I have no social life aready, at school i only have like 3 friends and there not even that close. I went to a new school for highschool because i thought i could start over and make new friends but i just couldnt, im close to a loner again. This is my first year of highschool and there's still 4 years till this pain is over, i cant stand it!!!! then my life britened up because of my online buddy, i met a long time ago... i really liked him, and i thought he kinda felt the same. I know virtualy dating is kind of stupid but i cant help it that im a loner right. today i realized he didnt care one bit for me, he thought of me as someone he didnt know, didnt care, and never liked. When we chatted before he made it sound like he felt the same, we had so much in common, but no. he never liked me, he never realized i existed, while i looked into him and i thought he was the most important person to me. it hurt, i cant seem to find anway to live anymore, i have no love and no friends. it hurts.
2006-09-22 17:10:11 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hey, I am 45 years old and have like 3 friends, and it took me years to find good ones. You don't make friends, you find them. Don't knock yourself because most kids don't get you. It's tough being wiser than most of the lemming kids out there. You must be wise and smart because most people are too stupid to be as mad as you are right now. That is not a slam. It sounds to me like you have high standards and others sense that and stay away. Nobody likes to think you think they are stupid.
Most people are generally incompatible so don't be so hard on yourself. If you want lots of acquaintances, lower your intensity and act nicer, you will attract more average people. If you want good friends, continue as you are and you may have to wait for the right people to come. You can always do what I did and try being somewhere in between.
One thing I learned, there are lots of things that you can do and see in this world while you collect the few good friends that are really friends, and while I was spending time with OK acquaintances, waiting for people I really connected with, I was living a pretty good life.
I bet it does hurt. But it won't hurt forever. Take a deep breath when times are tough, and move through it. I found that talking to a councilor (mine was a psychologist) helped me now and then. He taught me one very important fact of life.
Daily life is average, not whizzbang exciting. When I thought that daily life was supposed to be super wonderful every minute of every day, everything regularly looked like crap. Life is supposed to be a little struggle everyday. Some days less or more than others but on the whole it is kind or boring, That is the starting point. That way the lows are not so low and the highs are easier to get to.
When I was in your shoes, I thought that this crappiness was all there was in life. That I would always be alone and troubled. You have no idea about the wonders of being 25 or 30 or 45. I'm not suggesting that it will all be happy all the time, far from it, but believe me, it is worth the wait. In high school I thought the world was a huge s*** hole, barely worth the bother, and now I'm very glad I'm still here to live in it.
Just take one average day at a time (work to make them better than average days when you can) and put one foot in front of the other and get through it. There is a payoff coming if you let yourself be open to it. I know you can do it.
Good luck kid, Your OK in my book.
2006-09-22 18:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by tcb9020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know very few people that actually enjoyed their high school days. They are so uncomfortable. We all feel judged and out in the open, not protected. Its not you - its everyone in high school. I think, when you get to your senior year you'll be more comfortable and have more fun...then its over.
You may not have close friends...but few do. It may look like other girls have close friends...but they'd just as soon stab each other in the back as look at them.
Its a very trying time in every teens life. Have you talked to your parents about it? Maybe they can help you understand these feelings? If you can't and you really feel bad about it ask your parents if you can talk to a therapist. Its not saying your bad or sick but it will help you to understand yourself and other better.
Yes, you can go on. There' s a huge great future out there for you...and you'll never see it, meet the love of your life or meet your children if you don't.
God doesn't give us a challenge without also giving us the ability to overcome that challenge - and become stronger for it.
2006-09-23 00:23:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask "what should i live for" - well, it's the only way things can get better.
I had a friend commit suicide - much older than you. He had problems - now he never has a chance for a better life.
You only have a chance for a better life, when you are alive. I am 43yo and and single. I have 0 friends, my family live the other side of the Atlantic & I haven't been out on a date in over 10 years. Gess what, I'm going hiking in New Zealand at Xmas & stopping in Tahiti on the way back to the USA, to do some snorkelling. I had fun in Australia at the 2000 Olympics, went diving in Belize in 1999, trekking in Morocco in 1992. I hope to retire aged 50yo in just a few years - cool, eh ? Life CAN suck & be fun at the same time
Find the (socialy acceptable - especially by your family) things you enjoy. If you are going to do something, do it to the best of your ability & take pride in doing things well.
2006-09-23 00:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by dryheatdave 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just when you think life sucks and maybe feel sorry for yourself, or just don't care anymore, the best times are just around the corner, they'll come, even if right now you can't even imagine it can ever be possible, and then, when you get comfortable with better times, it gets even better still... keep in mind though, life is usually 2 steps forward, 1 step back...life can seem like a challenge or useless sometimes, but good times are definitely ahead... have some patience, but also, prepare yourself to participate, enjoy the good things in the future !
2006-09-23 00:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by million$gon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL STOP THINKING LIKE THAT Believe me I am 25 and all the friends I once had in high school aint there anyways. All the things that I should have been worrying about back than I wasn't and now I am kicking myself in the *** for not worrying about these things. The only thing that you should be worried about is your education...I know it sounds corney to say and I sound like a parent....wait I am.....no for real though, don't worry about small things like that because 25 years from now all those popular people are going to see you at a class reunion and realize they should have been nicer and became your friend and actually gave you a chance, only because you will be one of the more success full people there. Than you can literally say kiss my *** to all those who never gave you a chance in the first place. Plus they will all have like 15 kids out of wed lock, single, or divorced on the verge of bankruptcy while you'll be chillin.
2006-09-23 00:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, we've all been there. High school is nuts, but you will survive it. I know, I know. It's easy for me to say. But I will tell you this: I felt the same way on multiple occassions when I was your age. I was the dweebiest of dweebs. I ate lunch alone and hung out with my pet dog on the weekends. People antagonized me and called me a loser, and it made me want to die! But I somehow made it. As someone who has been in your position, I would suggest going out and volunteering with a church group or other charitable organization. You will find yourself surrounded by awesome, friendly people, who will all tell you that the amount of friends you have in high school is really actually quite meaningless on the spectrum of life. Also, what do you love to do? Is it acting? Then, audition for some plays. Is it painting? Then go paint. Don't know? Go try stuff! Hang in there! It WILL get better!
2006-09-23 00:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by Piddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl.....I know exactly what you are talking about. I went throught the same thing when i was in high school, but I made it. What I did is try to concentrate in finishing school and not worrying about others. I know friends are important to have, but sometimes you just got to take matters into your hands.
What helped me the most is joining an organization that best interest you as a hobby or maybe something to your liking. But listen to me ...don't feel that you have nothing to live for because thats not true......a whole lots of things are ahead of you for your future. As far as the online buddy you had.....don't be fooled into being tricked like that because sometimes it doesn't turn out like you wanted to.
Listen just hang in there....I know you can overcome this situation just like I did. When you least expect it.....things will change for the better. Take care....and best of luck.
2006-09-23 00:20:09 · answer #7 · answered by cool_dude 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweety,
I'm so very sorry that you are going thru this. You are strong though and you can make it thru this. Just think .... It could always be worse. Keep your head up and get the idea of not living anymore out of your head. Look at all the comments you have, all of us who care about you and we don;t even know you. You have alot to live for. If u ever need someone to talk to I'll be more than glad to chat with you. beautifulwisper@yahoo.com
I hope you start to feeling better. Life is so worth living. Take care now!!~
2006-09-23 01:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by Lil-Chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the matter with you? Knock it off! How are you thinking stupid thoughts because some jerk isnt what you thought he coulld be. Who needs friends? weak people, a strong person has few or no friends. Friends slow yu down, they lie and talk crap about you at some point or another. You are a strong young lady and no online dork has to make your life worth living. You have yourself and your family. You are strong and smart. If you wernt you wouldnt have the sense to ask for help. You better KNOCK IT OFF. Now go out there and enjoy your life. You will meet many people out there soon and forget about dumb dumb and he will want to retrieve your friendship. Dont give him the pleasure. You are woman hear yoursellf roar!
2006-09-23 00:20:18 · answer #9 · answered by Lourdes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are basing your self-worth on whether or not you're in a relationship or a cliche at school, instead of on who you are. Are you missing a parent in your home? The dad?
You're a beautiful young girl JUST beginning the most difficult years of childhood. All of the other kids your age feel like you do. Even the most popular kids feel like nobody understands them, like nobody likes them. They find boyfriends and break up and all that stuff.
The thing to remember about online is that what you're sharing with someone is TYPED WORDS...that's IT! Most of us online have had to learn that...and for some of us it means getting hurt by someone we thought was 'real'. It's a tough blow, isn't it? Awww....(((hugs))).
Go to bed no later than 10pm. Get up, eat a good breakfast, and spend plenty of time getting ready for school. Fresh clothes. Clean hair and fingernails and smell-good shiny hair! From then on, just focus on being your best...all for YOU. Clean your room, make some art for your bedroom walls...or paint them! Get all of your homework done....and bake some cookies, just for fun! Take them to school and share them. Being good to yourself....making your daily life pleasant...makes you SHINE! Not overnight...but trust me....it will be noticed by others. When you look good and feel good, people want to be around you. Give it a try. And YES, you're very special, and you're worth it.
2006-09-23 00:19:29 · answer #10 · answered by maynerdswife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋