I hear stories of one guy being the masculine one and one being the feminine one. But gays are supposed to be attracted to MEN right? So why would they be attracted to someone who's feminine? Wouldn't that make them straight then?
2006-09-22 18:07:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
As you have no doubt noticed, there are gentle men and coarse men. There are men who are highly attracted to physical activities, and men who prefer to study, or to practice spirituality. So there's a whole range of different kinds of men.
Some activities may be considered to be "man's", some "women's". Is cooking something only women do? Clean house? Sew? Embroider? Throw the javelin? Run long races? As you can see, what activities are "masculine" and "feminine" might be the result of a very simple black-and-white view of life that just doesn't mesh with reality.
A relationship between two men is different from that between man and woman, partly because the man-woman relationship is so heavily loaded with social expectations.
Finally, psychology recognizes that there is a "feminine" side to men and a "masculine" side to women. In some men the feminine side is more developed than it is in other men.
So, wackyover, you've asked a very good, and very deep question. Are gays attracted to men's *bodies*, or the social role that men are asked to play? And the answer is: it depends on the mystery that we all experience when we're attracted to someone. It's a lot less black and white than some people think it is ... and much more wonderful than a limited picture of the world can understand.
You can look "across a crowded room" at ten thousand persons before you see - that one -. And there's no explaining it.
2006-09-22 19:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by Luis 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Good question and one I have puzzeled over for years. The same is true with some women that are lesbians-being the male part etc.
I happen to be a lesbian of many years and was into roll playing as it is called. I just followed what others were doing and I felt more the tomboy they feminine. Guess that rings true for the Gay guys too.
I'm not into roll playing anymore just a woman who loves being with women.
2006-09-23 01:15:47 · answer #2 · answered by dragon 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If by 'feminine' you mean a man being anally penetrated by another man in a relationship, your whole concept of sex role stereotype is being confused with gender role.
Being anally penetrated is not a gay sex act. It is an intimate sex act. It requires care, precision and trust. What is so 'feminine' about trusting your lover?
Effeminate gay men either 'camp' it up for attention or their mannerisms are just naturally flamboyant. "Camp' is a form of ironic, humorous indirect protest of the established hetero-normative view of masculine gender role conditioning. Being, or appearing to be, effeminate has nothing to do with femininity, but social justice and equality in the face of hatred, discrimination and prejudice.
2006-09-23 09:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm a gay guy and I don't understand this either. I don't find overly feminine guys particulary attractive. I think its more a social thing. People try to fit into societies ideal of the "male-female relationship." Thats the only type of relationship many gay people grew up seeing.
2006-09-23 01:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
First of all, you're talking about traditional gender roles in a heterosexual relationship. With gay relationships, we still have to decide how to divide up tasks. Some people stick with the traditional roles; simple and easy. Many others strive to be more egalitarian than tradition would dictate.
The short answer to your question is that the roles you're talking about have almost nothing to do with "feminine" or "masculine".
2006-09-23 01:46:02 · answer #5 · answered by Atropis 5 · 4⤊ 3⤋
That sounds more as though those roles are the ones you judge them to be more than those they actually are. You really should step away from your gender biasing and see that a relationship is not defined by the situations but by the persons involved within the relationship.
2006-09-23 15:19:28 · answer #6 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Atropis, I hope you get best answer. Your answer was right on target.
Gender and sexuality are two different things.
Males are not born biologically masculine and females are not born biologically feminine, and intersexes are not born biologically either of those two.
A full explanation in the link ^_^
Now on with the sociology lesson ^_~
It isn't about male and female roles. male and female refer to chromosomal sex patterns xy and xx. of these sex patterns there are over 30 (there are more than just males and females)
What you are indicating are gender roles. Gender is not biological; gender is a social identity.
Still, there is no universal experience of man-gender, woman-gender, any other gender or non-gender variation, masculinity or feminity.
Unless they communicate to one another "I want to play a woman/man tonight" they are not playing a different gender role.
2006-09-23 01:49:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well it works like this. One acts more like a man, he likes to do yard work and other things that masculine ones like to do. The other one likes to go shoping, clean the house, get their hair done things like that. So they are call the feminine ones. It is all in the personalty I think. I know this from friends and oh yes me, yet I am a little of both.
2006-09-23 01:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by lokken_2003 1 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Being feminine doesn't make one female. Personal preference comes into it. Also, feel a need (may be subconscious) to mimic hetereosexual society.
2006-09-23 02:31:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
wo-man, man- think about it -we are all a little of each.for many men together there will often be a passive and a dominant just as there are in heterosexuals.
2006-09-23 03:48:50 · answer #10 · answered by steveshoardhouse 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋