This is going to be my first Christmas where we have to decide what we are doing at Christmas in terms of where to have xmas dinner and how to split the rest time between both our families. what does everybody do?
2006-09-22 23:11:33 · 34 answers · asked by Kerri 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
I am married and my husband and I have no children, so our families tend to get a little possessive around the holidays because they think we don't need to spend time with just each other. We have had to fight this very battle every single Christmas that we have been married. We decided the very first year that we were married that we never wanted to spend Christmas day away from our house. It has been tough for our families to accept, but they are beginning to get used to it. Typically, we spend Christmas Eve with my parents and then Christmas afternoon with them as well. Then, we go see my husband's family the day after Christmas for a couple of days since they live further away than my parents do. Bottom line: What ever you decide to do, someone will be unhappy because they will feel like they are being slighted in the amount of time you are spending with them. But, you need to be upfront with everyone and tell them what you want. Don't be afraid to stick to you plan even if they get upset, and don't forget to leave time for you and your spouse/significant other to spend alone together. That is just as important as the time you will spend with your families.
2006-09-23 01:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by katethefabulous 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
From a straw pole of my friends it depends on a lot of factors.
Do all the relatives live in the same town or a long way away?
If they live in the same town the couple together generally spend the day half and half or they do christmas day at one boxing day at the other.
If they live in different cities it tends to be one year at one, next year at the other.
However Christmas spent as a couple is always controversial - people come up with all sorts of lies - ie they are on holiday or out of the country for xmas.
It also depends on how your family feel about christmas - could you host a chrsitmas at your house for all the families or are the families too big to have in one house.
Generally - yes xmas is a nice time but it is meant to be a holiday not a period of emotional black mail. If you have any relatives who will be on their own make sure they have someone to spend it with, but you can't as grownups be with everyone on xmas day.
2006-09-22 23:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Bebe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is what we do, My extended family (aunts uncles cousins) get together a week before Christmas and have out celebration, His family (brothers, sisters, parents) gets together really close to if not on Christmas eve, and when my mom and sister lived here we would spend Christmas dinner with them, but we were always home Christmas morning and afternoon with just the kids, me and my husband, for the past 5 years we spend all day on Christmas at the house and I cook dinner and we always have who I call the straglers (friends and family who dont have anywhere else to go) show up at the house. It works out well for us, and everyone gets to see everyone through the holidays.
2006-09-23 05:35:03 · answer #3 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide together what time will be your's as a couple . Then consider your family and the geography. Go to the most distant for Christmas eve or day. The other for New Year Day dinner. Save time to establish your own traditions such as you celebrate together Christmas eve and New Years eve. Important you start your own . you are a family now and if you have children you will want to share it with them.
2006-09-23 13:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by nora7142@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm lucky because I go abroad every year because my husband works away. So I don't have to worry about all that. However when we were home one year, we went my husbands parents for Christmas dinner and then to my Mum's for Christmas tea. It's a lot of travellilng around for the day but at least everyone is happy. Only thing is we got tired and stressed having to go all over the place and you don't enjoy Christmas at home! So this year we're off to Italy! Bella Italia! Hope it all works out for you.
2006-09-23 21:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the families live close enough to visit them in the same day you could do Christmas morning with one and evening with the other. Base it on which family has young kids or which family has a tendancy to get up later. Or you could do one Christmas eve and the other Christmas day.
If they are too far away alternate years, this year with one next year with the other.
2006-09-23 06:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by PrincessB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its simple my parents were Danish and now my kids are grown up they spend xmas Eve with us and Christmas day with their partners family !!! simple but I'm married to a English man and cook Christmas dinner for his family so I cook 2 Christmas dinners not so simple
So next time marry someone who has Christmas on christmas eve
2006-09-22 23:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by bradyboxers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family live 100miles away so we do xmas here with the wifes family, new year there and alternate every year.
We have young children so i think it's important they see grand parents and they get the chance to see the kids at christmas.
If you don't have children then maybe it's not so important but bear this in mind, your parents will not be with you for ever, say another 15 years. So you will only have 15 oportunities to spend xmas or new year with them and then it's lost for ever.
I don't think it's much of a sacrifice when you have the rest of the year and then the rest of your life to do other things.
2006-09-22 23:21:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You spend Christmas Eve with one and Christmas Day with the other. When you have your own family you can opt out of both to make your own traditions. Then maybe visit both families for a short time very late in the day.
2006-09-23 06:22:14 · answer #9 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will depend on how close (as in your relationship to them) you both are to your families, rather or not you two have kids, and how far you live from family. If you have kids I say stay home and start your own family traditions. If you live in the same area as both of your families, then spend half the day with each. You could also invite them both to your home, of course they would stay at a hotel. Finally you could visit one for Christmas and the other for New Years.
2006-09-22 23:25:25 · answer #10 · answered by lady01love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋