Help me out please! Question about being Depressed?

Question

Well I'm feeling depressed and I have reasons why, but the thing about it is that I usually have a good outlook on life and never feel like being depressed. Just looking for something to help me feel better. Anyways-depressed because Mom had affair and is getting a divorce from stepdad. I had the upmost respect for my mother but she's still seeing this guy and he's even married. It's pathetic and everytime she goes out it goes from being out 1 hour to 2 and a half so obviously she's still lying about where she's going. I'm just really mad at her and she's even lashed out at her mother for telling me something that my mother did. I have no respect for her anymore and why should I? The whole divorce is all on her, and stepdad is a good guy overall, but when she started weight loss it all went downhill as she started to see herself as something new and flashy. Either way, anyone have any advice from situation like this or just something to keep me happy aside from my real dad and stepdad?

Answer 1

Sorry to hear your mom is so selfish that she is not seeing what she is doing to her son. To the credit of your dad and stepdad it looks like alot of them have rubbed off on you because you are a very mature man with values and morals. Good for you!

I can only imagine how hard this is to deal with and live with. I would suggest seeing if you can live with your dad or your stepdad. If you can't get yourself involved with a hobbie or involved with your school so that you can focus your attention on good stuff and keep yourself on the right track.

This relationship your mom is currently in probably won't last since it started off as a sin. Right now she is so blinded by reality and doesn't want to be told she is doing wrong. She is going to hit rock bottom and is going to expect you and her mom to be there for her.

Keep your chin up and keep doing the right thing. Despite the example you are being shown you are going to be a good man.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I know you are very hurt by your Moms actions. You have every right to feel as you do. I am sorry your Mom has disappointed you and perhaps others in your family.
We never know why people do what they do. We may shake our heads in shame, disgust and in anger but it is just our ways of dealing with things. Get your anger out by doing things like jogging, walking, talking etc. it sounds like you have been through a great deal. It is wonderful you have a Dad and Step Dad there for you.
They will be your support factor and fear not addressing your concerns about all this with them. You all need one another at this time. We all know your Mom is in the wrong, yet understand she is still your Mom. You feel about her as you wish, perhaps someday she will have an explanation for her actions. I do wish you the best so say prayers and God will hear and heal you.

Answer 3

Are you old enough to leave home yet? Your mom is having issues with her own self confidence and completely ignoring her responsibilities as a mother. You must be so confused! But don't let other peoples' behaviour get you down, if any thing learn from their mistakes. I know exactly how you feel, (my mother is an alcoholic and has been since I can remember) You have your own life to live, focus on the things you are able to control, and be as happy as you can.

Answer 4

Whatever is going on with your mom and step dad is out of your control, and def not your fault.
It is a sad thing divorce. Try to spend your time with friends or doing activities that make you feel a sense of accomplishment. Become a big sister for younger children going through a divorce, volunteer in your community.
Keep your focus positive.

Answer 5

My advice to you is to do something you want to do every day of your life, no matter what it is. Otherwise, you are wasting your time on this earth.

Their is nothing you can do about your mom; she is clearly going through something in her life that you cannot relate to. Later, she will regret many things, including the loss of your love and respect. Its hard to respect your parent if they keeping making such obvious, and harmful mistakes; try to love her anyway, because she is your mom, and she won't be around forever. This will require you to pull away from the whole mess and just try to reach out to her when she wants to reach out toward you. I'm not worried about your mom; I'm worried about you. If possible, you should actively seek counseling for depression through school or your local community outreach programs. Talking to others will help. You're not alone through this mess, you have only to reach out, and ask for help.

Try to keep in mind: no one can be happy all the time. Its normal to feel sad, especially when dealing with a bad situation we have no control of.......

Hang in there.

Answer 6

Does your stepdad love you enough to take care of you and let you live with him. If he is stable and dependable it looks like you would be better off with him till your mother gets he head on straight. Have you told her how you feel and have you talked it over with your step father? Perhaps it is time you sat down with him and or her and had a chat.

Answer 7

first, dont judge her.. none of us has the right to judge to matter how bad the person is. Have a heart to heart talk with your mom.. tell her what u dont like her to do.. listen to what she must to say about it and try to understand and compromise. maybe she has a deep reason why she's doing that. the best thing to do is to listen and understand.. let her find her happiness.. it's really hard to find someone who can really understand the situation like that but if u want her to change for her betterment, dont ask her to change but instead, LOVE her.. show her how much you love her.. if she feels that, she will have a realization and she will be the one to change for you and be asking for forgiveness.. after all, she is still your mom.. Good luck, pray for her and GOD Bless!

Answer 8

Every person has the right to do what he wants to do with his life, whether right or wrong. And for that matter, I do believe that your mom too has that right. She is not accountable to any other human being for what she does but to God alone.

Your mom is just being human in the sense that she acts based on what her heart dictates and for that, respect her decision. It is she who loves and may be, she's only finding happiness for herself but sometimes forgets that in doing so, some people around her are hurt along the way. She may not intentionally want to hurt you or anybody else for that matter but because of her sensuality, she does it unawaringly.

Well, I would say, that you should do away with your anger for what she's doing and understand her as a woman who may easily fall into temptation.

You may have a heart-to-heart talk with her regarding that matter and assure her that you understand her and will respect her decision regarding how she wants to run her life. But during your talk, request her to pursue doing what she wants to do but as much as possible, do things according to moral conduct and ethics. Tell her that if she really doesn't love your stepdad anymore, she should separate ways with him first before she should continue seeing that man for after all, tell her, that your stepdad has been a good second father to you and deserves respect.

I hope that if you talk to her in a gentle and understanding manner, she may realize that she can do what she wants without hurting her loved ones by doing it right and properly.

As regards your depression, if you really learn to understand her, your anger for her will be replaced with understanding and concern, then love her more for she is your mom and she will be your mom forever. When she sees your love and understanding for her, her stern heart filled with passion for that man may be a little softer and more considerate to your heart's delight.

Love yourself. Don't harbor any feeling of anger or hatred for anybody in this world so much more for your mother, for anger and hatred will wear your body and spirit down to the max. You wouldn't want that, would you? Life is wonderful but only when love, understanding and support dwell altogether in one's heart for all those whom he loves. All the best.

Answer 9

I think, someday you will question your own actions....one day, you will look back on your life and wonder if you took the right path....maybe there is still time to enjoy your youth...what's left. Hopefully, no one will judge you, if you feel you didn't do all you wanted to! Maybe you'd like to make those last attempts to do so....Good Luck with that! Remember your only as old as you feel!!!!

Answer 10

Just say to yourself, 'That's not how I am, or I'm going to be!' and be proud of yourself. Nothing you can do about your Mom. We don't pick our parents do we. You can understand, forgive, or at least step back and tolerate. But just don't be that way. You are the mature one here.

And besides, you really don't know what's going on, or not going on, intimacy wise with your parents, so don't get involved. That's my advice anyway. Good luck with that, ok.