Maybe he believes, but I can't understand what his concept of God is and since he says God isn't controlling things on this earth, to me that sounds like disbelief. I'm not deeply religous, but I have experienced the goodness of God, so I know He exists.
We met 23yrs ago, dated for 2yrs, broke up and I got married (he never married)and had 1 daughter. 6yrs later (1yr after my divorce) we reunited, lived together for 2yrs and are now married 13yrs. He's not a bad father to our kids (we have 2 girls), straightforward in his dealings, doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on me BUT, there is not really warm love coming out from him. He trusts no-one and has a hard, cold wall around him 80% of the time. He isn't willing to take time off work to attend counselling and praying together is of course not an option for him. So, here I sit, wondering whats the best move. I'm a both a child and woman of divorce, so I know the pain this causes to a family. I'm not perfect either, who is? HELP!
2006-09-22 18:09:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you should have figured out this religion thing before you got married. My wife is a practicing Irish Catholic, and I'm a cynical Scottish Presbyterian, and we have no problems because we talked about the upbringing of kids, etc BEFORE we got married.
He seems like a good guy, maybe if you stop sweating the small stuff, he'll warm up.
2006-09-22 18:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by Duncarin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he believes in God because when he could have said, "Look at what's happening on earth, there is no God," He only said that God isn't controlling things on earth. In a way, God actually isn't controlling things on earth. God gave humans free will. He also put them in dominion over other things on earth. I do not understand how he is hard and cold. Maybe you are just a warm and open kind of person and he is not. Perhaps he is just more of a hard-working, peace-liking, quiet introvert (like I am) and he's been that way for a long time.Just because his personality is different from yours does not mean, he is a mean person without morals and he does not love just as hard as you. I do not trust too many people either, but I trust God. But if he should trust anybody--it should be his wife of 13 years. If there are issues affecting him and your marrige, since he refuses to go to counseling or pray with you--all you can do is keep your faith that everything will get better and keep praying. He is not commiting a lot of sins (drinking, gambling...) or cheating & he is a worker (and does not like to take time off), so there is no real absolute reason to divorce. My mom (a Christian woman and preacher's daughter) has been married to my crazy father (the son of preachers also) for about 18 years, but I can not began to tell you how many jobs we have seen him leave or lose through the years over stupid stuff. Many women may think you are blessed. Have you talked with him and asked him straight out if he wants a divorce? He may just be depressed or unhappy for right now. The best thing that you can do is to believe in God and God's power and let your husband see that you are so faithful and happy to be as blessed as you are. Keep praying and let your light shine for him to see --with your light shining and God's sun shining on your home, he may be warm and open before you know it. I believe that a thirteen-year-old marriage has got what it takes to keep working and keep surviving if it's what you both are willing to make work and last.
2006-09-22 18:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a little confused, it sounds like maybe you just feel like there is no romantic love in this marriage. If he is not really "bad" to you and all you are looking for is romantic love, then I would say that divorce is a bad idea. Romances tends to wain in all relationships, especially as we get older. Not to be rude, but has he always been this way or only since he has gotten older? Men tend to have lower testosterone levels as they age which can lead to low sex drive, irritability, etc. Just like female menopause. If this could be the case, have him get a physical and lab work to test his testosterone levels. I am a RN and have seen low levels cause a lot of problems. If this isn't it, remember, he doesn't have to believe in God for God to believe in him! Pray for him. I will too. Good luck!
2006-09-22 20:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Kimberly B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's one advice whatever you do dont divorce him, i mean he can be a pain in the butt sometimes but other then that he sounds like a sweet guy. If you really want try to give him some little bit more attenion, take him to dinner just the two of you and talk about it once you think he's ready to hear it. The one thing that guys love more then ever is attenion from their girl (most the time) and i think you can give it too him for a while!
2006-09-22 18:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by Cherry-Bomb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi
My First Qns will be to reflect on what made you first to marry him. Look at what attracted you to him. Share your love to him. Always look into the postive aspect of your hubby and comment on them. Abt religion, it depends what religion you are in. You can start off by praying on your own for your hubby. By setting this eg, and not enforcing on your hubby the choice of what you think, it gives him the time ponder. Everyone has a comfort zone, that once tresspassed, they feel threathened. Best move, continue loving him and how him despite the difference, you still love him while holding onto your principles on religion.In this resepct, the cold wall that he build around himself will gradullay be removed.
2006-09-22 18:45:15 · answer #5 · answered by pearlyalexis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stay married, be as loving to him as you can, keep praying for him and hopefully he will become a believer. Lots of people have gotten themselves in this situation. Fortunately in many cases the unbelieving spouse does come around and accept Christ as their saviour. Don't preach but share your views in a non threatening way, above all treat him with respect and love.
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. 1 Cor 7:12-14
2006-09-22 18:23:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The bible says it best and I quote, 1 Corinthians 7
10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
The writer of this letter was Paul. He was just and righteous in Gods eyes. His message is clear. By being a believing Christian your spouse is saved through you. By divorcing him you are condeming him to an uncertain future. If he is a good husband and father I ask you to try and work it out first.
2006-09-22 18:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by art m 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have been married for 25 years in oct have 4 kids 3 grandkids. my husband and i are like night and day,his religion is very I'mportant to him and so is politics,as for me well im really not into religion. he does not push it on to me as you are not supposed to,you have to make that choice yourself.you do not need to go to counsel ling just because you are not sure about god.if you love each other then let him be. we are all responsible for our own happiness.he may come to believe in his own time., but to get divorced because of religion that's crazy.well if he was doing the devil thing well yes i can see you doing that. i think you just need to open up and except each other the way you are.
2006-09-22 19:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by greeneyes634970 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. It's not easy but you can. If you truely believe in God and His Son, Jesus Christ, and trust Him, anything is possible. I have freind who is in the same situation as you. She loves God with all her heart and her husband. She has a son (grown now) with him. Many times she has wanted to leave him, but hasn't and probably won't. There are 2 Biblical reasons for divorce.
1: Adultry 2: one of the two are unbelievers. I'm not sugesting this by any means. If you love him, stick with him. Who, knows, he may come around by watching you. Keep trusting, God is faithfull.
2006-09-22 18:21:31 · answer #9 · answered by kat62961 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
for this marriage to work, you're going to need to begin attending a ministry so that you can have God's blessing in your life, the family's life, and in the marriage. Now after you begin attending, things aren't gonna just get rosey at the snap of your fingers. But, God wants to bless you but some things are hindering that in flow of blessings.
If you need help finding a ministry in your area, you can email me the name of your state and town or town nearby and I can locate you a decent ministry online. I'm a minister by the way. If sending me that info sounds weird then I recommend a ministry that is Bible based.
2006-09-22 18:17:59 · answer #10 · answered by DexterLoxley 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋