I was invited out by my girlfriend and another couple (good friends)who I also know. They all know I cant speak Bahasa Indonesian. But they can all speak in English. The entire trip to the restaurant, they only spoke their language, especially the other couple, and espesially that girl who kept initiating the conversation in their language. I felt left out, even though I made several attempts to speak English. Of course I was pissed off, which they noticed...but they still spoke in their language. What would you do in this situation? What do you think of their behaviour? What do you think I should have done?
2006-09-22 19:20:07 · 22 answers · asked by Patrick H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hey Patrick,
I think that your reaction to the situation was very natural. I think when you are among others who speak a different language and who know you enough to know that you do not speak it and they have the ability to communicate with you using your own language is extremely rude. I can understand where they might feel more comfortable talking in their native tongue but that in no way takes away from the fact that they are purposefully excluding you. I think you should have and still should bring it to their attention and make it a point to emphasize it to your girlfriend who should know better. If you are friends they should do everything to try and make you feel comfortable not excluded you, so they need to be called on their misbehavior. I speak from experience... I am Hispanic and speak Spanish and sometimes I do the same thing but I understand when I am called upon my behavior and they are right, I am being rude and try to remedy the situation... Good Luck..
2006-09-22 19:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always tell your girlfriend and/or the other couple that you would feel more comfortable if they spoke English. Perhaps suggest that they teach you Bahasa Indonesian.
IMHO, I think it's RUDE!!!!
A former boyfriend insisted on speaking his native tongue while carrying on a lengthy conversation with his brother - while in my presence. Initially, I said nothing, but as the relationship progressed, I told him that I considered it to be RUDE!!!
2006-09-23 02:28:57 · answer #2 · answered by Intolerant of Stupidity! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be pissed off. They weren't being considerate by not speaking English and making you feel left out. If you really wanted to, you could've left and went somewhere else. The next time they invite you to go out with them, reject their invitation and remind them of what they did. If they still choose to not be considerate and speak English, find new friends that will at least speak your language and not make you feel left out.
2006-09-23 02:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by Lady S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow
I have been in the same situation only it was Sioux.. I told my boyfriend ( after) that I didn't appreciate being ignored that way. I also told him it was very rude not to include me in the conversation. I asked him if he wanted to make me feel unwanted because that's what he did. I don't mind them talking in their birth language but all the time?
he got the point and the next time I went out with his family we talk a lot in English...it was a lot better.
be frank, honest and let her know where you stand by that. and most impotently, let her know how you felt then and ask her if that was the point.
good luck
2006-09-23 02:26:48 · answer #4 · answered by Marg N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think their behaviour was sucky. I would get rid of her. When I am with a man, I want him to know everything, not just bits. Besides, its damn rude to speak in a different language that not everyone in the place knows. If you stick it out with her, next time it happens, start speaking gibberish. Answer their questions in gibberish. Childish, but will get the message across!
2006-09-23 09:19:35 · answer #5 · answered by aawatson3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very rude to know that one has no idea of a certain language and for the other or others to continually speak in a language you dont understand. For all you know they could be criticizing you to your face and you are none the wiser. I suggest maybe asking them to teach you the basics or find a way to learn without their knowledge.
2006-09-23 02:50:39 · answer #6 · answered by Sinister Minister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should of politely said.. hey.. I'm starting to feel left out.. Mind speaking English so, I can join in on the conversation.
2006-09-23 02:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by DearAbby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was very rude. They have no compassion for anyone else. They were probably making fun of you the entire time and laughing about it. I would have left, made them stop the car and get out and walk. Dont put up with crap like that.
2006-09-23 02:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by notalucky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats pretty rude, I can imagine how you would have felt, not much you can do now but try to not put your self in that situation with those girls again, girls can be so catty, they obviously had a problem, and were to imature to discuss it with you, so they did the next best thing and acted like children.
2006-09-23 02:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They were either unaware of your feelings or they are just plain rude. I would have spoken up and asked them to please speak English. If they continued to leave me out, I would have taken a cab home. Why subject yourself to such poor manners. Sounds like you need a new girlfriend.
2006-09-23 02:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by Answergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋