We have been married for 6 1/2 years now and have a 6 yrs old son, he has abused me in a lot of way and he's been constantly telling me that he had enough of me. For years I have been fighting for our marriage to work because of love eventhou he's been treating me like sh!t. We have a lot of issue but we never get it resolved because everytime we tried to talk we always end up having a big fight. He has a bad temper. I don't want to have a divorce but living with him is agony and pain.
2006-09-22 17:23:31 · 30 answers · asked by SAM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it might be time. you deserve better... so does your son!
2006-09-22 17:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by jeanne g 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all SAM..I am sorry for what you and your husband are going thru. It must be heart-breaking for you both. Have you tried going to church as a family and getting some marriage counseling? You say you love him and if you think your marriage is worthwhile saving then get some outside help.NOBODY deserves to be abused, no matter what the situation is. Maybe try a timeout period and separate to be sure that this is what you both want. Although,DO NOT stay together for the kids sake. It will not be good if he is abusive towards you,then he will eventually turn abusive towards your child.Sounds like he also needs some anger management. If you cannot talk to him about it,maybe a family member can do it for you,or even a close friend that can remain neutral. I went thru a similiar situation and I stuck around 22 yrs til I finally woke up one day and left. Now I am remarried to a man that respects me and makes me happy and loves me. It is so good to breathe again. Good Luck to you and I will think of you in my prayers. i hope all works out for you. Take Care.
2006-09-22 17:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by Shortydeb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The other side is so wonderful once you move through the fear of changing! You deserve so much more and it is there for the taking! Go get it girl - guys are so not worth it!
I have a five year old with my ex. We were together for 6 years and it was hell. We split up about two and a half years ago and I have never felt better! I was so ready when it finally ended that I never looked back. I never missed what we had and I have had an extremely great life ever since! We happen to be great friends and work together to coparent our child together. The three of us go to movies together - **** I have Christmas at his place with his girlfriend.
Take a risk - open your mind to something different. You have no idea what it can look like!
Good luck...
2006-09-22 17:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes two to tango and it takes two to fight. I hear just how he treats you, not how you treat him and I know there is no possible way you are completely innocent, we all are too much human to be completely innocent, even in a fair fight.
Have you tried to talk with him about whats wrong with your marriage, or have you only tried to talk to him about all the things that he is doing wrong to you thats messing up your marriage?
Maybe the reason why you arent getting along is that you treat him the way he treats you, but you dont realize it.. Maybe???
Men respond and act in different wys when they are hurt or abused than we women do.
When you accuse him of abuse and making your marriage full of pain and agony take a step back and watch how you act towards him and what you say. Are they hurtful things? Is it abusive in any way?
Not to be rude, but what you dish out you get back.
2006-09-22 17:59:01 · answer #4 · answered by Shalamar Rue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too had a husband who abused me in lots of ways ( not physical) he couldn't wait for me and " these little fu****s to go," etc. It wasn't til after I left that I found out that is how insecure men CONTROL! I never went anywhere without at least one kid with me. I didn't work outside the home. But nothing was ever clean enough or good enough because I was "only good for one thing and don't even do that " When he got served papers he cried and begged me not to go through with it .He even sat in the courtroom and CRIED! Don't think I'm a cold *****, but by that time I was emotionally finished , I looked at him in court and my only thought was " what a pathetic little weasel ". Do yourself a favor, go now. Before he destroys all your self esteem. Once you step back and look at that relationship objectively you will wonder what the hell you were thinking.
2006-09-22 19:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have stayed with him for as long as you have, because you are afraid of the unknown. You fear it could be worse, but you do not realize how truly better it could be; for fear does not want you to do anything out of love.
No relationship is perfect, but some are far better than others. The one things you will need to be careful of however, is that we are creatures of habit, and tend to go after the same types of mates over and over again; but with enough of a twist, that we think they are different [alcohol, instead of drugs, mentally cruel, instead of physically cruel, etc].
But for all the bad out there, there is also even more good. You may make a few mistakes along the way, and have to suffer a few hardships, but in the end you will succeed, and be thankful foe what you now view as sorrows.
2006-09-22 17:35:42 · answer #6 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you doing this? why are you asking for help? you knew that abused is wrong for what he done to you. You said he treat you like sh it then you know you don't want to divorce him. You are sick, and how in the world your son watch you get beat up by his father?????
I been there see what happen... You want to know what happen ??? until i was 21 i left home and never want to see mom or dad again. I have my own family and rasie better life. If you want your son to be around you more then you need to end it and do better life with youself and your son too.
If you don't Wish you luck... because it been 24 years not hear from dad and mom again. Its been peacefully.. so better think again, so you saying your husband more Imporant than your son life?
2006-09-22 18:34:09 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love and marriage should not hurt. You need to ask yourself if you really want your kid to grow up in this kind of atmosphere. This is not love you have been abused and your self esteem is low. You can find happiness somewhere else. Your husband does not love you or he would not treat or talk to you in the way he does. If you think about it you are all alone anyway but in pain be alone and happy with your son.
2006-09-22 17:40:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is abusive you need to end the relationship,it will self destruct eventually.No matter how much you love him ,if he doesn't love you and wants a divorce there isn't anything you can do to save it.Think about how he feels now ,if the two of you remain together his temper and bad feelings will only grow,and he may become a lot more abusive .It might be best to let him go ,to avoid either of you from hating each other or worst it ending in tragedy
2006-09-22 18:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by hekler1873 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say but divorce is long past due. I know this must suck for you but why stay with someone that doesn't make your heart skip a beat? Why stay with someone that scares you and is always putting you down?
Move on honey its what's best for you and your son! Do you honestly want your son to grow up and think its ok to treat women the same way that he saw his dad treat you?
2006-09-22 17:41:57 · answer #10 · answered by freaking_airhead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should take a break from each other, go on a small vacation away from each other to think things over but tell how much you love him, and let him know that you do need help and that you are having a problem if you both fight for your marriage, you can solve any problem. don't get a divorce its painful and even more painfull for the child! think of you son please!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-22 17:28:43 · answer #11 · answered by celinuchis90 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋