my husband think i should be over it now,but i just feel so empty and i can't stop crying.
2006-09-22 20:16:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
No one but you can understand the loss you are experiencing - every one experiences different emotions and feelings. I wish I could say you "would get over it" but, in a way, you don't ever totally get over it. You always will keep your loss tucked within your heart. But, each day does get easier - I promise. Your hormones are all out of wack, your body is confused, and your heart is broken. YOU did nothing wrong at all. Your body takes care of what is necessary, and right now your little cherriub has wings. Many will tell you God has his plans, and while it is true, you don't want to hear that - or accept that right now. Don't give up - let your body rest, and then start trying again. The worst thing you can do right now is pull away from the ones you love, and love you in return. Let yourself accept the loss, KNOW that you did NOTHING wrong, and the next time you are prego., it will even be more special. Most important, don't listen to the negativity people will post on here. Don't let them get you down. You have a right to your feelings of loss, insecurity and hopelessness. But, you need to get stronger every day - for yourself and your husband. If you just have that feeling that you can't get over it, please contact your OBGYN. He/She can refeer you to a support group, or a professional to sort out your feelings. Also, if you have a church home, let them support you emotionally. You have made the first step by reaching out for advice ... support ... now, let the people you love and love you help you. Please feel free to email me and let me know how you are or give you any support you need.
2006-09-22 20:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by kensmommatoo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry for your loss. I have had a miscarriage myself and know what its like. Im now nearly 7 months pregnant again and everything seems to be going smoothly this time around.
No, dont ever blame yourself. Miscarriages happen for many different reasons. The MAIN reason they happen is either because there was something wrong with the DNA structure of the fetus or the mother didnt have the appropriate hormones at the time to continue the pregnancy. Noone can really give u a reason as to why it happened, but remember u can always try again later when u have gotten over this one.
Miscarriages are as high as 50% around the world. So basically 1 in 2 pregnancies dont work out. My doctor told me when i first fell pregnant this time that i shouldnt expect too much because i miscarried last time. The first trimester/3 months are the most crucial. Once u get past that point it becomes easier and you have more of a chance of carrying a full term pregnancy.
Once again i wish u the best and whenever u decide to try again good luck.
2006-09-23 03:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by gr33n_3y3d_grrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage I know its sad you never said how long ago it was. I never had a miscarriage but I did have a ectopic pregnancy so I know and understand what you must feeling the empty part, I would say to you once you can get pregnant again that will be a big help especially with that empty feeling.
No it was not your fault the reason why you had a miscarriage more often the reason is there was something wrong with the baby and was better it happening it just could not survived this is what you have to remember.
2006-09-23 03:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Magoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time can heal your pain as corny as it may sound. Men don't understand they don't get attacted like women do.You were carrying your child and the second you know that you are having a baby there is a connection and a love that no man will ever know.You didn't do anything and don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Just give yourself time to heal.You will never fully get over this loss as it is the loss of a child no matter how young the fetus is. Only time can heal you pain and your husband can never understand what you feel because he can never carry a child.In time you will be able to think about you baby and be happy with the time that you had although you cannot see it now. My deepest sympathy's for your loss.
2006-09-23 03:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besides emotional devastation, you have huge hormonal changes. Your husband does not sound supportive which would help you recover.
Most people go on to have successful pregnancies. Start building up your body for your next child. Remember the folic acid. Eat lots of healthy food.
I now have two children and my miscarriage is a foggy memory. That may not help you now, but once you get your precious children it will seem like the miscarriage was meant to be. You may look at your youngest and realize that he or she wouldn't be here if you hadn't miscarried.
2006-09-23 03:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an old midwife and I have always told people that a miscarriage is nature's way of dealing with a mistake --not anything you did !!!!!--- just something that was not quite right --- so that the way is clear to start again. Not every foetus is perfect and sometimes your body recognises this even if you dont. Miscarriages were never intended to be born. You must start again . It is extrememly rare to happen twice in a row --- unless you take drugs or drink to excess then all bets are off!!
2006-09-23 03:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by virginia o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Losing a baby is difficult. And your hormones are going crazy from the miscarriage. Your husband is feeling the loss as well, but he doesn't have raging hormones that leave him crying. Try to find a support group to help you get through this. You need to realize you did not do anything wrong. This is just a painful part of life, not punishment for anything you did.
Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-09-23 03:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by LasVegasMomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loss of life is always hard to deal with. When the life has never taken a breath of air it is devastating. It is also harder on us women. Being that of a more emotional structure. Men say well it happened and get on with it. While women grieve. What you must understand is that both of you have the right to your feelings and no one should take that away from you. Whether the baby lives or not women will suffer from postpartum depression sometimes.
This takes time and you do need to talk to someone. Please seek help from a professional.
2006-09-23 06:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anne M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
losing a baby is devastating, i lost my baby over 3yrs ago and i still have days where i feel sad, even though i have since had another baby and am pregnant again, the 1 thing u should not do is blame yourself, which is easier said than done but i can say things do get easier in time. i don't think you ever get over the lose or sense that somehow it was your fault but sadly sometimes things go wrong and i believe now they go wrong for a reason. i wish you all the luck in the future. you are in my thoughts take care x x x
2006-09-23 03:29:09 · answer #9 · answered by mum_2_many 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you will miscarry for the baby was going to have problems your body will reject the fetus and that will cause you to miscarry, I know it's hard but at least you won't have a baby born with problems, just feel sorry for the woman who has to raise a child with problems. If God feels you can't handle it then hHe did you a favor. I know it sounds heartless to say you can try again, but you can...........Good Luck.
2006-09-23 03:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by lisa b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋