this guy, and wanting a life with him, but he calls this all "fun." Id hate to end up like, ennis and jack both wasting their lives. What do I do?
2006-09-22 23:38:27 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why are there so many vindictive f-ags in this category. No wonder people dont Post here. I AM NOT GAY, if you have a problem with that--DEAL WITH IT. Geez. Keep the gay pride to yourself.
2006-09-23 00:01:14 · update #1
Lets get over the "gay or not gay" thing. This is a prime example of where labels can be harmful, or certainly not helpful. A big part of why your partner doesn't want to take the relationship farther is the stigma he attaches to the "gay" label.
Sad to say, you have probably two ways to go. Continue on as you have, and hope that you're able to maintain it that way, or lay it on the line and tell him flat out, this is not enough for me. I can't get together every now and then, make out like bunnies, and then go back to my everyday life until the next time both schedules match. You would tell him that for you it is all or nothing, and if you can't have it all from him, you're going to cut it off, and look for another relationship where you can have it all. And then do it. It hurts, you won't like it, but if he can't do it this way, maybe it's best that you move on.
Which ever way you go, make a decision and live with it. Don't sit there waiting for a change, if you don't do something to make it change. Good luck to you.
2006-09-23 02:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, the gay/not gay remarks are pointless - why are people so hung up on labels?!?! You can't help who you fall in love with - man or woman - and I personally think it's very healthy to be open to possibilities wherever they happen.
If you and your friend can't agree on what to call your "relationship" (it is a relationship, by the way...any two people who have anything to do with each other have a relationship...it's whether it's a romantic one or not that's up in the air here), then you're probably going to run into all sorts of problems in the future.
It does sound like your friend doesn't feel the same way about you as you do him - otherwise, he'd want it to be more, too. You would probably be better off trying to find someone who shares your feelings and pursue that.
I know how hard this can be - good luck! :-)
2006-09-23 02:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by tsdeck5 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, who are you calling a vindictive f*g? YOU posted in the LGBT category, YOU are the one having sex with a man, and YOU are the one who says you are in the love with this same man.
And you're not gay?
You're bi at best, but whatever you want to call it, move on. He's not going to give you anything more than sex and you will end up wasting your life just like Jack and Ennis did in the movie.
Oh, and if you don't want to hear any of our "gay pride" don't post questions about having sex with other men-or don't post questions in the LGBT section, it'll save you the trouble.
2006-09-23 06:50:51 · answer #3 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is somthing that occurs lots in this way of situation. in easy terms shop it the that is that in case you somewhat are pleased with it. See brokeback they did love one yet another they have been held back by ability of the unfairness of society. Love is love and if he dosn' reciprocate you may bypass locate somone who will. Comrodery is truthfully no longer sufficient while issues get undesirable and you unquestionably need somone to hold you. you haven't any longer any undertaking you in easy terms want to love and be enjoyed. communicate this with him added he may well be scared to take those very final steps right into a real dating that's a sizable probability, he may well be fearful of the homosexuality element of it to. See now that is jsut all exciting and video games yet as quickly as you have fallen for eachother you may't quite hid from it anymore. those are issues which you would be able to ask him. that is somthing that would take him time to do. perhaps he loves you he's purely no longer waiting for that form of element.
2016-10-17 12:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Human sexuality is much more complex than being categorized straight or gay. Just as no two heterosexual relationships are identical, the same applies to homosexual ones.
Remember that you are not living your life to conform to others'
preferences. Trust your own feelings.
You two ARE having a relationship whether either of you admit it to yourselves or not. You ARE at the very least bisexual. Accept this , in your own minds, and you will be much happier.
It's OK to love a person of your own sex. Don't let anyone, including yourselves, tell you otherwise!
2006-09-23 02:26:12 · answer #5 · answered by Darryl R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just to get this out- I don't think you're gay if you say you aren't. I think YOU would know and if you're looking for a relationship then you're not in denial, so I believe you.
If he loves you back then you should be able to ease into a stronger relationship, if not then it doesn't have to end. You can be friends, but it's more of a waste to wait for someone you can't have- well not EXACTLY a waste.
I sincerely hope EVERYTHING works out,
Alika613
2006-09-23 07:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by alika613 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are still young (20's) then just wait and see what happens. Maybe he will get some maturity and see that you are what he wants. I don't understand when you say you want something more and then say you want to be with him. What is more? You are tired of gay sex? Well he ain't never gonna have a vagina or boobs, and neither are you, so if you are tired of the sex, you better move on. You never "waste" your life with a relationship even if it turns out bad....you just learned a life lesson and move on. You never mentioned the word "love" so I don't think you are as committed as you think you are. Have fun and see what happens. "I don't know how to quit ya".
PS. You are gay !!!!!!!
2006-09-22 23:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by nesmith52 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rex, you seem to have a basic problem with the definition of homosexual. If you're in love with someone of the same gender, 'want a life with him' and are having a willing, sexual relationship with him, you ARE a homosexual. That's what being gay MEANS, dude. There are no two ways about it. Your refusal to accept it makes you appear to be extremely confused and in deep, deep denial about your own nature. Once you accept who you are and embrace it, you'll be a happier, saner, more grounded individual and you'll be ready for the kind of relationship you want. Until then, you appear to be living in a fantasy world of self-imposed ignorance.
2006-09-23 04:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try doing some soul-searching. It never hurts to find yourself, whatever "self" that may be. I don't mean to go out and experiment dangerously. Just look into yourself, and read a lot on the subject of sexuality. I think everyone has their doubts about what they are sexually at one time or another, so it always helps to be well-educated on the subject. Just remember that you're not alone, and don't try to be something you're not. That would really be a waste of your life.
2006-09-23 01:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by roninscribe80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say. It sounds like you should consider if you can be happy with things the way they are (sounds like you're not). If not, then you should move on. There will be someone else out there who is looking for what you are looking for. It might take a little while, but you'll find what you need.
Best of luck to you.
2006-09-23 01:27:41 · answer #10 · answered by wicked64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋