Me and my boyfriend have been living together for about a year and plan to get married in april. I have been working full time and alot of over time to pay the bills. Most of the time he did not work. For the first several months he slept in while I worked. He even blew off job oppurtunities that would of given him a full time day job. He was a firefighter in another state before we got together and thats pretty much all he wanted to do so no other job mattered. Before that he was in the navy 13 years and then a EMT and then the fireman. So hes use to all these ego boosting adrenaline jobs. Those jobs are not so available here. So anyways he blew off most jobs and I continued to pay the bills. Then finaly a job comes available ....its security. Of course he takes it, its an ego boost. But this job offers no time at home with his family. Is it worth being with a man who thinks an ego boost is more fullfilling than helping support his family? I have changed my scedule 3 times.
2006-09-22 19:15:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Nobody here can really tell you what to do. Nobody here knows what he is really like. I will play Devil's Advocate here though. Maybe being in the navy, an EMT, a firefighter is just the type of work he likes to do. People who like numbers are accountants or brokers. People who like kids become teachers. It may not be an ego thing with him. He apparently is a good pressure, act on your feet, spur of the moment person and those are the jobs he chooses. With that being said, family is far more important. Even if he is unhappy, he should take a job that secures your relationship with each other; it sounds like you have done that, now it is his turn.
2006-09-23 14:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by don1joker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand the need to work long hours for a job and I can see that so can you.. while it is ok when it is just you and he alone it is not ok when you are trying to build a family together. If he can not find fulfillment on his own with out a ego busting position how will you or your family compete or ever come first. Marriage is based on a mutual partnership which has enough stresses of their own, but once children and money issues play a factor, you both need to be giving your marriage 110% and it seems that he is not even giving 10% and you aren't even married yet. I would seriously hold off on the marriage plans until you know for sure he is on board with you and will commit just like you are doing and if not then no matter how hard it is and hurtful, you need to find someone who will share your life not be a part-time player.
2006-09-23 03:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no, get rid of him. He is not much of a man for turning down jobs and staying in bed while you go out and work. And as far as his ego goes, it will go down hill just as everything else does the older you get. He will probably live by himself, just him and his ego. Not to many women put up with that crap. Plenty of good men out there. Go find one.
2006-09-23 02:21:53 · answer #3 · answered by notalucky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously you are with him for many more complicated reasons which you dont have time to get into here---relationships take work and effort on the emotional and understanding ends as well as the work and money and ego ends---obviously you are not happy so get some communication going with him instead of this board--get some counseling--from a friend or a professional---and good luck to you
2006-09-23 02:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woman, Get rid of his Butt..marrying this man will only worsen.. I seen it out of my own daughters, they married , she worked hard along came babies.. I was in a bar one night he didn't know i was there..I could hear him bragging how he has a ***** that takes care of him..Oh Yea.. I told my daughter of course the jerk denied his actions.. She knew her ol' dad to tell the truth.. may i add she has a succesful life with new hubby..
2006-09-23 02:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by TERRY S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think before you leap. It's better to have a boyfriend like that than a husband like that! It doesn't get any better after you're married. It you are questioning it maybe you better rethink this whole thing.
2006-09-23 02:21:43 · answer #6 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it has to do with ego, he's just lazy as hell. He's gotten used to that lifestyle. Is he worth it? I don't know because i don't know what type of guy he is or can be.
2006-09-23 02:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no.
he seems too selfish to be with a woman like you, who sacrificed a lot.
but then, you have to sort things out before you try to jump to conclusions...
cause, there's a chance the job he would take could strengthen your relationship.
with that.. i pray for you. :)
2006-09-23 02:24:46 · answer #8 · answered by robbie y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is problematic, then tell him to compromise with you. if he refuses, then you must leave him for someone who is going to make you happy. He needs to be there for you and vice versa. if he really loves you then he'll compromise. honestly, it doesn't sound like you have a healthy relationship. i don't think marriage is right for you guys.
2006-09-23 02:37:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. it really isn't.
he's one of your typical macho camacho types who only want to show the world how tough he is..and how stubborn he can be.
the worst part of it is that he made you work while he was jackingoff at home..waiting for you to pay bills.
sounds like a loser.
2006-09-23 02:19:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋